sugamama38 Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I am a mw and I am in love with a single man. This man has depression. We have been seeing each other for 8 years. He acts like he is afraid of commitment. I have told him I would leave my husband to be with him and he starts pushing me away. This man is 11 years younger than me. I love him with all my heart but what should I do?
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 You are a commitment-phobe's greatest dream, as long as you remain married that is. As long as you remain married, he gets all the benefits from being with you without ever having to worry about when the exclusivity talk is going to come up - not to mention he doesn't have to worry about you wanting to marry him. I'm sure that the fact that you are not only older, but the type of woman who cheats on her husband is always lurking in the back of his mind as well. Good enough for "right now" but certainly not the type of woman he wants to end up with completely or permanently. It sounds like this situation is working for him. As soon as you try to start making it work for you, this guy will be history. I guess your choices are fairly limited: stay married and continue the relationship in his safety zone, or take a chance at divorce and losing this guy.
puddleofmud Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 OR take a chance and separate/ divorce your current partner as it would seem that an eight year affair and the fact that you are in love with someone else would mean that you are no longer committed to your husband? As well, your lover isn't what you need, either? It's a huge step but one you may consider in order to release yourself from what is not at all "working" for you...depending on "men" to take care of your needs where you could, perhaps, find it within you to take care of YOU....first and without so much emotional baggage? There is a light at the end of the tunnel and I hope you find it!
Motor35 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Could your BF's depression be caused by him being involved with a married woman? Is he in counselling or on meds? Your BF might be so quick to pull away when you offer to divorce your husband because he probably fears you might do the same thing to him!
Confused27 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 ^ I think you know that post was bull****. there is no need to be so mean
Motor35 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 ^ I think you know that post was bull****. there is no need to be so mean ?? Pardon?
oyster Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 if you are serious about love and blablab. 1-Divorce your hubby 2-don't expect SG to be there 3-Love yourself before loving others 4-date SG as a single woman 5-age difference is not that big. I was 7 years yonger than xMW
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