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Posted

About a month ago, I went on a date with this guy...there was definitely physical attraction, but I didn't think the date had gone THAT well, so I didn't think much of it, even tho he had told me to call when I was in town (i am about 1.5 hours away b/c of college)...a week later he texted me asking if i was in town, and i told him i would be the following weeknd...well, we got together and had two dates in a row, and i ended up sleeping over our last date, which was 2 days ago. I am thinking of asking him to a basketball game (which we both enjoy very much) that is in two weeks, when I will be in town again. Anyway, when I left his place the other day, he told me to keep in touch...I"m thinking about waiting til HE calls, but I'd like to ask him to the game. What should be my next move? I've heard that guys don't like to stay on the phone just to chit chat, so I don't think I want to do that. I"m thinking if I don't hear from him by next week, I will call and ask to go out to the game. What should I do? I don't want to be pursue too much at all, cuz in the past, it has never gone well.

Posted

Wait a few days before contacting him. You don't want to make him feel stuffy or you appear needy. Tension like that is good in a relationship, makes it fun and both of you more attracted to each other. However if you ask him to the game in a friendly fashion, my guess is he might want to go.

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Posted

So...lets say I don't hear from him within the next couple of days. Can I call him a week before the game and ask him?

 

(Btw...every time we've gone out, he's contacted me first, always.)

Posted

Since you slept with him on the 2nd date then he has no reason to call you except to have sex again.

 

I would call him and ask him to the game and don't have sex with him that night.. you gave it up too soon and you need to keep his interest up or it will turn into a booty call deal.

 

Don't be afraid of calling him.. you both have shared bodily fluids and you should be able to pick the phone up if you wanted to talk to him.. but remember.. you already set the sexual pace.. but you need to slow it back down in order to keep the control and to keep his interest..

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Posted

well, the sex was actually the 3rd date. I have never slept with a man so soon, but it just felt right.

 

If I do call, and I hear his voicemail...do I just ask him to the game right then and theere or ask to call back? I got a lot of flack from my gfs when I told them I asked out guys on voicemail before (whereas i honestly don't see the big deal, especially if you have specific plans).

Posted

I agree with you, steenerz. If it feels right for you, there is nothing wrong with what you did. Furthermore, I also believe that asking to confirm plans that were made earlier is not a big deal, even on voice mail. If the guy is feeling the same way, he will respond to you in the way you are desiring.

 

If he blows it off or misses the game you already agreed to, move on.

 

But, as a guy who has gone out on a date or two with a girl I've been physically attracted to, sometimes I am rather shy and can be reserved, at least at first, and that can act to influence my conduct thus reducing the quality of the date. This is especially true if I don't really know the girl well. My hope for you is that it felt right to get with this guy after 3 dates. If you do not sleep with guys based on looks alone, then it should say something about what he did to make you feel that way. I would watch him with a careful eye, but he may be worth keeping up on. If he responds to your advances, then ride it out!

 

BTW, there is nothing wrong with a woman persuing IMHO. If everybody went after what they wanted, there would be less games played. If you know what you want, the rest is easy!

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