Leaving Soon Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I leave on deployment (navy) in just over 2 weeks. I will be gone for 6 months. Yesterday I got off of leave spending the best week of my life with the girl I love. It was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do getting on that plane and coming back. I literally waited till they announced preboarding before I went through security. And even then I ran back to her and gave her more kisses and words. She waited as I went through and as soon as we waved and she turned around to walk away I instantly felt this emptiness. When I leave for det I wont have the communication factor thats held us together all this time. Sure I will get to talk with her over the phone, but it wont be everyday, every other day, or maybe not even once a week due to security levels. Sure, we'll have letters and we promised to write everyday and I know we will because we love to write. But even then they wont come day by day. It will most likely be a stack of several for her and a stack of 20+ for me because she will be in one place and I will be constantly moving. I love her so much and it hurts me to be apart from her. The feeling of knowing I cant see her everyday, talking to her when I want to, waking up beside her, running my fingers through her hair, everything about her makes me hurt so much. And if she isnt there when I come back, not meaning she is on the pier side, I dont know how I would take it or continue on with day by day life. Everyone always fills my head with "dear john letters" and that se wont wait for me. But I know thats not true, we have a deep trust for one another. But 6 months is a long time, and even though I will be on a virtual time capsule her life will continue to move and change and who knows what could happen? Anyway, I just need help coping with this because I dont want to lose her and the way I feel. Any advice?
catrocks Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I really feel for you, the first time you leave is the hardest and it feels like you are going to die. It gets easier though, although its not easy to see that at the beginning. First of all, you need to know that while 6 months seems like a long time, it really isnt. I have managed to go 6 months before without seeing my fiancé and others on this forum have gone much longer than that and are still together. Will you have access to the internet while you are away? If so, make sure you email every day and keep that connection of talking every day (even if its just emailing). If you wont have the internet then make sure you write her every night before bed or whatever, that way when she receives the letter she will know youre thinking of her. Its not going to be an easy time, but it sounds like you two will have no problems making it. Think of it this way - if you spend the rest of your life with her then what is 6 months? Nothing! And spending the time apart will make you stronger because you will appreciate each other more and at the end of it you will know that she is the one for you. I think doing distance for a while is a positive thing really, just for that reason. People throw the word "love" around too often these days, I have done it myself in the past, but you know that if you can get through this then you can get through anything. Just communicate with her as much as possible, send her things so she knows youre thinking of her, and know that the 6 months will be over before you know it. And if you have a really bad day you can always come on here and type it all out, I think it helps to talk to people who are in similar situations to you. I hope I helped a little! Good luck.
guin_girl Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 First off, thank you for defending our country. If it weren't for people like you, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the freedoms that we do. As for your coping... yes it does suck to be away from the person that you love. But remember, she is also away from the person that she loves too. You didn't say how long that you two have been together, but 6 months to be apart, isn't really as long as you think. This will be definitely be a test on your relationship, and if she can't wait 6 months for the person she loves, then you may be better off knowing it now, than later. But I don't think that will happen. She's going to be feeling that same feeling as you, missing the same things as well. You aren't in a time capsule, you will be experiencing many different experiences in your life, you are going on to do new and different things. Technically she will be in the capsule, at home, living the same life, going out with the same friends... you may find that it will be harder on her because she will have all those memories when she's home where she spent time with you, at a restaurant/store/somewhere you two have been together... technically, you will not have those visual reminders about the last time you were here together and what you all said/did. Since you like to write, if you have time before you deploy, why don't you make her a box of sweet nothings... take a bunch of index cards (maybe one for each day you will be gone) and write something you love about her on it, maybe just put a picture on a couple of you two, a funny story that you two share, or that only you two know about. Then have it sent to her when you leave and she can take out a card a day to "share" an experience with you. Good luck on your deployment and stay safe.
Sweetie2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 It's not as bad as you think. Just keep contact every way you can, letters, Emails, phone calls, SMS, whatever...and you'll make it. The longest my BF and I were apart (not physically together) was 17 months...that was rough, and I've vowed to myself not to let it go that far...but we're both in school and working sucky jobs...so anyway... you can make it 6 months! If you truly love each other, then you can wait that long, it's not TOO bad... I like the idea that guin_girl had, about writing a card for every day you will be gone. From the girls point of view, I would love it if my BF would do that. Put each card in an individual envelope, and date them, one for every day, including the day you leave and the day you return. Tell her the day you leave she can open it after your gone, and the day you return she can open it in the morning before she sees you. It's very romantic, but not TOO sappy...very good idea! Just stay strong and faithful, don't forget to take pics of you with her...you'll make it Good luck!!
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