samsungxoxo Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Early on in my relationship with b/f when we had a convo. about kids/futures, I did specifically inform him that I had no desire for any whatsoever and he seem ok with it (thought he did say he probably wanted one in the future). And now recently he's been saying he can adopt one raised him/her if I didn't wanted any. He off course knows that he would be responsible for raising that child while I got hardly anything to deal with it. He's ok with it. I'm the one that say "Ok but it's your child, you 100% responsible, in which he answered "Off course, I'll be 200% responsible". But see what now concerns me if: a) I'm I also gonna be responsible for the kid b) What if one day he starts thinking of having a kid of his own while I still don't want any
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Uhmm, not wanting kids means not wanting kids...Yours or adopted. What part of that does he not understand? If he is thinking long term and it's obvious he does want children, you might as well end it now. What is the point of staying with someone if you don't ever want children and he does?
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 It's also unrealistic to think he can adopt a child, and you have nothing to do with it if you two are a couple. It's impossible.
Touche Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Do you really think you will be with him long enough to even think about this?
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Do you really think you will be with him long enough to even think about this? That's what I'm concern about b/c he seems to actually want to settle down in the future while I'm just happy with a long-term relationship. This might cause us to split apart.
Jinxx Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Of course, unless you change your mind this is unrealistic. Get out while you can and find someone who feels the same as you do.
whichwayisup Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 That's what I'm concern about b/c he seems to actually want to settle down in the future while I'm just happy with a long-term relationship. This might cause us to split apart. No, not might - it WILL split you two apart later in the future. If you feel this strongly about NOT having children, it's best to end it now. You won't change him and he won't change you. If you two stay together, and then he wants a child, he'll resent you, as you will him because he wants a child and you don't. It will hurt, but better now than later on when you're more involved and more time goes by.
dgiirl Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Are you positive you dont want any children ever? Or just not any right now? If you know for sure, there is no doubt in your mind, then end it now. If not, you are still young to even worry about this right now.
fairy_dust Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Alright sounds to me that you both have different views to have kids and not to have kids. If he wants them in the future you should know it is expected and if you don't want any then he is not the man for you because it will only bring you obligation if you get married to him. Trust me there is no two ways about it that he will be the only responsible even if you don't want kids. What kind of life and relationship is that? it's just totally nonsense to even think that way. So stop while your still ahead and break off the relationship and find someone else who feels strongly as you do about not having kids.
Recommended Posts