berrynice1 Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Hi everyone I need some advice. This is a long but interesting story so please bare with me. I met a person on line in Sept 06. We chatted for a few weeks before I seen her picture. When I did see her picture, I realized I knew her. So immediately I told her and then she knew who I was too. This is where it gets quite interesting, the first time I met this girl about 6 years ago it was when I found her and my ex messing around. So after revealing who I was she decided she still wanted to get to know me through her eyes. So we chatted daily, talked on the phone and finally we met up at New Years. We connected and it was great..... better than I anticipated. We seen each other every second weekend for a few months after that. This was a long distant relationship, but was only going to be until July 07. Well within weeks this girl was telling me she was falling in love with me and things were going good. She also told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her. One thing that I need to mention is that this ex and I both have a history with my (married ex) .... I am going through a divorce but it is not settled yet but will be by April this year. It has been 18 months since my (married ex and me broke up) and it was one of the worst relationships I ever been in. There will never be a reconciliation! This girl that I was recently involved with is not only an ex of my (married ex) but now is friends with (my married ex) and knows how my (marriage ex treated me) so she knows the whole story about the divorce and so on....... So with everything on the table........we proceeded with our relationship and all was going well until right out of nowhere she decides to take a 180 degree turn. She started being distant with me, hardly calling or chatting with me on line. Told me it was because things were going too fast, she was really busy, her studies were a priority.....so and so on. I went to my sisters one weekend and she thought I was with my ex. The daily phone calls became every 4 day phone calls and the emails dropped significantly...not even anymore joke emails Then one day she emails me and says she thinks we should just be friends for now ....she says maybe later we can date once she is all settled in her new place which isn't until June 1st. She says there is no one else....but I am having a hard time believing that because of the drastic changes. So my question is what do I do now? Do I try to maintain a friendship and to what level? Call once a week, twice a week???? I called her last night to ask her to send me a video ....just left a message but she did not return my call.....but did email me today to say maybe she can send it to me tonight. She said she got my message but didn't get home until 8 p.m. and was SO tired as she put it that she just went to bed. What am I supposed to do? Try being friends with her ........no contact with her........I don't know what to do........if a friendship with her means to only talk to me once a month is it really worth all the ups and downs I may experience. Do I let her call me now? What I don't understand is how can someone claim to love you then a week later only want to be friends....Is this her insecurity? Am I being played? Has anyone experienced any of this? I would really appreciate some feedback and some suggestions from anyone who has tried being friends afterwards... Please need some advice on this one........by the way I am over 40 so this is not a first love
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