Guest Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Hi, I have seen a pattern with my MM. Whenever there is any fight/argument/discussion about some expectation I have from him, like he should call more or care more or even sms more , he keeps distance from me for some time after that... though not completely showing to me that he is ending it...... we work in the same office, i see that after any such heavy discussions (outside work), at work he is busy (atleast pretends to be busy to me and everyone else around...), doesnt go for coffee breaks where he might have to deal with me.. is in his cubicle most time..even smses that 'he is busy' etc and after some time gets over and i have kinda forgotten about what we had discussed (including any expectations from my side) and i try to move on with life he bounces back to usual self... to do everything to make the situation same as before. has anybody else noticed that?. when they feel OW might be wanting more, they back off, though not clearly saying that they are ending it.. and if the OW tried to find a new life for herself.. they are back into their same ways...
Izzar Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 You don't really love me, you just keep me hangin' on. Sound familiar??
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 MM want convenience, companionship and sex from the OW. They do not, however want to be emotionally accountable, or have any sort of relationship that inconveniences them in any way.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 I've read that MM expects OW to behave opposite to his wife. Complaining and nagging are the W's duty, right? The joy of the OW (I thought) was that she doesn't expect anything from him, accepts him as he is and is so very happy just to be in his presence.
Freedom Now Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 So true. I think most MM will quickly tire of an OW who "demands" too much of him. After all, he has that with his wife (and no insult to you wives out there....just stating things how HE must perceive them). Most MM want an easy, fun relationship with their OW. The last thing they want is two "wives." IMHO.
sadbuttrue Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 i agree, MM does not want to be pressured by the OW. he considers his R with OW to be free of demands. like the others said, he gets that from the W. MM, for the most part, are not trying to make the OW happy, they want to be made happy by the OW or they would not be with them. they give her just enough to keep her around, but not enough to make them feel like there might be a longterm R in the works.
GreenEyedLady Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I think it depends what kind of R you have with your MM...mine never acted like that...he knew I wouldn't put up with that and welcome him back...and if I were you, I wouldn't let him get away with treating you that way... YOU HAVE THE ULTIMATE SAY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP...USE IT! He will treat you the way you let him...
Freedom Now Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 I never received that kind of treatment in my relationship either, GEL, but I think for most MM, this is the norm. Respect is the basis for any healthy relationship. And it must be a mutual thing. Something that most OW/MM relationships lack, I think.
sadbuttrue Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 my MM hasnt behaved perfectly, but when we are alone together he treats me like there is no one else. even though we both know there is.
MrsHellFire Posted March 21, 2007 Posted March 21, 2007 It's his way of keeping you in line and preventing future "expectations" from coming out of your mouth and keeping you his sex buddy.
NeverLate Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I dont agree with the way this thread is going at all. I was a MM and I wanted my OW and I to leave our spouses and get married. In fact, we were on our way until my xOW backed out. Then it seemed the more I pushed the more she threw herself into her marriage to the point she was going on dates with her H and going on vacations etc. It was at that point I said enough is enough and went NC with her. Point is, its not only the OW who gets the short end of the stick and its not always the MM who wants the casual fling and casual sex. NL
puddleofmud Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Could be the same issue as in NOT pushing whether male or female. Self-fulfilling, ego driven, 'fantasy' R's are about non-committal scenarios. No pressure, no problems.
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