tinydancer512 Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Didn't know where to go with my dilemma so found this forum. Well here's my situation: I tend to date a lot of musicians. However, over the years I found out the fame gets them macho, they're unfaithful, have different girls in every city and not exactly the best guys to date. So basically 99% are not good guys. I just about gave up on dating them until I met one who I believed to be different. After seeing me he tracked me down. At first I wouldn't give in or allow myself to get close to him, but he wouldn't give up. His will power, determination, good looks, kindness & personality won me over. This guy was the nicest boy I've ever met. & Although he lives about 15 hours and thousands of miles away from me, he happened to be recording his new cd 2 hours from where I live. I'd take trips to see him, or he'd pick me up and we'd hang out, hook up, act as a couple and when we weren't together we'd talk IM, Text, Phone.. seriously at least 15 hours a day. This went on for well over a month. He constantly would tell me how much he likes me, and even get jealous if I'd talk to other guys. I got a long with him so great, and his band became friends of mine also. So I last seen him about 4 days ago, and everything was great. But after that night he started talking to me less & less. No more calls before he went to bed, instead 15 hours it went down to about 10 minutes scattered throughout the day. Now he won't even IM, or text me unless I initiate the conversation. Even when I do, all I get is small talk and then nothing. This is driving me crazy because HE'S the one who wanted me. I didn't even want him at first & now i am baffled to why he's not talking to me? I understand he's in a fairly popular band and he may be busy with recording but he made time for me before, why can't he now? Do you think he met someone else? Lost interest? Just wanted to test his ability and see if he could get me? I just don't know what to think. I asked him and he said "I'm sorry I've been so busy, can't help it" yet he's constantly signed on AIM, and lurking myspace. any advice or explanation would be greatly appreciated. I really like this guy and it's killing me.
Island Girl Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Are you the one initiating the conversations, etc.? From your post it appears that you are at least in texting (which, by the way, I completely disagree with in a relationship)-- if that it the case you need to stop. You are not coming off as independent anymore but rather clingy and "stuck". Neediness is not attractive. Have you sacrificed a lot of your life lately? Been available anytime he can see you? This is the wrong course of action. You are seeing him pull back for whatever reason. You can go back to conversations - do your words to him sound needy? Were you constantly fishing for reassurances? That is a sure way to create problems even if there aren't any to begin with. He pursued you and found you to be challenging. But it seems to me that you turned around and jumped in head first and possibly have lost yourself along the way.
3hundred Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Couldnt agree more with Island Girl.. and maybe on a side note, you wanted to believe in something that wasnt true, when you thought he seemed different... you yourself mentioned that guys in bands have different girls in different towns and that they are not faithful and macho and on top of those, this one lives 15 hours away from you.. I think it is lucky that it has only been a month and not worse.. just stop talking to him... dont send IMs, messages even if he attempts to restart this once more...
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