Guest Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I need some advice. My Gf and I have been together for about 8 months, and a lot of crap has happened in that 8 months. She cheated on me, and I took her back because I new she was sorry. A couple weeks ago she moved about 500 miles away, but still wants to be together, and eventually wants me to move there with her. I don't feel the same way, and want to end it. The thing is she is going thru really hard times right now, she's depressed everyday and I seems like i'm the only thing that keeps her going. I know that if I break up with her, she will absolutely devistated. The thing is I still really do care about her. I worry about her safety, its just I know that things will never work out in the long run. we've broken up like 10 times, and its starting to get a little annoying. I just want her to realize that too. Just not sure how I should go about it. I know telling her the truth would be the logical thing to do. But I don't know if she'll be able to deal with it.
stockmos Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 It WILL be hard to end it, but it is much better to go through with it. You have unambiguously stated you want to end it with no doubts. Suspending the moment is only giving her false hope. Tell her clearly that it is over and initiate no contact.
Spinderella Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Is she depressed because she is feeling lonely there? I would say maybe leave it a little while and give her a chance to settle before you drop the bombshell. It just seems like quite alot of change all at once.
Trialbyfire Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 While you want to be sympathetic to the needs of your g/f and appear to have done so admirably in the past, it appears that she's not meeting your needs. Sometimes you have to bite the bullet.
bridget_jones Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 That is odd, if she was so into the relationship with you 1. she wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place and 2. she wouldn't have moved 500 miles away from you. These two factors, and the fact that you have already broken up several times within 8 months, tells me she is not in love with you, but rather codependent on you and confusing that with love. It definitely sounds like it is no longer a matter of being in love on your part either. I think she probably knows it's coming, more than you think. It's not like she isn't used to you two breaking up. Do it clearly and kindly, yet firmly over the phone and establish No Contact immediately, no matter how much she calls, emails, texts, ignore them all. It seems cruel but you're actually doing her a favor in letting you go. Don't let her beg and plead over the phone. You might even have to "I'm sorry this is hurting you but it is for the best. I really need to go now. Good-bye." and hang up. Then shut your phone off or your ringer.
2ndIINone Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Just not sure how I should go about it. just be really, really, really nice to her... like you have been just before every other break up..... only this time... don't get back together.
Recommended Posts