Ripples Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I've just completed my therapy sessions, my counsellor and I are very pleased that I am to assuming responsibility for my life once more, thank you for your consideration, it wasn't expected. So, your argument "no one can take anything that is not offered to them" wasn't universal. But if that's the case, then the OP can't be taking something that hasn't been offered to her, can she? Seems that you're very bitter Chapter2, I would like to extend the same courtesy you offered me; I'm sure you would benefit from counselling.
Ladyjane14 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Self respect is never allowing him access to my body again. And never allowing him access to ME again. He lost that priviledge. And I am certain, that with this action, his respect for me would GROW. It is clearly obvious that the original poster has lost his respect once again. Self respect is maintaining one's dignity. And that behavior is not dignified. That's your opinion, and not mine... or apparently the OP's. Sorry, but you don't get to define "self-respect" for all of us. I have to wonder if you're basing your opinion of the assumption that the ex-husband is reaping a greater benefit than the OP. I'm assuming that she's getting what she wants off of him, not the other way around.
Chapter2 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 There can't be another thread where the tables have turned so drastically! The ex OW is defending monogamy and the BS is condoning sleeping with a MM... Amazing.
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 It just dawned on me... And this has to be a first on LS... The BS's are condoning infidelity and the OW are defending monogamy. How satirical is this????
Ruby Tuesday Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I am a BW. There is no perfect justice (ever) for the BW except for karmic justice, but this one comes pretty damn close to it as it gets. I'm sure every affair has it's down side, but I like sara and I think she is pretty cool. I like LadyJane too. I agree kids would totally rather see mom and dad together. My kids remember alot of things from the affair like seeing daddy kissing OW but they were too little to understand. There have been people here who have had affairs for lesser reasons than sara. Everybody makes a choice. They followed their feelings despite everything they risked. So once in awhile we BS also take a chance and follow our feelings down the yellow brick road. I am happy for sara that there is something that she has with her ex that can never be broken. Something that can never be replaced or taken away. I believe in that. I understand what youre saying about morals because honor is something that is very important to me and I don't approve of affairs. But after being a BW, I guess the way I would look at it is this woman broke into her life and took it from her (in just this way) so why not reverse the roles in some kind of freaky friday thing where she could be the OW and have the control? The OW in my situation was so smug and so haughty with me after d-day. She thought she had my life in her hands like play doh when the affair forced me to seperate. It got really bad for me. I truly struggled with this and continue to do so to this day. Yes my husband was half responsible but she "helped" him all the way and earned her place as his trusty sidekick. Imagine how scary it was for me that this woman knew about me and my life and was cunning and manipulative to stay hidden for a year. She knew all my faults and played on it. She knew about our seperation and plans for divorce. Gave him legal and marital advice too while also a mistress. Thats the big joke. When my husband came back to me, I knew their A was over before she did. It was a crossroads really. To stay independant or should you risk more and go back to where you were last year and take that chance? I'm just going to come right out and tell you that I was the OOW for three days. Well I guess I was supposed to leave and divorce him and they would live happily ever after but it didn't work out that way. I think it was that jeopardy that made him realize what he had taken for granted for so many years. I loved my husband and I didnt get the chance to turn it off like he did. There were alot of unresolved feelings I had inside me and my history revolved around him because we grew up together. To me the OW was a stranger but she involved herself in just such a way (with the kids and all) that made it more than just an affair. The xOW had even been in my house. She left some of her stuff here and I threw it away in the garbage. She actually wrote my husband wanting her sexy nightrobe back. Yeah I want my three years back too, but neither is going to happen. Not all childhoods are golden. Papa bear put me and the baby bears through a lot, but this is how it ends because if goldilocks ever comes back to our cottage again looking for her nighty I'm going to bite her on the ass and give her rabies. grrrr... lolz. I can't blame sara for wanting a part of her life back, even if it is just for a little while. You have my blessings, sara and I hope you find your happy ending. A frog could always be a prince in disguise.
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I've just completed my therapy sessions, my counsellor and I are very pleased that I am to assuming responsibility for my life once more, thank you for your consideration, it wasn't expected. So, your argument "no one can take anything that is not offered to them" wasn't universal. But if that's the case, then the OP can't be taking something that hasn't been offered to her, can she? Seems that you're very bitter Chapter2, I would like to extend the same courtesy you offered me; I'm sure you would benefit from counselling. It's counseling...note the spelling. Sorry, can't help it.
Chapter2 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 No, I actually am not bitter. Plus, just like LJ said, my difference in opinion doesn't make me bitter... :D :D I've just completed my therapy sessions, my counsellor and I are very pleased that I am to assuming responsibility for my life once more, thank you for your consideration, it wasn't expected. So, your argument "no one can take anything that is not offered to them" wasn't universal. But if that's the case, then the OP can't be taking something that hasn't been offered to her, can she? Seems that you're very bitter Chapter2, I would like to extend the same courtesy you offered me; I'm sure you would benefit from counselling.
Ripples Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 It's counseling...note the spelling. Sorry, can't help it. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/counselling Hope that helps.
