Guest Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 What happens when you realise that your SO is really not much more than a room mate. We're good companions, and we have made a good home and brought up a daughter, we're not in debt, and we live a good life. In many senses we have a successful relationship but what happened to all the kisses and cuddles and the longing when we were apart ? He could just be a room mate and we just happen to hang out together at the wekends. I don't love him or hate him in fact I almost feel nothing towards him. He's just there and always has been - well for tha last 20 years anyway. Is this just being comfortable or is it taking eacg other for granted? Maybe this is what happens when you hit the big five-oh? LOL
Ladyjane14 Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 What happens when you realise that your SO is really not much more than a room mate. You can do one of three things. Either you can take that realization as a wake up call, and CHOOSE to reinvest actively in the relationship, setting goals, and developing REAL emotional intimacy. Or... you can get a divorce. Or... you can learn to love the status quo.
Gunny376 Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 You've reached a point in life and in your marriage where you need to re-align your priorties. I'd look into Dr, Hellen Kreidmen's "Light His Fire" and "Light His Fire" programs (Goggle) and Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue" The answers you seek lie within yourself.
sumdude Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I feel that romance doesn't just happen but is created. It's easy when you first meet because you're both a mystery to each other and learning who the other is. Plus you're on the big chemical high of new love and the physical side of it. You also do all sorts of things to impress and romance this new person in your life. Then you have the business of getting married. Having and raising the kids and all that entails. Buying and selling homes, moving etc etc. One day i guess all thoise goals are met or generally in hand and then what? Now you know everything about them and vice versa, where's the adventure then? Create an adventure, do something new. Even if it's doing something new for yourself (of course within the boundaries of the marriage). You'll become more interesting to your partner. Change things up, if you're bored then your boring. Make an adventure, take a risk or two. Be appropriatly unpredictable (yeah sounds liike an oxymoron) but try it. Talk about new goals together etc. Find something to get excited about together. Find out if your partner feels the same way.
whichwayisup Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 You gotta spice it up and get your sex life going again. Make the effort to cuddle and kiss. Take a hot bath together! Go out on dates and make out in the car! You two need to get to know eachother again...Not as a mommy or a daddy, but as a husband and wife...Lovers, friends, companions.... I bet if you told your husband how you felt, and how much you want things to be exciting again, he'd JUMP at the chance to make the relationship come back to life again.
Guest Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Congratulations, your marriage works! Well I didn't expect that one !! Thanks for all your comments - I'll try some out. Probably a lot is my fault. I work full time at a stressful job and by the time the evening meal is dealt with the last thing I want to do is start being sexy. Also I need to lose some weight. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life and don't feel good about my body at the moment. If I could shift about 10 lbs (targeting the area between my waist and my knees - LOL) I'd feel much better and probably more attractive. Thanks again.
Recommended Posts