Guest Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 Perhaps someone could offer me some advice on how to deal with this mess. Partner and I have been together 22 years - many ups and downs along the way. Last year was a particularly bad year for us and we talked about splitting up almost constantly. The situation isn't helped by the fact that he is very very unhappy at work. In the middle of a very low patch with me, and a low patch at work he applied for a job abroad. At the time it seemed right - if he got it it would remove him from his current job which he hates and give us a chance of making a clean break. Now 3 months later we have gone some way to repairing our relationship. It's not fixed but it is more stable. and guess what - he has been shortlisted for the job. So what happens if he gets it? Do I encourage him to go, because I know he is SOOOO unhappy in his current job, and if so do I stay or go with him? In the past I have twice given up good jobs to help him further his career. I have recently started a very good job and have just been promoted to a grade with a salary almost as high as his. Do I give up my career again ? On a more personal note our relationship is not "fixed", just OK at the moment, but it has always cycled through good and bad. I could give up my job, move with him to another country then if it all goes wrong I could end up on my own with no job, not speaking the language etc etc. At the moment I am pretending it's not happening and I'll wait to see if he's offered the job before I worry too much. Has anyone else been here ?
Mr. Lucky Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 At the moment I am pretending it's not happening and I'll wait to see if he's offered the job before I worry too much. Has anyone else been here ? Yes, I've been there. Be aware of the fact that far away from family, friends and familiar locales, you will be even more dependent on each other for emotional support. This can have a tendency to magnify any problems you have in your relationship. Maybe if you made tentative plans to join him after he was established over there, this would allow you to see up until the last minute of his departure how things are progressing between the two of you. It also takes a certain adventuresome spirit to thrive in a foreign country (out of curiouslity, which country are we talking about?). The good news is that it can be an experience you'll remember for the rest of your life. Hope it works out... Mr. Lucky
Guest Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 It also takes a certain adventuresome spirit to thrive in a foreign country (out of curiouslity, which country are we talking about?). The good news is that it can be an experience you'll remember for the rest of your life. Hope it works out... Mr.Lucky..... He is talking about leaving UK and moving to Spain. If our relationship was more solid I would have fewer worries (really just family worries with parents getting old etc), but I am scared of ending up alone in a strange place, and a bit of me feels somewhat annoyed that this would be the third time I have had to restart my career. I'm not going to get such a responsible job when I don't speak the language (I don't count asking for beer and sandwiches as being fluent - LOL) and I don't know if I could do nothing and be a "stay at home wife". Well the interview is tomorrow.....
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