Guest Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I will give you a quick summary of my marriage. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, but together for 9. We had a very short courtship, before having our first child unexpectedly. We stayed together, and had another child 20 months later. We married that year, and just this week my wife has asked for a trial separation. I was devestated, and am having a really hard time dealing with it. She states that she has had no passion for me for the last 3 years. This is true, she hasn't initiated lovemaking in at least the past 3 years, and she only made love with me because she felt guilty. Things haven't been good for the last few years, but we got along because of the kids. I have not been the best husband. I became "addicted" to video games and shirked a lot of my household duties. I have always been a good father, and she admits to that. But what I haven't been is the most helpful, or loving husband. My wife and I rarely did anything alone as a couple, and started to develop seperate interests. I gained some weight, which I know bothered her, because she is a very athletic person, who takes very good care of her body. My wife has also started her own business, and I haven't been very helpful with that regard. I have begged my wife to let us try and work it out, but she is determined that the best thing be a trial separation. We are letting the kids stay at the house, and we are taking turns living at the house. I work 12 hour shifts, so when I'm at work I just stay at a friends house for the 2 or 3 days that I work, so the kids don't really see anything as different. She went to a counsellor yesterday, who she said affirmed her choice to have a trial separation. We are both going to see this counsellor on WED. and are going to go from there. She seems so set on ending this, but I feel lucky that she is wanting to try counselling first. Initially I was devastated, and have barely been able to function. I was totally against separation, but I realize that that is what she needs, some space. I am willing to do everything possible to win her back. She says that she really doesn't think that I can change into the person that she would feel passionate about. But I am going to change my life 360 degrees. I'm getting rid of any remnants of Video Games, and Televsion. I'm going to get back in shape, and do more than my share around the house. Anyway.. sorry for the long post, but I really needed to vent. I am just wondering if there is any hope for us to reconcile? I am willing to do ANYTHING to reclaim our relationship, as I love her so much. What are other's experiences with trial separation?
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