Jumpingjack Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Hi there, My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We had a break for a short period 6 months ago to have some space and grow. We have talked about life together (marriage, kids etc) for a long time, but at this current time isn't realistic as we are students. She told me earlier this week that she 'loved me' but was not 'in-love with me'. She told me though that I was doin everything right in the relationship (ie speaking her love language, work around the house etc), the reason she didn't love me was that she didn't love herself. My girlfriend has had ongoing body image issues for a long time including bulimia (since before I knew her). About a year after we started going out she was doing to0 much (work an exercise etc) and her body packed up, putting a on a wee bit of weight and getting very ache and lethargic. Because of her mindset she thought she had to do more to fix it and it got worse. Having been educated in exercise science I knew what she was doing to her body. It took me almost 2 very dedicated years to get her to stop, and he body started to get better (ie pain was gone and much more energy) although the 6-7kgs she put on was still there. This drived her wild the whole time and she would abuse me for it as told her that weight should go. She is seeing specialists for the difficulty in losing weight and I am adamant that she will use when they get to the right treatment for her as an individual. Anyway, I talked with a psychologist about eating disorders and body image issues. I found out that these issues can last into the early thirties (she is currently 24). My girlfriend is far from being overweight, and I consantly tell her how gorgeous and sexy she is but to no avail. She is an amazing person both in mind, body and spirit, she is so giving and caring. I just want to wave a wand and give her life backto her. She doesn't like going out with friends as she feels fat, feels that her friends don't like her. She sort of has the 'victim' complex about as she doesn't understand why she can't lose weight. She eats like and olympian and exercises more than enough (i keep a subtle check on this now so she doesn't overdo it). She always asks me 'why?', why don't I lose weight and I use to answer with the best of my knowledge, but now it is beyond me and tell her positively that the specialsist will figure it out. Now she is also saying that her extra weight is just a 'block' to protect her from our relationship. I think she is saying this because she desperately needs an answer but has none. Don't mean to go on like this but any advice would be much appreciated Thanks
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