Kwo-ne'-she Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 -If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. -If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. -Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. -Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. -Slower is better. -Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. -If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. - Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. -Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. -The only person you can control in a relationship is you. -Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? -Always have your own set of friends separate from his. -Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. -Never let a man know everything. -He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. -Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or a better job. -Do not make him into a "quasi-god". -He is a man, nothing more nothing less. -Never let a man define who you are. -Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. -A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. -All men are NOT dogs. -You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. -You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about "baggage". Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship -You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. -Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be "Mr. Right". -Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. -Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. -Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. -Keep him in your radar but get to know others. -Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. -They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 I completely agree with this except for one part, maybe its a typo????? -All men are NOT dogs. Kidding ! Where exactly to you find men that are not of the K9 variety?
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted March 19, 2007 Author Posted March 19, 2007 LOL I had posted this in another area, and someone suggested I repost it here, since some wouldn't see it there.
YoMomma Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 - -They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. Wow... these words are so true! Thanks for sharing....
puddleofmud Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Wow! Such a wonderful post! Thank you. PM sometimes, as it would seem you possibly speak my Native tongue? Best wishes to you!
BeenAround_N_Back Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I wish I had known all these when I was 16 years old! It would have saved me a world of heartache!!
LaughMachine Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Even if knowing these " rules " at 16. You know at that age nothing will stop you, especially since 16 is usually where the first love enters. Well nothing ever stopped me from making a complete fool out of my self for over 2 years haha glad I can see clearly now:)
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 i wonder what the list "Things a Man Should kNow" would look like...
Izzar Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 -If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. -If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. -Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. -Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. -Slower is better. -Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. -If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends."A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. - Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. -Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. -The only person you can control in a relationship is you. -Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? -Always have your own set of friends separate from his. -Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. -Never let a man know everything. -He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. -Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or a better job. -Do not make him into a "quasi-god". -He is a man, nothing more nothing less. -Never let a man define who you are. -Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. -A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. -All men are NOT dogs. -You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. -You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about "baggage". Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship -You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. -Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be "Mr. Right". -Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. -Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. -Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. -Keep him in your radar but get to know others. -Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare. -They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! I typed it up & made copies. I'm giving a copy to all my friends who don't visit LS.
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! I typed it up & made copies. I'm giving a copy to all my friends who don't visit LS. LOL You're welcome. I recieved it in an email, and so many of the things really hit home.
LuckyStar26 Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 i wonder what the list "Things a Man Should kNow" would look like... PLEASE PLEASE write one AM, I'd love to read it
stockmos Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 i wonder what the list "Things a Man Should kNow" would look like... The same list with the sexes reversed.
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted March 20, 2007 Author Posted March 20, 2007 i wonder what the list "Things a Man Should kNow" would look like... um.....I thought men already knew everything.
alphamale Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 PLEASE PLEASE write one AM, I'd love to read it ok ok LS26: - A woman's nature is to be deceitful and cunning therefore never let your guard down. - When aunt flo comes to visit leave the house and do not return for four days
Virgo1982 Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 LOL I had posted this in another area' date=' and someone suggested I repost it here, since some wouldn't see it there.[/quote'] This is one of the best posts I've seen here. Good job! It took some time for me to realize that I have my own flaws that draw me to the narcissist. If I fix my own problems, and follow your guidelines, there's hope :-)
RecordProducer Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I absolutely loved the list. However, I wouldn't be known as RP - the greatest (bitch), but not the only, if I didn't have something to add or correct. (By the way, do we get negative points for calling ourselves bad names? ) I agree with everything, except for the following statements: -Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. Actually I read recently that majority of couples who have experienced crisis and wanted to get divorced, within five years admitted to be very happy together. I know several couples like that myself. Thinking of separation as the first resort instead of the last is sometimes avoiding to work on problems; it's taking the line of least resistance. If a job frustrates you, sometimes it's better to put extra effort into climbing to a better position instead of quitting the job and going for the same position at another company. Same is with marriages: if you refuse to work on the problem, you will face fiasco one after another with everyone, because no one is perfect. Of course, this doesn't apply to individuals who are not relationship material. -The only person you can control in a relationship is you. I disagree. We see many couples where one is controlled by the other. It's not words of persuasion that can change someone; it's the action of manipulation. Manipulation can be good or bad. An example of good manipulation is: I will shower my wife with affection so that she isn't jealous of my daughter from my previous marriage. Or: I will discuss business with my husband and pretend to be interested in it so that he feels close to me. Unselfish actions for selfish motives, but the ultimate result is - a better relationship. -Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or a better job. I think people tend to return the "favor" more often than not. They also tend to feel emotionally strongly connected and bonded with the person who thinks they are great and special. We desperately want to be special to people around us, but frankly, not too many people make us feel special. So if there is one person in this world (other than your parents and children) who makes you feel special... how can you possibly not love them to death? Those who take advantage of your admiration to play with your heart are rotten - this doesn't mean you should change your behavior; it rather means that you should choose whom you admire. Also, don't mix being submissive out of weakness and insecurity with showing someone how precious they are to you. -A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.Please define "allow." I think only a woman who is financially and emotionally independent can wave with statements such as "I am not going to put up with this." Otherwise, you can scream, cry, beg, threaten, withhold sex, cheat, detach yourself... but nothing will help if you're not able to leave and your partner is a jerk. Whenever you complain about something, the other party is thinking: "...or else what?" So you better have a prepared answer to that, at least a silent and self-understood one.
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted March 21, 2007 Author Posted March 21, 2007 Please define "allow." I think only a woman who is financially and emotionally independent can wave with statements such as "I am not going to put up with this." Otherwise, you can scream, cry, beg, threaten, withhold sex, cheat, detach yourself... but nothing will help if you're not able to leave and your partner is a jerk. Allow ~ to "let someone" treat you that way. And, people can leave, a lot of times they just don't. I walked out with less than a hundred dollars, my car, and my clothes. If you are sick of being abused, you do what you have to do, and make it work. I did it on my own, but there are plenty of programs out there to help women get out of bad situations & improve their lives. Interesting thread. I never expected a debate about it.
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