CanIWhisper Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Im with a man that supposedly loves me. I try talking to him and tells me to go away and cook. He says that he's tired of me and that the sound of my voice irritates him. The worst part about this is that I don't even complain. I just try to have a great day. I have dinner cooked when he gets home, I try to be playful and nice. But he tells me to leave him alone. He tells me a few nights before that he loves me and that he really cares about me. Then today he tells me that he doesnt want to be with me and he can't see us being together in the future. He plays lots of head games. He'll tell me one night positive things, then another night he'll tell me negative things. I dont know what he wants of me. He really hurts my feelings alot. When I have off for a day, he treats me like crap. But when I work, he treats me nicer. Then he tells me that he wants to be with me. Then other times he'll tell me to save my money because when we break up ill supposedly be prepared. He plays so many games its unbelievable. I dont know what to do anymore to turn it around. I try speaking to him about this. He tells me to go away. I need advice I need to know how to turn it around on him. please help someone.
Limerent Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 CanIWhisper, you are not alone, but I do know that with the way things are going in your life now, you probably feel like you are. He has ensnared you in a vicious game of crazy making. The best thing for you and your life is to take him up on that offer, and do save money and get out. However, I realize that this is often easier said than done. My advice, should your pride refuse you to leave, (because thats all it is, really, just your foolish pride making you stay) is to IGNORE him. IGNORE his tactics and games and attempts to draw you into whatever twisted game he has prepared that nite for his own purpose and amusement. You absolutely MUST find time for yourself during all of this, to reconnect, or he will damage you emotionally. I dont know what to do anymore to turn it around. Stop speaking to him about it. Make vague, general comments about saving money to follow his advice. Be available alot less. Dont be so fast to answer his calls. He can wait. Lord knows you have been waiting enough for him. Basically, mimick his exact behaviours. When he tries to be loving with you, brush him off and tell him to leave you alone. Before too long, you will actually start to believe that you really dont love him anymore, thus making it easier when you leave him. Fake it till you make it, as they say. As I said before, you could always just leave him, instead wasting your time getting back at him or trying to figure him out, because really, when you finally get your head together, you will realize that him hurting you emotionally does not, in any way, shape or form equal love. You do realize that the actions of this man (your boyfriend) is NOT healthy and is not the way a loving man who really loves his girlfriend should act? How old are you and he, and how long have you been together?
Miss_Bee Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 :( Aww it's horrible that he treats you this way. I think that you'd be much better off with out this guy. He sounds like he's miserable in general, and has no clue about what he wants. You'll be much happier being single or finding that special someone that treats you the way that you deserve.
Dadaal Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 CanIwhisper... this man sounds like the husband of my friend who has been treating her like that. She has finally found out that he has been cheating on her. Something is not going well with your BF/Husband.
LoveLace Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 You should absolutely do EVERYTHING Limerent said to do. Ignore him. Start preparing to get out. And if he ever threatens you or touches you in any wrong way, tell someone. This guy is a 1st class jerk. A good man would not cut you down and then say he loves you and go back and forth like that. A good man would not cut you down, period. This man will never change this behavior for you or anyone else. There is nothing you can do to make this better. There is no hope for him. He will be this way to the next woman he dates, I guarantee it. You sound like a person who sees the good things in life, but he does not, and you are way above him as a person. He feeds off of these games he plays with you. He gets a kick out of tearing a person down, while you just let him. You let him because you know he will turn around and say he loves you, etc...you are too accepting of this like its just a bad habit of his. But its not a habit, it's who he is, and you deserve to have a guy who wants to make you happy all the time.
The Confused Guy Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I'm a guy and even i think this guys an idiot. I've only thought i was in love once, and i NEVER treated my girlfriend in that way. Even when being playfully mean. I try talking to him and tells me to go away and cook. I said that to a GF once, as a complete joke, otherwise its just plain disrespectful. This guy is a 1st class jerk. A good man would not cut you down and then say he loves you and go back and forth like that. A good man would not cut you down, period. LoveLace is completely right, and it goes both ways for women too (IMHO)
Trialbyfire Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 Seriously. Hopefully you can get yourself financially secure enough or have family that will help you to walk away. The sooner you get away, the less damage he will do. As previously stated, ignore him. Do not reciprocate his treatment though, simply ignore him until you can get away.
Recommended Posts