RianRiley Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Well I joined this forum just to ask this question, and judging by this, maybe I can keep using this as a source. I am a starting teacher, and have developed a two year friendship with Carter. I began to fall for him in the beginning of the second year but didn't want to say anything for risk of ruining it. However, recently I told him how I really felt. We continued fine, and very recently he has confessed that he has feelings for me as well. The problem comes in, in that he wants to wait until the summer for us to begin a relationship, since we both have the time off. I'm all of a sudden very uncomfortable with us both being aware of our feelings and him not wanting to act on it. Furthermore since we discussed our feelings, I'm dreading our normal day to day, it seems I only love him in my head when hes not around, or when we talk via instant messenger and the telephone. Now I feel that maybe I don't want to pursue the relationship, and maybe I have commitment phobia, as much as I despise that term. Will these uncertain feelings pass or is this a sign that maybe I was just confused? Rian PS: This has never happened before, the instant regret and dreading part I mean. Thanks in advance
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Is it possible that you've created him into something he is not? Maybe that it's the fantasy of him more than the reality. I don't think that this has to do with commitment issues on your part. I would also wonder why he wants to wait until the summer to begins a relationship, that just seems odd to me.
phyrespryte Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 Maybe it's the whole waiting thing? It must be awkward talking to him in person and not being able to act on your feelings. Especially knowing that he feels the same, but wants to wait a couple of months.
Author RianRiley Posted March 21, 2007 Author Posted March 21, 2007 He claims he wants to wait until the summer because thats when we both have off work being teachers and all. Also, the making him into something more in my head thing sounds actually like what it is, however, how do I merge my mental image of him, with the reality?
Guest Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 First of all it is your right to change your mind.....I have the same deal going for me. I worked with a teacher for two years. We had the whole little eye contact, giddyness, well you know. The Hosp. (children's psych. Hosp.) where I worked closed last week and he went to work at another campus (he is a Sp. Ed. teacher). We started talking and he let me know that he had been wanting to ask me out for a long time but was in a realtionship. Now, minus the rel. , minus the fact that we work together and it is now spring break.....he wanted to hook-up. I had no clue. It threw me off , but I said ...HEY, why not. He asked me if I wanted to go on a road trip (since it is Spring Break). Like a dumb-a** I said "sure". I went to his house on Saturday to checkout the 2006 BMW 1200 GS moter bike we would be going on....and he wanted me to check-out his "digs"... SOOOO. I went to his place....Then it hit me...he looked better in the classroom, his house was a pig stye etc...... I'm here OH MY GOD, how do I get out of this ? The road trip is today at 12:00. I called him and left a message..."Theres been a change of plans"... Haven't heard back. NO PROBLEM. If you are arlready feeling creepy about this....with your teacher friend. Just let it slide, don't bring it up again. It was a blessing that he wanted to wait. Do you know the song "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brookes ? Well... this could be just that . He is probably a flake with a messy dirty house anyway LOL..... Guest
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