bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I can understand, you feel threatened if a woman you're dating might be dating someone else (because you have low self-esteem and confidence obviously), and you're for any 'formula' which involves a woman getting naked for you right away. it totally makes sense.
DanielMadr Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 see, we have a talk about we are only seeing each other and what that means to me is that we are not having sex with anyone else. I personally am not sleeping with a guy until I am in an understood exclusive relationship. Once we have had that talk, we are only seeing each other, then he is not sleeping with anyone else or if he doesn't want to do that, we are not continuing dating. If I am exclusive with a guy, it means I have gotten to know him enough that I want to see only him, so I don't want to accept dates with any other guys. HOw is this complicated? Daniel..STFU, seriously. So when you said "Exclusive now on" you live together to the end of your lives? Thats marriage for init? Exclusivity talk is BS. Just 'dont sleep with other people' talk. Which is. I dont know. It seems so contract like....'sign here please'. Some lawyers invented that. OK. There are people who can date, kiss, do heavy petting or whatever with more people than one. OK. I dont think it is right but OK whatever. You are clearly intrigued by me. Dont be. My reason for being here: By analyzing things and reading other people opinions, discussing I sort of educate myself, I have broader social contact, I get to know dating arena better ( and I learned a lot of things today) and by verbalizing my thoughts I get to understand myself better. And I improve my English. Id like to tell you so much, what sort of guy I really am.....but being too modest I have to bit my tongue, sorry
DanielMadr Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I can understand, you feel threatened if a woman you're dating might be dating someone else (because you have low self-esteem and confidence obviously), and you're for any 'formula' which involves a woman getting naked for you right away. it totally makes sense. Damn well I would be threatened. Because when she is dating someone else, it is over, she doesnt love me anymore. Woman who do love her man doesnt date (not mentioning kissing etc.) other man.Game over. She can see her ex-boyfriends, she can meet with Brad Pitt, she can go on ladies night whatch chippendales but she cant date. You know any formula involving women getting naked? I dont. And Im not looking for it....Because I know that to get a women to tear my shirt off, it gets 70% of who you really are and 10% of game, formulas, psychology, sexuology etc. ...the rest percentage is vis major.
DanielMadr Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Good night Eric, good night Bridget....and good night Nicki :-*
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 how is this confusing? When you're dating a while, you inevitably have this talk. the last serious relationship I was in, he brought it up first, that he wanted to see me. It doesn't necessarily mean we are having sex. We are boyfriend and girlfriend, how is this a foreign concept to you? Sorry it takes me a while to fall in love. I don't fall in love in a couple dates like you do apparently. I need to get to know them and truly connect on that level and that takes time. When I fall in love I don't want to see other guys. When a couple falls in love, then they aren't seeing other people....what happens before they decide they just want to be with each other with other people, who cares, now you have realized you do just want to be with that person, whoever else you dated a few times, who cares, that is part of the dating process, being around others and deciding what kind of people you want to be around. I repeat, Daniel, you are whack. The last man I was in a relationship with for 2 years, when we slept with each other, there were no games, no 'sexology', none of that, we had a strong connection and really, really cared for each other deeply, that's why it was awesome because we got to that point without jumping into bed the first week we met.
dariendrake Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Take it from me when your young astinence has its value, but as an adult it doesn't. I am 28 years old and have never had sex. I don't know if its fear of contracting an STD or the fear of haveing an emotional attachment. I'm so emotionally retarded because I never "became a man" that the prospeck of having a phisical relationship doesn't even seem possable to me. I never played house as it were growing so I never got to practice interacting with women. So my advice is you need both phisical and emotional bonds to make a healthy relationship. If you just want to hop into bed thats what you need to say and not play games.