Chapter2 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 This is so, so sad on so many levels. I am a BW. There is no perfect justice (ever) for the BW except for karmic justice, but this one comes pretty damn close to it as it gets. I'm sure every affair has it's down side, but I like sara and I think she is pretty cool. I like LadyJane too. I agree kids would totally rather see mom and dad together. My kids remember alot of things from the affair like seeing daddy kissing OW but they were too little to understand. There have been people here who have had affairs for lesser reasons than sara. Everybody makes a choice. They followed their feelings despite everything they risked. So once in awhile we BS also take a chance and follow our feelings down the yellow brick road. I am happy for sara that there is something that she has with her ex that can never be broken. Something that can never be replaced or taken away. I believe in that. I understand what youre saying about morals because honor is something that is very important to me and I don't approve of affairs. But after being a BW, I guess the way I would look at it is this woman broke into her life and took it from her (in just this way) so why not reverse the roles in some kind of freaky friday thing where she could be the OW and have the control? The OW in my situation was so smug and so haughty with me after d-day. She thought she had my life in her hands like play doh when the affair forced me to seperate. It got really bad for me. I truly struggled with this and continue to do so to this day. Yes my husband was half responsible but she "helped" him all the way and earned her place as his trusty sidekick. Imagine how scary it was for me that this woman knew about me and my life and was cunning and manipulative to stay hidden for a year. She knew all my faults and played on it. She knew about our seperation and plans for divorce. Gave him legal and marital advice too while also a mistress. Thats the big joke. When my husband came back to me, I knew their A was over before she did. It was a crossroads really. To stay independant or should you risk more and go back to where you were last year and take that chance? I'm just going to come right out and tell you that I was the OOW for three days. Well I guess I was supposed to leave and divorce him and they would live happily ever after but it didn't work out that way. I think it was that jeopardy that made him realize what he had taken for granted for so many years. I loved my husband and I didnt get the chance to turn it off like he did. There were alot of unresolved feelings I had inside me and my history revolved around him because we grew up together. To me the OW was a stranger but she involved herself in just such a way (with the kids and all) that made it more than just an affair. The xOW had even been in my house. She left some of her stuff here and I threw it away in the garbage. She actually wrote my husband wanting her sexy nightrobe back. Yeah I want my three years back too, but neither is going to happen. Not all childhoods are golden. Papa bear put me and the baby bears through a lot, but this is how it ends because if goldilocks ever comes back to our cottage again looking for her nighty I'm going to bite her on the ass and give her rabies. grrrr... lolz. I can't blame sara for wanting a part of her life back, even if it is just for a little while. You have my blessings, sara and I hope you find your happy ending. A frog could always be a prince in disguise.
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 That's your opinion, and not mine... or apparently the OP's. Sorry, but you don't get to define "self-respect" for all of us. I have to wonder if you're basing your opinion of the assumption that the ex-husband is reaping a greater benefit than the OP. I'm assuming that she's getting what she wants off of him, not the other way around. Yes, we will disagree on this. I will always choose the action that allows me to retain my dignity and class. That is showing true self respect and self esteem, IMHO.
Ripples Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Oops, sorry, meant to put up this one http://www.bacp.co.uk/ It's spelt differently in England. You know, the place where the language originated.
Chapter2 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/counseling I guess it helps if you live in England...here in the states its with one "L" :rolleyes: ;) :bunny: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/counselling Hope that helps.
a4a Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Oops, sorry, meant to put up this one http://www.bacp.co.uk/ It's spelt differently in England. You know, the place where the language originated. Holy smokes I even found that to be a snarky remark...... sheesh PMS or what? why not stay on topic? or is that toppic?
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Ripples, so you are insulting an entire nation now? Okay.
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Well, woe is me... I guess that comment WAS directed at me a few pages back. Sorry, girlfriend, but I guess you WERE wrong.
woe_is_me Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Well, woe is me... I guess that comment WAS directed at me a few pages back. Sorry, girlfriend, but I guess you WERE wrong. :) sorry FN but i haven't directed anything at you i was just laughing at the argument over the spelling of counsellor/counselor ..i should have specified that ..sorry .. i won't post anymore
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 sorry FN but i haven't directed anything at you i was just laughing at the argument over the spelling of counsellor/counselor ..i should have specified that ..sorry .. i won't post anymore You misunderstood me! I was referring to your prior post a few pages back that Ripples was directing her comment at the OP and not at me. Obviously not! No, please stay and join in on the fun! The more the merrier...
Ladyjane14 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 She actually wrote my husband wanting her sexy nightrobe back. Yeah I want my three years back too, but neither is going to happen. I laughed out loud at this part! :lmao: Altogether good post, Ruby. I think you've got a good point in that there are probably some underlying familiar feelings at work. The OP's got her reasons for doing what she's doing. And who knows, maybe she'll end up 'in over her head' allowing the balance of power to shift between 'her using him' to 'him using her'. Or, maybe she'll get tired of feeling the anger and dump him. Or, maybe she'll end up back together with him. Anything could happen. But I can't say I don't understand WHY she's doing what she's doing. It's not like she's pissing with strangers who never did a thing to her. Those two have EARNED her enmity and disrespect.
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Yep, and she's rolling around in the same gutter with them. But that's her choice.
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 counsellor/counselor I'm in Canada and I spell it counsellor. Counselling, favour, flavour...Potatoe, tomatoe...
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I'm in Canada and I spell it counsellor. Counselling, favour, flavour...Potatoe, tomatoe... Well at least some of us can keep our sense of humor!
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Yep, and she's rolling around in the same gutter with them. But that's her choice. Is she rolling around in the gutter, or is she taking back what's rightfully hers by law? Is there a difference between your extended exit strategy and hers?
Freedom Now Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 He never touched my body again. That's the difference.
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