djmariah Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Hello. Just for a little background first: 9 years ago I lived in the big city and did pretty much anyone and anything I wanted. I had a few boyfriends and was a heavy meth user. I became pregnant and moved to the smaller city to rebuild my life. Fast forward 8 years later. I have not done any drugs or anything. S topped partying, got a full time job (which I still have) and raised my boy. I have not dated anyone or even looked to talk to anyone of the opposite gender! I think I kind of put myself on probation and dedicated my life to my son and job. So, to the point, I am turning 33 this month and I can't stop thinking about a couple of guys that I used to be with in big city. I have graphic sexual dreams about them and when I do it stays with me all day. sometimes longer. I can't stop thinking about sex all the time! For years I told myself that I don't need anyone, that I didn't deserve to because of what I had done before. I used my sexuality freely and without care and this is my way of punishing myself now. I really don't want to go out or date anyone. I don't have time for other people's drama and don't want to put myself out there just to be hurt, blah blah blah............ I think I just need to vent right now. But boy am I freakin HORNY!
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