ash123 Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Hi to cut a long story short when i was 17 i met my first love through a wrong phone number and we dated for a year long distance we then split up, after that it was on and off for 5 years but we kept parting due to the distance, im now 24 and hes 27 and we are trying one last time. He came up to see me last weekend and after 2 years of not seeing him i was very nervous and worried that it would be akward but it wasnt, it was great i was so comfortable with him it was like he had never been out my life.He is coming up again next weekend and i cant wait im really excited. I had been with other guys but it was never the same. My main problems are that im worried it wont work out again has anyone got any tips on how to make long distance last? also i havent told my mum that im seeing him again because i think she will go mad at me because we have tried before and it hasnt worked, i know im 24 and its up to me what i do but i feel guilty when he is here because we have to sneak around. Just another point to add when he left last weekend i was going to txt him and tell him i feel like we are soul mates but i didnt i thought he would think i was silly, but half hour later he actually txt me and said he thought we were soul mates we always txt what the others thinking.. anyway i just want advice on how to deal with my mum and how to make it work and also does he sound like my soulmate, i mean we still love each other and have that spark after all that time and being with other people.
catrocks Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Maintaining a long distance relationship takes a lot of determination. You didn't say what caused you to break up those other times, but I wonder if it was to do with communication? I'm not sure what to tell you since you might already know anything I do say about distance, but I'll give it a go anyway Communication and trust are the keys. You need to be able to be open and honest about things. It's also important to maintain contact with each other at least once a day - if you can't call every day you could email, write him a letter before bed, talk on msn or skype... basically it's important to talk about what you did that day just like you would if you were physically together. Trust is another key, because you can't know where he is all the time (even in long distance, you can't know that). So, as in any other relationship you have to be able to trust him and not freak out if he goes to a bar with friends who are girls. I have been in my relationship for 3 and a half years, 2 years of which have been long distance. I have heard so many success stories, and it's nice to know that if you truly want to be together, distance doesn't matter, and it's not forever, even if it seems like it is. As for your mum, perhaps you could break it gently, like "oh mum guess who I heard from the other day?" and the next week "so he came up to see me, we got on really well". At the end of the day, she's your mum and she is just looking out for you. If you have been hurt by this guy before then it's understandable that she's wary. He will have to earn her trust. She loves you and if it's meant to be with him and it works out this time she will come around and understand. You just need to give her time and show her that it's different this time. Just out of curiosity, how far away do you live from each other? I hope you manage to work things out this time
thatmatt Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 You two have been on and off for 5 years, take a look at why that is. Does school, work, etc keep one person too busy for a relationship, do either of you get bored, is there much fighting? It's different for everyone, and communication is key. To a certain extent, in a Long Distance relationship it's best to be able to see an end to the distance, when you two can physically be together permantly. You've known this guy for 5-6 years, so you two obviously have history and some sort of connection. Take what has already happened, and what things went wrong, what went right, and apply it now if you want it to work. Relationships in a way are like an economy, the best way to prevent a sudden crash is to look closely at trends throughout the relationship, good trends and bad trends, and especially since this has been long term (5 years), you will be able to determine what are trends and isolated incidents.
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