hunee_bunny Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Im having major problems in my relationship with my bf. We have found that we are constantly fighting and its become a daily habit now. We have talked about it and ways we would keep it to a minimum but it hasnt seemed to work. We tried 'biting our tongues' when it came to things we didnt like the other to do - which didnt last long We tried talking about our feelings - which didnt work because it was more about me talking about my feelings and my bf wouldnt have much to say in return. We tried time apart - which didnt really work because we love each other so much its so hard to stay away. We tend to fight over things such as certain profanity he will tend to use in a conversation with me or lack of attention when I need it or me hitting him either out of play (which isnt that hard) or me hitting him because he has offended me in some way from something (ive never hit him in the face, just arms, etc.) I have no idea why he hates me hitting him but i have tried to keep it to a minimum now. We also tend to fight over his lack of openess with me, we both agreed in the beginning of our relationship that if we were to get anywhere we needed communication. I was never open with anybody in my past but I am with my bf because he is worth it and I make the effort but when we have arguments he tends to lash out his feelings then... when hes angry, which i dont get??? I always tell him if hes got something to say to me, just say it and we'll work through it but he always shows some kind of resentment towards me in arguments, it feels like hes scecretly thinking how dare I argue with him when he feels that way - how was i suppose to know he was feeling that way before the argument??? I also have almost no trust in my bf as I have caught him out on some lies before, nothing huge like infedelity but a lie is still a lie and we have also talked about this subject so many times, i cant even count how many times any more and yet he still lies to me and whats worse is he lies over little things that dont even mean much to me and telling me the truth would not have been a big deal. I love my bf with all my heart and it kills me not having trust in him and for us to fight so much! We have both thought that maybe breaking up would be better for our peace of mind in the long run but we both dont want that, we love each other so much. There have been so many times where I just thought of ending the relationship but then i think about all the good times we had but now i can barely remember the good times we had and im scared that it will come to a point where breaking up will come into my head again and i wont have any positives to fall back on. We both have recently agreed that I would watch what I do and he would watch what he says but just yesterday I caught him out on a lie and it didnt hurt me at first as Ive gotten that use to it but then as a little time went by i realised how serious it was and i got upset and i spoke calmly to my bf about it and all he did was have his head down like a little boy, he also told me he didnt know how to respond coz if he said sorry it wont happen again he knew i wouldnt believe him, which is sadly true. He has said it that many times its lost all meaning. He told me every time he lies he does it so Im not dissappointed with him, i explained that i wouldnt of been as dissappointed if i had of known the truth. I also told him that whatever it is that makes him lie to me, that he should figure out what that is and fix it and if he cant... ill help him. Theres one thing I am sure of in our relationship and that there is no shortage of love and adoration for each other. The last thing we both want is to break up, we want to get married and have kids and I just dont see that happening if we continue to fight like we do. It feels like i really am going crazy, its like im losing my mind over my bf and i dont want this anymore, i want a happy, good relationship. Please help.
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