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 it's all about communication and what you want. If you want a relationship, make that clear before you go to bed. If it's just a fling to you, be fair and let the other person know before that. I think you should be positive and find interests where you can meet members of the opposite sex. It can happen, but you do have to make an effort. think positive, you are not doomed to not experience romantic love!
alphamale Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Good night Eric, good night Bridget....and good night Nicki :-* good night John Boy
kribby Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 You guys are funny. Uh...I don't know about you but there is NO WAY I could do that. Sure there's casual dating but casual dating several? That's interesting. Would that be like trying several men out and then picking the best one or something? yeah, I've done that... that's how I work-- pick the one i like the most... kiss pretty much all of them... yep. and then pretty much never sleep with the one I choose!
Author Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 What confused me about "exclusivity" was that you'd have a specific term for it, that's all.
Author Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Hey Bridget, I googled divorce rates for Denmark and the US respectively, and guess what? Hehe... Look for yourself. When you google divorce you get banners like "Meet sexy Brazilian women"
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Island Girl was the one who brought up the point of Denmark and US divorce rates though. Did you have any luck with the ladies?
Author Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Nope. Truth is, I'm lazy as hell and chasing women is hard work. I prefer to stalk bookshops, it makes for easy icebreakers and intelligent conversation. Besides, the prey has her defenses down, she doesn't expect to be ambushed in a bookshop.
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 bookstores are great. I'm dateless myself this weekend.
Author Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 It all depends on the guy. If you go for the macho types, I'd recommend you browse Andy McNabb or Anthony Swofford, just ask the guy beside you which one is best and everything should take care of itself. If you prefer guys with a bit more substance and culture, I'd go for a new British guy, Magnus Mills. He's very hot with the highbrows over here, not very well known yet and he's funny too. I can practically guarantee that if you spot a guy with 'Restraint of Beasts' in his hand, you are looking at a guy with a sense of humour. The cooking section is always a winner, of course, eating and sex is deeply intertwined, and discussing cooking is as good as mainlining Spanish fly.
Author Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Myself, I've found out that women tend to go for a comparatively narrow set of authors. I can usually guess a girl's favourite author in two or three goes. Helen Fielding, I'm sure you will appreciate, is quite popular with younger urbanites, of course. Or rather, was a few years ago. Today there's a lot of excellent femi-suspense coming out of Sweden, it messes up my shortlist of women's favourites.
beangirl46 Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Interesting discussion going on here. I read through much of it. Question: How about making out with a guy on a first or second date, doing everything except sex of any kind? What I mean is, you both go to his room and do everything except oral, anal, or vaginal sex? He's on top of you, maybe he even cums? For the purposes of this discussion, is that equivalent to sleeping with him? Is the danger that the whole thing will crash and burn still there if you do a lot on the first or second meeting, but just don't go all the way?
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 guy gettin- tips. Lately I've been interested in classics like Tess of the d'Urbervilles. I need to expand my repertoire.
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 I wouldn't go that far on a first or second date. That's pretty intimate stuff. I can't answer it because each person is different? I guess you can gauge it by if he calls the next day or not? IMO yes the danger would be there in that case. It's safest to wait at least a month, preferably two to avoid the crashing and burning. Interesting discussion going on here. I read through much of it. Question: How about making out with a guy on a first or second date, doing everything except sex of any kind? What I mean is, you both go to his room and do everything except oral, anal, or vaginal sex? He's on top of you, maybe he even cums? For the purposes of this discussion, is that equivalent to sleeping with him? Is the danger that the whole thing will crash and burn still there if you do a lot on the first or second meeting, but just don't go all the way?
Author Erik Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Believe me, you don't want to listen to me, but since you asked, I don't see why you shouldn't have sex, if you do all the other stuff. It's like playing with dolls, pretend sex. But yes, going all the way will increase the chance of a crash and burn, but if it is a guy you want to keep, you'll have to sleep with him sooner and later, and the crash will come anyway. If sex is all he is in the game for, better find out sooner than later. I'm sure Bridget will disagree.
kribby Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 if you are doing everything (BUT) penetration-- it seems a trifle silly. Well, not a trifle-- a whole hell of a lot silly. That's not abstinence-- that's I'm-too-scared-to-go-all-the-way-he-might-have-an-std-oh-no.
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