PracticalShade Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Okay, so... I keep following up on different aspects of my situation lol 2 weeks ago my very close relationship ended with my girlfriend who is younger than I. (She's a college freshmen and I'm a college senior) After a lot of fighting, she came to the conclusion that she was unable to give what should be given in a relationship. I insisted that there was surely some way to work things out she said something to the effect of "no, I need time without the pressure of a relationship so I can work on me, and you should work on you." I originally thought that she was being cruel, but I also wonder if she did this BECAUSE she cared about me so much. When I ask her about the future she says that she still likes the thought of being with me but has no idea what the future brings; that to me sounds like she's completely resigned herself to the life's current. I can't so easily say whatever happens happens becuase I freaking want to be with her! I was seriously depressed about it up until the last few days. Now it's still hard, but I've accepted it. I saw her for a moment yesterday and she still gives me hugs and talks to me and everything. But it's like... as much as I want her to be my girlfriend, right now she's not. Everyone tells me the best thing to do is move on but it's like I'd always be looking over my shoulder for her, emotionally speaking. I couldn't bring myself to even mess around with anyone else because I love my ex. So it's like I WOULD be moving on, but would I really? How do I deal with this? I know the relationship wasn't so perfect, but I really do care about her and she's the one I want to be with? How do I take this in stride, especially when I know there's no guarantee we'll be back together? Sometimes I wish I wasn't a genuine guy, lol -_-
Kelso Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 My man ... your story sounds awful lot like mine. I don't wanna be pessimistic on your behalf, but I haven't heard from my ex since the day we broke up. About the huggs that she is giving you. They probably don't mean anything. Of course she still cares for you if you've just recently broke up. But just think forward ... do you think she will hug you or kiss in 1-2-3 months time?? I applied NC from week one and it has hurt like hell. I'm getting better now, but you can believe that it will take some time. The "excuses" that she used were the exact same. a) Need time for myself. b) Don't want a relationship right now. c) Let's just see what the future brings. Like I've said. I haven't heard from her at all. Of course I don't know your situation as well as mine. But I think that you should prepare for the worst and I think you should use NC for a while now. And if you are feeling down, it helps a lot to log on to LoveShack and read some posts and to vent. Sorry to hear that you're going through all these problems...
stace79 Posted March 20, 2007 Posted March 20, 2007 Sounds like this guy I'm in love with, too...he has too many "personal" issues to work on to "be a good boyfriend" right now. He "doesn't know what the future holds" but he stills sometimes "likes the idea of being with me" and he knows that I would make him happy long-term and that he "would have a good life with me if we were married." BUT, we are still not together, and he still insists on "being friends." Trust me, I don't know what to do either. I flip flop almost hourly about whether to just cut him off completely or not. I go for about six hours feeling like I don't need him and I'll find much, much more deserving guys, and then an hour later I'm shaking and have this horrible feeling in my stomach because I just miss the sound of his voice. He's also really good at making me feel guilty for "getting rid of him" as even a friend. Anyway I don't know the solution to our problem, but I do often feel like I'm wasting good months/a year of my life on someone who doesn't care about me enough and won't fulfill my needs as a woman.
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