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Growing up without a Dad


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I always had a stronger relationship with my dad than my mom, I went to him when I needed comfort. When I was in 4th grade my parents divorced, and my dad met a women on the internet and started leaving for the entire winter, every year after that. When I was a sophmore in HS my mom and I moved to WV from VT, I hated it, so I moved back to Vermont to live with my dad, but he stayed out of state.

 

I've grown up alone in this state since Sophmore year and now (im 20) things are still the same. My dad leaves for the winter, my mom stays in VA, and my older brother just recently moved to VA also. I was in a very bad relationship for 3 1/2 years, which i just broke off. I am much happier now, I have always been very independant, since I was forced to grow up so quickly. My bad relationship was very exclusive and I lost a lot of friends, all of them pretty much except for 2 or 3 best girl friends.

 

now that I've started being social more, I feel like when it comes to me liking a guy, I do all the wrong things, I jump into things too quickly, or I say the wrong thing, or let things go to far too fast, I think it's because I have always lacked a father figure, and maybe I'm subconsciously substituting the need to have a male around for meaningless sexual relationships. It doesn't help that I look like a stereotypical blonde. I look at almost every attractive guy as a possible relationship, instead of possible friendship to start off with.

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