princessa Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Why? They're so much work, it takes so much effort to open up to somebody, to get to know them for who they are, to compromise and make sacrifices... and none of it is ever guaranteed to be returned to you. What's the point of even looking for a needle in a stack of hay, when most of the people here say that we should be whole and complete by ourselves in the first place, that we shouldn't be needing anybody to be happy anyways. So why bother trying if all we need to be happy is ourselves? Why bother making sacrifices for nothing?
Woggle Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Because no person is an island by themselves. I am big believer in the fact that you should be happy without a relationship but when you find a good one it is a great thing.
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I dont' know....I really don't know. Maybe cause many women require some type of relationship before a man can boink her. Men aren't that into relationships as much as woman is. I would rather have casual sex with hundreds, if not, thousands of womans and just have them around when its convenient for me....such as a date for a wedding or soemthing.
polywog Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Because of the wonderful gift that love with another person, healthy love when we bring our best selves into it and meet their best self, brings. It's not what makes us whole, we do that ourselves by being the best human we can be, but it makes something bigger that two people.
KittenMoon Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I'm not sure, but I think there's a natural need for companionship and mates- afterall, humans have been having romantic relationships of some degree pretty much since our species emerged. I think it could be easily argued that relationships have as much biological basis as sex does, and just like sex, presents it own set of challenges and pitfalls, in addition to benefits.
Author princessa Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 Then how is it that we're supposed to be complete without anybody in our lives?
KittenMoon Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Then how is it that we're supposed to be complete without anybody in our lives? I don't think we're suposed to be complete without ANYBODY in our lives. I do think everyone needs people. But we've adopted this social mindset that a romantic relationship is needed. But in reality, some people NEED family, or friends more than romantic partners. Some people need romantic partners more than friends or family. Etc Etc. IMO, I think everyone needs to identify what kinds of relationships they need in their lives, and to what extent.
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I'm not sure, but I think there's a natural need for companionship and mates- afterall, humans have been having romantic relationships of some degree pretty much since our species emerged. actually thats incorrect KM...the idea of the relationship based upon love and romance is only about 150 years old. Before that people had relationships out of necessity and survival. Then how is it that we're supposed to be complete without anybody in our lives? I'm pretty complete by myself...
Author princessa Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 I don't think we're suposed to be complete without ANYBODY in our lives. I do think everyone needs people. But we've adopted this social mindset that a romantic relationship is needed. But in reality, some people NEED family, or friends more than romantic partners. Some people need romantic partners more than friends or family. Etc Etc. IMO, I think everyone needs to identify what kinds of relationships they need in their lives, and to what extent. But the whole concept of family is that you move out of your home and build your own family with a romantic partner.
KittenMoon Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 actually thats incorrect KM...the idea of the relationship based upon love and romance is only about 150 years old. Before that people had relationships out of necessity and survival. Then why do stories of love date back thousands of years? It may have been less common in societies where survival was more difficult, but it was still very prevalent. 150 years?! Please! Every culture on earth has long-standing stories of love and romance.
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Then why do stories of love date back thousands of years? the concept of love has always been around but back then few people had relationships based upon love. It may have been less common in societies where survival was more difficult, but it was still very prevalent. Its hard to worry about love when you have nothing to eat and you're all covered with shyt. Think Maslowe's heirarchy of needs. Go back to Psych 101 KM
LoveLace Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 There aren't many great things in life that don't require putting a lot of work into them. It's work to work, it's work to raise kids, it's work to make time for all the people in life that you love. But we do it because its life. Living a satisfactory life in general, is work. Of course, we can choose not to do any of these things, including relationships...perhaps your point is that relationships are just EXTRA work; well, yes they are, if you choose to be in one. It can be stressful and emotional like anything else. And your right that the amount of effort can be rediculous without knowing for sure you'll get rewarded enough. But there's only one way to live and learn.... We are humans with natural desires for love and companionship, so we do our best to find whatever/whoever meets those desires in the way that suits us.
