Gia41373 Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I have been on and off with my boyfriend for 14 years. I just caught him and his friend with a naked prostitute in the house while I was sleeping upstairs in his bedroom. He has never done anything like this before (that I know of) and he was really really intoxicated. I know there are no excuses for this, but I'm just wondering if this is even forgivable. I am very devastated by this and I don't know what to do. He has told me all the expected things a guy would say after they get caught and I'm not sure if he's really sorry or just sorry he got caught. I'm scared to throw away 14 years, but I'm not sure if I will ever get over this. Any suggestions?
wlminfla Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 That is really terrible! Unfortunately, only you can decide if this is forgivable and whether or not you stay in the relationship. However, here are some things to consider... 1. Did he hook up with the prostitute? 2. Has this sort of thing happened before? 3. Did you truly convey to him your negative feelings about this? 4. After 14 years, do you still love him after something like this? 5. Do you see this happening again? These questions should be considered and answered before you make a final decision. Do keep in mind though, that if you do decide to forgive him, that is definitely taking the high road but don't expect this memory to fade instantly.
wlminfla Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Sorry about question #2...you already answered that one :-)
loveratud Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 We need a lot more details about the situation. What did he actually do?
bridget_jones Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I'm sorry. 14 years of being with a man and this is what it's come down to, him being in a room with a prostitute? That would be a dealbreaker for me. I hope you make the right decision and leave him. Plus it doesn't seem like he is too committed to the relationship if you have been with him for that long and you're not married yet. Good luck, I really feel for you.
Author Gia41373 Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 Bridget Jones, you are so right. I just wish I had the strength to break up with him. Things have been going so well for us until this happened. He acts as if he is devastated too by the whole thing, but like I said before, maybe he's just sorry he got caught. We talk about marriage all the time, but he's afraid (so he says). Our relationship has been so rocky over the years. We have broken up so many times in the past, but we always end up back together. This last time we got back together, the both of us really put a lot of effort into the relationship to make things finally work. THEN, he pulls this crap! When things like this happen, a girl always hopes that maybe something happening this bad has made him realize or does it??????
Guest Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 GIA: he must have a porn addiction. this can cause you pain for years to come. his drinking may have uncovered his lust. do you want diseases he will bring you? no sex with him til he gets checked. he may have done this stuff before and this time was too drunk to cover it up. I know it hurts. please find someone who deserves you.
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