confusedandempty Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Hey guys - Tomorrow there are officially 5 months since we broke up - after only about 6 month relationship. In a week there will be 5 months since I've last heard from her except from this one time I met her in a bar. I made really stupid accusations about her being seeing someone else after we broke up, very stupid, because she had already made up her mind and I wasn't gonna change that. She was my first love and I was the longest relationship she's ever been in (me being 23 and she being 25). What hurt the most was the fact that the girl I loved so much broke up with me, and hasn't even bothered to contact at all since we broke up. Right after the breakup I was really fragile and could easily break down when I saw a picture of her. My life was a living hell until new years. It ruined my college semester and I just didn't wanna live anymore. In the middle of January I decided that I wasn't gonna think about her anymore. That meant, no visiting MySpace or blog or anything. I finally had realised that "what I don't know won't hurt me". It was hard to begin with, but as time went the longing for checking her pages disappeared. Until I saw a birthday comment from her on one of my friends MySpace. I checked hers only to see that she is still single and seeing that not that much has changed in her life. For months I've avoided her, by not going to places I know there is a possibility she might be at. It has gone well and I have only met her once and both of us party a lot. Well, why am I back here? I've been thinking about her alot tonight. Still it has been different thinking than last time I visited her MySpace. Last time I sat shattered in my recliner shaking for 2 hours. Now I've been calm and just though things through. And I realised that I miss her a lot. Not necessarily as a lover, but also as a friend. Therefore I've been thinking about calling her and see if she wants to go for a coffee or stuff. I really care for my beautiful princess and maybe she has been missing me to and been to stubborn to contact me (just like me). I've been thinking about it a lot ... did it fail because both of us were too stubborn? What do you guys think? Should I give her a call or am I just being insane. There is nothing happening in my love life after the last girl I dated for few weeks told me that it wasn't gonna happen. Also, most of my friends are having babies now and everything seems to be sooo hopeless ... at least in my life. Give me some advice. Some of you must be more experienced than me My god ... I miss my little princess, she is so beautiful
bchlvr Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Dreams about our ex's can be really powerful leaving us with a strong sense of longing and wanting to connect. At least that has happened to me several times over the past year. The problem with seeking information on myspace is that it feeds the fire of desire. It interferes with detachment which is the major goal for us ex's to achieve. There are so many things post breakup, running into the ex, seeing mutual friends, finding out information about them via internet or other people, that can make it tempting to connect in some way. I guess that's part of the road of recovery. But it's these times in particular that NC in any form is so important. I sounds like youre making a lot of progress and refraining from myspace will keep that progress in motion.
oppath Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 If you use firefox, you can go the the homepage, and under add-ons do a search for "block", to block webpages. Install one of them and you can enter her myspace page, blog, or whatever so you can't see her webpage. I've done this with my ex and her friends and it is helping. The fact that you refer to her as a beautiful princess to me means you want her back. That is not going to happen. On the other hand, perhaps a friendly meetup will do you good, and seeing her, you might not feel anything other than physical attraction. Your call.
Author confusedandempty Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 Thanks guys for your replies. I guess I was just really emotional last night. Still I could feel a huge difference between last night and the night I last checked her MySpace. Then I felt devastated afterwards, but now I just relived some good memories. I've been doing pretty good for the last weeks and I guess those setbacks are necessary once in a while, but I can fell that the time between them gets longer and longer. I wasn't all that happy in the relationship. She has some intimacy issues (hence the fact that 6 months relationship was her longest ever, her being 25 years old). She also got a sister who often became jellous and prevented us from developing. However my life kind of sucks right now. My friends barelly call me anymore, three of them are happy in their relationships and are having a baby this summer. While they seem all happy, I don't seem to be able to keep a woman around me for longer than 2 months. It gets really frustrating in a while, but I don't just one get together with some woman. She must be special. I guess that all takes time And yeah ... I'm defenetly not gonna call my ex. A person who walks away and didn't even bother to senda a Merry Christmas text message to a guy she claimed she loved definetly isn't worth my time
Jocelyn Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Thats good that you decided not to call her. I personally believe that it is practically impossible to be friends with someone who you had that type of relationship with. It's just not ever the same...it gets weird.
norajane Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 5 months of mourning for a 6 month relationship? Pretty soon, your mourning will have been longer than the actual relationship. It's time to get a grip and ACCEPT that you two do not belong together and WILL NEVER be together. Seriously, stop all the checking, do not look back. You've done plenty of looking back and analyzing and wishing. Accept that it's over so you can truly move on.
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