shimmy Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 I'll try and be short Together 3 years, living together 1 year he's working, i'm having a lot of trouble finding a job he's gained a little weight, i've gained a little more he's from around here, I'm from the other side of the country he has his family here, i secretly hate them and miss my own he gets off during sex, I was so miserable last time I almost cried we have sex once a month now I have never really been turned on by him, and he seems to not pay attention to my requests in bed or coaching I love him, but i'm worried its only a friendly type of love, im a very sexual person and I dont even want to bother now because its no fun for me When I do get close to orgasm, he's finished leaving me so frustrated I have to go sit in the bathtub for an hour. I'm stuck here because I'm afraid to leave him, what if I do love him? I don't want to go home and have everyone see that my relationship failed and that i'm fatter with no job or no promise of a job. I dont want to give up, but I also dont want to waste both of our time if its fizzled. Does this happen anyways once you're married, im 26 i feel like its too early, am i wrong?
kribby Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Oh my goodness! That seems like 'LIFE'! I honestly think you need to work on yourself first. So, if you are only having sex once a month-- then you have a **** load of free time... Hit the gym... go for a walk.... work out... lose some of the weight. You said it is a 'friendly' type love?-- Was it ever anything other than that-- a romantic type love? Are you married to him? If you are-- I would really really work on the relationship. If you are not married-- I would do the same--- but question: What is your commitment to each other? Honestly, I think you should get your life together!!!!!!! Visit family... lose the weight... get your happiness back. Try to turn yourself back (somewhat) into the woman you were 3 years ago. The one that was in love with him. Though-- if you were never in love with him... well then maybe you are wasting your time... But I don't think you are wasting your time making yourself happy.
woodyman Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 A lot of people seem to get stuck in a relationship because family or friends will have said that "oh he isn't right for you"....."I'm not sure he is the right one", which i am sure in turn you will want to prove them wrong, and make you even more determined to stick around. Now if you go back to your family, find a friend or someone to support you, and you support her, by going to the gym, you will feel a whole lot more confident. That in turn will make job hunting a little easier, as you will feel more active to go out and find it. I hope you do ok with whatever you choose.
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