Road Rage Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 ....But not impossible. The main thing about the bar scene is that everyone, men and women, are in an unfiltered arena. It is like a box of chocolates, to use a phrase from Forrest Gump. You never know what you are going to get. But it beats staying home alone. And for many, it is the only option that is readily available. But, you can really meet someone. It just takes discretion. That is where most fail, both men and women. The bar scene is tough because of each one`s limiltations. It takes getting good at this game. And for most, life never demands that the art be perfected. Like many things in life, it is an inner game. It really has nothing to do with what is going on around someone. You have to have the inner game down. And mostly that is knowing what you want in life. And sticking to those goals. Not being distracted by some pretty face:o I know that in my heart I intuitively "know" a woman with one conversation with her. Whether I want to follow my instincts depends on what is going on in my heart. The one thing that will circumvent that is sexual attractiveness. If she is pretty my thinking is biased. Women take note!!! Sometimes I think attractive women get screwed in life because they attract the accomplished players like flowers attract bees. But anyway, as I was saying. It can happen. If there is enough discernment and willpower, it is a way to meet that special one. But, if you can`t handle it, stay away. It is beyond the discernment level of most. It is a jungle out there:sick: Thoughts anyone??? I know that is about the only way I have to meet someone at the moment. And I can readily see the reservations many have. But, I think inside each person they really know. It is just that temptation is laided bare in the bar scene.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 The one thing that will circumvent that is sexual attractiveness. If she is pretty my thinking is biased. Women take note!!! Sometimes I think attractive women get screwed in life because they attract the accomplished players like flowers attract bees. I have wittnessed this over and over. Of my single friends it is the most attractive that have the hardest time even finding a decent guy. They have the horror stories. The average every day girls end up attracting decent men right off and have none of the drama that the other girls seem to attract.
alphamale Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 you have no idea WTF you're talking about RR...
Author Road Rage Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 alphamale Please explain, I am always open to learn. I have quite a few years on you, BTW.
westernxer Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 But it beats staying home alone. And for many, it is the only option that is readily available. I've had the greatest conversations with imaginary women when I'm drunk at home and all by myself. I never slept with any of them, though.
Author Road Rage Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Actually, I don`t see how the bar scene differs much from online dating now that I think of it. It is all about how someone presents themselves and your methodology of discernment. The process is of little difference because you are often interacting with someone with no outside reference. Instinct is of utmost importance in both. I feel our instincts rarely fail us. It is our concious mind that trips us up.
alphamale Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I am always open to learn. I have quite a few years on you, BTW. I'm 42...how old are you RR? You can't get to know everything about some broad just from one conversation. Unless that one conversation lasts for a month or two.
Author Road Rage Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 I`m 52. And been sinlge for 52 years.
westernxer Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 You can't get to know everything about some broad just from one conversation. Unless that one conversation lasts for a month or two. Most of that initial conversation is probably lies. LOL
Author Road Rage Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 alphamale The bar scene is there to meet people, not so much to get to know them. If your instincts are sharp, you will know which ones to ask for their number, email, etc., and then start the process of really getting to know them if she is game for it. But, the instinct has to be followed every step of the way. 99% of the time sexual attractiveness circumvents instinct.
alphamale Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Most of that initial conversation is probably lies. LOL exactly WEST...alcohol-fueled discussions tend to be quite colourful.
Mary3 Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think the Bar Scene is a very dumb place to try and meet someone of quality. Afterall you are sitting there getting alcohol flowing through your system and your mind is thinking about getting numbers. There are lots of places to meet people who share the same interests and ideas but I don't think Jack Daniels resting place is one of them.
alphamale Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think the Bar Scene is a very dumb place to try and meet someone of quality. . which is why the bar scene caters mostly to the young and naive crowd....they haven't figured out yet that its a waste of time.
oppath Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 The benefit of the bar scene is that you can approach many women in one weekend; it can actually be good to develop social confidence if you prepare yourself cognitively for rejection. And yes, you can meet someone at a bar. However, something like 5% of the population has had a serious relationship with someone they met at a bar. And something lke 50% of relationships start through friends of friends. If you are interested in meeting someone at a bar, your best bet is honestly to invite different circles of friends to interact with each other. What do you mean the bar scene is the only thing available? That is total BS! It is an excuse. It is a naive excuse. You can always take yoga or art classes after work. You can go out for a couple drinks on Friday night but play in a coed soccer or frisbee league on Saturday mornings. You can volunteer Sunday afternoons. You can go to a bookstore Sunday nights. There are many places aside from the bar scene, and I'm willing to bet if you do some of those other things for yourself, not just to meet women, you will have even BETTER game at the bar.
alphamale Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 However, something like 5% of the population has had a serious relationship with someone they met at a bar. most relationships that start at a bar also end at the bar... And something lke 50% of relationships start through friends of friends. If you are interested in meeting someone at a bar, your best bet is honestly to invite different circles of friends to interact with each other.. that is just a bunch of friends going out the the bar...which I recommend. But it does not constitute meeting a stranger at a bar. They are two totally different things.
