its only me Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 sorry if this ends up wordy I want some opinions on this. Am I being stupid? I have been with my husband for 26 years. Married for 20 we have children and when things are good, We are very happy. To the outside world we have the perfect marrage. We both have good jobs (same company, different departments and buildings), own our own home, good cars and wonderful, well behaved children. About 5 years ago I became friends with a co-worker, she is also married and has step children. We decided to go out and have her meet my husband. We all hit it off really well, and went out often during our days off. Her husband has a terrible schedule and works a lot during the times we are working. Finally after a few months of hearing about him we met. We all became very good friends, visiting eachothers houses, having our kids meet. everything was good. we call each other and send text messages to eachother. My husband to both her and her husband and visa-versa. Well 3 years ago we all went away for the weekend and there was a hot tub. My husband told me later that him and my friend were touching eachother through their bathing suits. Nothing happened and after they touched briefly he moved away from her. He said they both had too much to drink and he didn't know why they did that. He felt so guilty that we did't go out with them for a while, but we still talked. Since then we have stopped going to any place that we would be changing our clothes. His choice. If asked he just says he don't feel like hot tub or swimming ect. This is good. 2 years ago we went to a friends birthday party and somehow My husband and My friend ended up away from everyone and some kissing and touching happened. He said touching her breast both on her clothes and under her bra. He said that they rubbed eachother through their pants but not under. He was in a foul mood for days until he finally told me. He felt so guilty that he wanted to leave me for doing things he should not have done. He said that he pulled away again and told her he could not do this and came back inside to the party. He said again it was stupid and the drink and it will not happen again. Our friendship still there. But we didn't go out for a while with them. The calls and text still happening between all of us. well. last month it happened again. We were all together at another friends house. All having a good time. Drinks and music. They ended outside in the carport. Looking at our friends boat. Why, I don't know. When everyone else left the carport, they didn't. He don't know how but they ended up kissing again. Touching her breast again, this time he bared them and kissed and sucked on them. He again touched her through her pants but this time felt her under her panties. AGAIN he pulled away telling her this is wrong. He told me that night. He again felt so guilty. Again he wanted to know if i still trusted him and asked if I wanted to leave him. He claims stupidity and that when he is not drinking he is not attracted to her at all. He said that he don't know why this happens. the next morning he sent her a message telling her not to call him, text him and that he did not want to see her any more. He has stopped drinking. He is making evey effort to reassure me that this will NOT happen again. I know he is feeling bad still. He has had headaches and stomach aches from all his worring about our situation. He knows how hurt i am. He knows that I have been so stressed that I feel like throwing up. Its gotten better, but bothers me still.- We have not had contact with either my friend or her husband. They have not text or called my husband. It is Really hard because no one knows of these times between my husband and her. She works in the same company as my husband and I but we don't see her during our work week. I HAVE to contact her for work reasons and afterwards she trys to text or call me. I do not respond unless it has to do with work. My co-workers thinks its strange that she is not over at our office like she use to be. My family has asked how come they don't come over any more. I just shrugg it off and say I don't know. They are busy? I LOVE my husband, and I know he loves me. Can I trust him to stay away from others. Can I believe he will stay away from her. I have his email password and he knows I can see the phone logs and he THINKS that I can see who and when he text through the phone logs. He told me to check them if I am worried. (i have not felt the need to) Tell me if you have had this happen and what you did. Or of course am I stupid for not beating them both the first time!
Erik Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Where did all the replies go...? Hm. I guess they all wound down to: "Professional help".
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