Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 You would be guessing wrong trialbyfire, I didn't "bring her home" she followed me in her own car, after dinner, with her own digital camera. She was having trouble using the features on a Kodak 563, I use a 633 all the time and the units are almost identical. The "tutoring" had been arrainged almost a week in advance. Obviously the woman had a "need to check" that's the point isn't it? Her "need" was move valuable to her than my privacy. In the real "offline" world that's called a lack of respect for others. You drove her, she drove herself, it's all the same thing. As I mentioned to the other member, it's not something I would do unless I were willing to bed the guy. It's not as if you couldn't bring your camera with you since you knew about it a week beforehand. Digicams don't weigh much. If it's the software on your desktop you needed, bring a laptop. Anyways, regardless, whatever her reasons were and whatever your motivation was, I think you over-reacted, thereby causing an extreme reaction from her after-the-fact. For all you know, she might have been interested in the features on your phone.
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 this may be so...but do those men make love to you? Perhaps the question should be, do they want to make love to you?
Mary3 Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 You drove her, she drove herself, it's all the same thing. As I mentioned to the other member, it's not something I would do unless I were willing to bed the guy. It's not as if you couldn't bring your camera with you since you knew about it a week beforehand. Digicams don't weigh much. If it's the software on your desktop you needed, bring a laptop. Anyways, regardless, whatever her reasons were and whatever your motivation was, I think you over-reacted, thereby causing an extreme reaction from her after-the-fact. For all you know, she might have been interested in the features on your phone. I disagree. Bed or no Bed. Sex or No Sex , she had NO right to go through his cell phone .
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I disagree. Bed or no Bed. Sex or No Sex , she had NO right to go through his cell phone . As I've stated a few times, each person has their level of openness. Me, I simply don't care because I have nothing to hide.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 trialbyfire - I'm an attractive woman, who is educated and charming...why wouldn't they? But I, like Lakeside, like to get to know someone I'm dating well and like to know it's going somewhere serious before I "bed them". (that almost sounds like a Victorian term, suiting for you, who is the mistress of all etiquette - not.) Lakeside, just ignore trialbyfire. she doesn't get it, she's arguing for the sake of arguing's sake. You did the right thing by showing her the door, I would have done the same thing. Thanks for explaining the changing thing, totally understandable.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 As I've stated a few times, each person has their level of openness. Me, I simply don't care because I have nothing to hide. Trialbyfire, I have nothing to hide either. but I was raised to respect people and I was raised to be polite. As a guest in someone's home, it is very rude and disrespectful to go through someone's cell phone. Period. If someone wants to check who's on my phone, they should ask if they may do so. If they want to know who I call, the polite thing to do would be to ask me, instead of sneaking behind my backwhile I'm in the other room and snooping and looking at my cellphone. the point is not that I have something to hide (I don't) or if I'm an open person (I am.) The point is that someone snooping and checking your cell phone without asking, while you're in the other room is disrespectful and a grave breach of etiquette.
alphamale Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 But I, like Lakeside, like to get to know someone I'm dating well and like to know it's going somewhere serious before I "bed them". a relationship never really becomes "serious" until you both sleep together.... Lakeside, just ignore trialbyfire. she doesn't get it,. hey! I like TBF...don't cut her down.
Mary3 Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 a relationship never really becomes "serious" until you both sleep together.... Just because your having sex together doesn't mean its serious but only what you lead the other person to believe it is....
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 she's been cutting me down all night. Just because you feel that a relationship doesn't become 'serious' until you 'bed them' doesn't mean that others feel that way. I like to wait a month or longer to develop trust and a relationship. Just because you say that doesn't mean it's true for everyone, alpha. Just as, if I invite a male friend I'm dating into my home, it doesn't mean I am inviting them in to 'bed them' or I should be 'willing to bed them.' Again I've NEVER had a guy be confused about that. I have gone to a date's home to watch a movie and there was not an assumption of sex by either party. That's kind of whack, inviting someone in to your house is not an automatic assumption for sex. That's kind of sad when you think about it. Lakeside understand what I'm talking about, he didn't invite her to have sex, to show her the camera and visit. Not every invitation a guy a makes to a woman is a strategy to "bed her" (still cracking up from that term, sorry), and if I invite a guy to my place for a coffee or a movie, I've NEVER like I said had guys confused and thinking "she is inviting me for sex." And I"m 38 freaking years old.
