hotgurl Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 Do you think your desire for a partner dies in a long term relationship? Do you think sexual long term monogomy is realistic?
justagirlforever Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 Do you think your desire for a partner dies in a long term relationship? Do you think sexual long term monogomy is realistic? Desire can cover so many aspects. Are you specifically asking about sexual desire? No, I don't think it should die. Absolutely not. And yes, I personally think it's very realistic. But define long term? 2 years or twenty years? Of course it changes over that time period. That doesn't mean that I don't ever desire anything else. But it's how we act upon those desires that is important.
Author hotgurl Posted March 21, 2007 Author Posted March 21, 2007 I was talking Sexual desire in a relationship. Long term I was thinking 6 years or more.
laRubiaBonita Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 i think desire(s) change and evolve in LTR's. and i also think a common mistake is forgetting that and expecting the relationship to remain the same as it always was. relationships should grow and evolve after time, otherwise it would be boring and monotinous.... and not because of monogomy. people grow and change with age and wisdom, so why would the relationships that they are involved in?
Aloros Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I think it's possible and realistic to have long term monogamy. I just have to look at my parents to know it's possible. They've been married for 30 years, dated five years before that, and they're still very physically affectionate with one another. I don't know how often they have sex (AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW!). They're constantly doing fun things together (they travel a great deal), are always there for one another, and always telling each other "I love you". I was in a ltr for 5.5 years, and the desire dropped off pretty quickly after the honeymoon phase. It started out 1/day at best, dropped to 1/every other day after a couple months, and in the later phases of our relationship it dropped to about 1/week. He had a very handsome face, but I was never very attracted to his body. It probably didn't help that I just didn't feel I could connect to him mentally or emotionally very well. I'm in another ltr right now, which is at nearly 9 months, and the desire hasn't dropped off one bit. Sex is at least 1/day, and it's still very tear-your-clothes-off. I'm extremely attracted to him, and feel much more connected to him mentally and emotionally. I don't have any desire to look elsewhere, because I already have exactly what I want (and besides, I'm getting it at least 1/day, do I really need MORE sex?). I feel like desire is sustainable in the right relationship. I think it takes maturity (and I think a little "shopping around" beforehand doesn't hurt, so you appreciate what you've got) and some work to keep things fun and exciting. I also think it's easier to feel desire for your partner when your relationship is running smoothly. So, yes, I do think sexual long term monogamy is realistic. I think it's difficult, because you have to find the right person, you have to keep your relationship running smoothly, and you have to keep things fun and exciting. Besides, if my parents can have it, why not everyone else?
Starry-eyed Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 I have a related question: does the thrill and turn-on and excitement of kissing a new person that you really like eventually go away and kissing gets boring? You know how when you're starting a relationship with someone you've really lusted over and you can just kiss and make out for hours and not get bored or tired or anything? Does that eventually go away and you stop all the french kissing and fun kissing? It did in my marriage, and I'm not sure if that was just my marriage or inevitable in all LTRs. Thanks.
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