BeccaD Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I'm a MW who had an affair with a MM. It was selfish... neither of us unhappy in our marriages but liked each other and went for it... fell in love... yadda, yadda. It lasted a few months... then his W found out something was going on, although she doesn't know everything. We went NC a few weeks ago... but it's been tough and we've broken it a few times by E-mailing to say hi and talk about how we feel... That's the background. Here's the thing. I miss MM... not the A or the sex or the affection or anything but just his friendship and talking to him on E-mail and stuff. I want to stay in touch... but I don't know if going completely NC would be better? Has anyone ever stayed in touch with a MM/MW after the A finished? What happened? Gotta say, the A is completely over as far as I'm concerned. It's never going to restart... If we stay in touch, I'm never going agree to meet him or talk to him on the phone or anything. It's finished... but I do want to be his friend still... What do you think? I'm also worried because MM fell for me a lot harder than I did for him... and I don't know if staying in touch would be bad for him. He seems pretty confused about what he wants to do...
woe_is_me Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 If this guys friendship means more to you than your marriage then you really should just leave the marriage. i think you know in your heart of hearts though that the grass isn't greener. I'm not married and if i was i could/would never consider going behing my husbands back. I'd rather leave first because i don't understand why people in committed relationships try to sneak around and lie in the first place. Good Luck
puddleofmud Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 The emotional contact may do more damage...ending the sex doesn't neccessarily mean ending the affair. Having an emotional affair is the same. Unless you feel that you could have a friendship with he AND his wife via you AND your husband, then the friendship is inappropriate. NC is is just as much about ending the emotional connection as it is ending the sex and often the more difficult thing to do. It is certainly understandabe that you miss him but give it some time and see how you feel after a long period of NC, like a year. Everyone remains curious about what happens with someone they must leave behind; but giving it time will help you think more clearly. Best wishes to you and stay strong.
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