KittenMoon Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 the concept of love has always been around but back then few people had relationships based upon love. Only because it was inconvinient within the society. Any society where it was , romantic relationships did exist. Its hard to worry about love when you have nothing to eat and you're all covered with shyt. Think Maslowe's heirarchy of needs. Go back to Psych 101 KM There are plenty of ancient, proserous societies- ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome being the biggest that pop into mind. And these places all have dozens, if not hundreds of love stories in their culture, not to mention gods and goddesses of love. And love "magic". I've researched love spells from dozens of cultures that go back thousands of years- all focused on finding true love. I dare say love was likely more appreciated back then, when it was rarer. But I don't really think it was as rare as we might imagine. So go back to History and Mythology 101.
Author princessa Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 I guess my biggest struggle is.. Once we've established that we love somebody.. we're kind of stuck trying to make things work with them because that's what you do when you love somebody. You don't abandon them, you try to be understanding, you try to sacrifice and make compromises. You can love somebody and it can become detrimental to you for a period of time if there are unfortunate circumstances and because of the whole concept of love within these circumstances. What's good loving somebody if in the end you get nothing? Why bother looking for love if by this same concept you might end up in the exact same situation where you give and sacrifice and remain patient and get nothing in return?
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I guess my biggest struggle is.. Once we've established that we love somebody.. we're kind of stuck trying to make things work with them because that's what you do when you love somebody. You don't abandon them, you try to be understanding, you try to sacrifice and make compromises. You can love somebody and it can become detrimental to you for a period of time if there are unfortunate circumstances and because of the whole concept of love within these circumstances. What's good loving somebody if in the end you get nothing? Why bother looking for love if by this same concept you might end up in the exact same situation where you give and sacrifice and remain patient and get nothing in return? thats really just the female point of view of love and relationships. For me, once the reltionship stops working for me then I'm gone baby!
KittenMoon Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 thats really just the female point of view of love and relationships. Translation: "That's really just the non-alphamale view of love and relationships."
Author princessa Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 For me, once the reltionship stops working for me then I'm gone baby! And by "stops working" you mean when it goes limp?
VirtualInsanity Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I am big believer in the fact that you should be happy without a relationship but when you find a good one it is a great thing. Well put.
KittenMoon Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I think what it comes down to is three things: 1) Knowing what you want (or don't want) out of a relationship. 2) Finding a person who fulfills your wants, and vice versa. 3) Putting in the time and effort to keep it working (or knowing the right times to end things in the case of people who don't want long term relationships). But all of this is WAY easier said than done.
polywog Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I'm pretty complete by myself... ....except that you need LS to complete you!
Pyro Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Because no person is an island by themselves. I am big believer in the fact that you should be happy without a relationship but when you find a good one it is a great thing. Because of the wonderful gift that love with another person, healthy love when we bring our best selves into it and meet their best self, brings. It's not what makes us whole, we do that ourselves by being the best human we can be, but it makes something bigger that two people. Good responses. Through trial and tribulation I have made it to the point of where I would be able to manage on my own, but I like sharing my life with one other special someone.
Rooster_DAR Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I'm not sure, but I think there's a natural need for companionship and mates- afterall, humans have been having romantic relationships of some degree pretty much since our species emerged. I think it could be easily argued that relationships have as much biological basis as sex does, and just like sex, presents it own set of challenges and pitfalls, in addition to benefits. It's called "human" pair bonding. I also believe it's biological with some evolved emotional need to connect. Like animals, we are driven to procreate just like any other living organism on this planet (okay except for some asexual species), there is no doubt in my mind. Unlike animals, humans developed a higher emotional aptitude and were evolving mentally into culturing. Some people thinks it's purely cultural, but I think it's a combination of biological evolution coupled with cultural instincts. Cheers!
polywog Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Good responses. Through trial and tribulation I have made it to the point of where I would be able to manage on my own, but I like sharing my life with one other special someone. Riddler, you were born to love ! You're such a sweetie-pie, and your gf is lucky! Unless there is some evil side to you that doesn't appear here on LS!
Pyro Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Riddler, you were born to love ! You're such a sweetie-pie, and your gf is lucky! Unless there is some evil side to you that doesn't appear here on LS! Thanks. You hang in there. You'll end up finding a great guy. Aren't we all evil to an extent? Some just way more than others.
polywog Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 Thanks. You hang in there. You'll end up finding a great guy. Aren't we all evil to an extent? Some just way more than others. Golly, I hope you did not take this as a come-on! I was just sayin'....complimentin'.... Anyhow, LS would not be so much fun of we all didn't have that Evil side!
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