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 hey! I like TBF...don't cut her down. Why thank-you alpha. Consider it mutual. It's a matter of being able to accept a dose of honesty, I think. You dish it out but you can also take it. We don't always agree on things but that doesn't make it a reason to get hysterical.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 eh, you've been telling me I have no etiquette all night which is cutting me down. glass houses, trial.
Author LakesideDream Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 You drove her, she drove herself, it's all the same thing. As I mentioned to the other member, it's not something I would do unless I were willing to bed the guy. It's not as if you couldn't bring your camera with you since you knew about it a week beforehand. Digicams don't weigh much. If it's the software on your desktop you needed, bring a laptop. Don't own a laptop, sorry. I didn't know that a "casual discussion" about digital camera's on a previous date that led to my offer to show her how to make her's work for her better was actually a veiled request for/invitation to have sex. I am really old and behind the times. There I was enjoying a meal, talking about digital camera's when I should have been giving a lengthly dissortation on my personal history, finances, relationships, children, and religion (complete with slides? or possibly a Powerpoint presentation?) so that she would know that I had "nothing to hide". I'm afraid I do not understand your viewpoint. That's OK too, your viewpoint is your business.
alphamale Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 ok ok girls...its a bit early in the morning to break up a cat-fight
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I'm afraid I do not understand your viewpoint. That's OK too, your viewpoint is your business. And yours is your business. As with WWIU, we'll agree to disagree and not get sensitive and hysterical about it. If it's one thing I can't stand, it's a hysterical female...
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 ok ok girls...its a bit early in the morning to break up a cat-fight alpha, I think you enjoy a good cat fight. I haven't even entered into one with bj. It's not worth my time or effort.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 not worth your time, right. that's why you've been posting here all night getting your digs and cutdowns in. I don't get where you're getting the 'hysterical' thing. Odd.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 That's OK, Lakeside, you have enough support from most posters here who know that it's common and obvious etiquette to respect other people's privacy by not snooping in their cell phone when you visit their home. As for Trialbyfire, her strategy is to cut you down, by implying that you yourself are in the wrong and weren't raised with etiquette yourself, then when you defend yourself you're getting all 'hysterical and sensitive.' just because I have invited guys into my apartment for a Coke or to watch a movie on a date doesn't mean I am obligated to bed them and I've NEVER had men confused or upset or mislead by this, nor was I breaching any rules of etiquette which trialbyfire suggests. You did nothing wrong, Lakeside.
elmejor Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 ...As for Trialbyfire, her strategy is to cut you down, by implying that you yourself are in the wrong and weren't raised with etiquette yourself... You did nothing wrong, Lakeside. I can relate! EM
kribby Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 a woman inviting a man into her home after a date usually either implies sex now or a promise of sex later on. No it doesn't.... especially since they hadn't even gotten to the heavy petting stage.
LaughMachine Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Yeah that is unusual behavior for a someone you basically just met. But I don't know if I would have gone all the way to have her leave ? You have a right to be a annoyed but you seem like you retaliated overly. Being the age that you are( not being critical) maybe you expected for her not to do such a childish thing?
Pyro Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 just because you have someone over to your house doesn't mean it's to have sex. yes, I have invited dates to come in for a coffee or something with no sex intended. Just like Lakeside. I think that it implies that there is at least some romantic interest in the person, which could obviously lead to sex later on down the road.
pelagicsands Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think that it implies that there is at least some romantic interest in the person, which could obviously lead to sex later on down the road. Yes, cars are great places for sex.
Author LakesideDream Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 Yeah that is unusual behavior for a someone you basically just met. But I don't know if I would have gone all the way to have her leave ? You have a right to be a annoyed but you seem like you retaliated overly. Being the age that you are( not being critical) maybe you expected for her not to do such a childish thing? Hmmm... I didn't consider it childish, I felt it was dishonest. I would have felt the same if she was going through my wallet. I have a "rolodex" type picture thing on the table beside where she was sitting, going trough that would have told her more than my cellphone, and it would of been perfectly fine, it was "out" on display.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think that it implies that there is at least some romantic interest in the person, which could obviously lead to sex later on down the road. That could be said when you ask someone out on a date for the first time, or accept a date.
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