Island Girl Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 The one thing that will circumvent that is sexual attractiveness. If she is pretty my thinking is biased. Women take note!!! Sometimes I think attractive women get screwed in life because they attract the accomplished players like flowers attract bees. I have wittnessed this over and over. Of my single friends it is the most attractive that have the hardest time even finding a decent guy. They have the horror stories. The average every day girls end up attracting decent men right off and have none of the drama that the other girls seem to attract. True true. The players are the one's I'd get approached by - but that is everywhere not just at bars. However, in my case, they were the ones heartbroken (usually for the first time) and unable to cope. I met my husband in a bar. Here it is almost seven years later we are still together. But we are not typical in any way, shape, or form.
Erik Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 The bar scene is different where I come from, but here is my two cents: 1: If you have not made contact with prey inside five-ten minutes, move to the next bar. Unless I'm out there just to drink and have fun, I rarely spend more than one hour all together in town. After one hour, your mojo fades. Mine does, anyway. 2: Don't drink alcohol.
Woggle Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 The best places to meet people are places where people don't usually go to meet people. I met my wife just walking on the boardwalk not even expecting to meet her that day while every woman I have picked up in a club or a bar has not been dating material. Those places tend to attract the players of both genders. If you go frequently you will see the same people there all the time playing their game.
Erik Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Yes. Woggle is right, of course. For MW's I prefer bookstores; it's easy to find something to talk about, and their defenses are down. The cooking section is best. Talking about food is erotic.
Author Road Rage Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 The term "bar scene" does need some definition. There are seedy bars that I would avoid like the plague. I used to work with a woman that would tell me about her adventures in one such bar where she bartended. Someone would have to negotiate a six figure contract to get me to walk through the door of such a place. On the other hand, there are many resturants that have nice bar areas that attract decent people. Also places that have dance floors and often have dance club groups that are there frequently. And nice piano bars that seem to attract an upscale crowd many times. By no means just young people. I am often disappointed because the places I go many of the women are too old for me. And I am over 50. So, one thing I seriously avoid is the "testosterone" crowd. The young guys that drink to sloppy drunk and then have to fight. The constant elbowing and yelling and begging the world to look at me. So, I do not online date for the same reason people are wary of bars. You have no outside reference on someone and are taking them at their word. That doesn`t mean you believe a word of it though. In the bar scene, just like online dating, when there seems to be reason, you choose to continue the dialog. I just can`t see the difference. At least in the bar environment you can see the person in real time, and use your instincts. Just like online, you can reveal as little or as much about yourself as you feel comfortable. I tried dating services before the age of the internet. These women were supposedly screened. The introductions were all disappointing. I never went for a second date. If someone is clear on what they want, be it man or woman, it is much easier to find it in another. Many are unclear on what they are looking for and others have ulterior motives. It seems many women have a stigma against meeting their significate other in a bar. In a way, it may be that it is a lot of this stigma that creates a barrier. But, I don`t blame women at all for being wary of meeting men with no frame of reference. With what I know about men, if I was a woman my most important factor would be establishing some forms of reference with someone. For a man, how is approaching a woman in a bar any different that approaching a woman in a supermarket, park, outdoor concert, etc.? I wouldn`t approach a biker chick at church, supermarket and so on cause that is not my thing. And neither would I approach her in a bar. A bar is an unfiltered environment where one uses there knowlege, instincts, discretion, and also patience. It`s true, most of the time, in fact, almost all the time, it`s just not there for you. But then, neither is it there at church, work, supermarket or any other place on the planet either, most of the time. If it was, I wouldn`t be here now:laugh:
Pyro Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think the Bar Scene is a very dumb place to try and meet someone of quality. Afterall you are sitting there getting alcohol flowing through your system and your mind is thinking about getting numbers. There are lots of places to meet people who share the same interests and ideas but I don't think Jack Daniels resting place is one of them. I think that the bar is one of the places that you will least likely meet someone and start a LTR, but some of us have defined the odds. We are going on a year and a half.
Author Road Rage Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 Riddler I find it interesting that it is considered beating the odds when a couple that lasts has met in a bar. It may be true most relationships result from introductions but what if no introductions are imminent? Or other ways of meeting others.
Pyro Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Riddler I find it interesting that it is considered beating the odds when a couple that lasts has met in a bar. It may be true most relationships result from introductions but what if no introductions are imminent? Or other ways of meeting others. I don't mean lasts. By defining the odds, I meant meeting someone in a bar and starting a LTR with them. From what I have observed, a majority of singles at the bar are looking for ONS or just hanging out with friends. I don't hardly ever hear about a couple meeting at a bar and maintaining that relationship.
Realness Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Pickin up women at bars..vile...How about meeting someone SOBER at work, gym, sporting event ?
Pyro Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Pickin up women at bars..vile...How about meeting someone SOBER at work, gym, sporting event ? I didn't go to the bar that night when I met her with the intentions of picking someone up, it just happened. I agree that the majority of the time a bar is a bad place but there are the exceptions. Not all people that go to bars are bad people.
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