Island Girl Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Embarking on a new journey - with everything new - is exciting. Almost like going off to college again! New place, new job, new life! Oh the possibilities! Good luck to you!
Author bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 It has been a very hellish 2 months....I did not think I was hireable after what happened. This is a good start for me because I'll be near my sister (we are twins), and I just need to be away from here. Thank you for your kind wishes!
Blue Phoenix Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 --"NO offense, Daniel, but you are an ******* who makes assumptions you know nothing about"-- How can that not be offensive lol... Any ways I agree you are makeing more of the dad thing then need be. Now the pot thats another thing all togher but if you realy object to it then tell him and if he says he wont quit then end things. But if it bothers you so much why wait till the relashionship gets serious?? All hes going to do then is turn around to you and say why dident you have a prob with it before now.. And sorry to say but you cant ask people to not reply to your threads. Because you dont like what they have to say. This is a open forum every one has the right to post there opinions long as there not nasty or openly offensive to any one..
Author bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 there is nothing from my post which would suggest I had issues from not having a father in my life, and Daniel is constantly trolling my posts just to say rude, demeaning comments. An example is that he said I need to relax and that I am 'insecure with myself' because I like to wait a month or longer to get to know someone before I sleep with a guy I'm seeing in another thread. He even said in another thread he doesn't know me so can't make assumptions about me, yet he is making an assumption I have 'daddy' issues? It doesn't compute. So he deserved it, and I don't take it back. Also if you read the rest of the post, I have resolved the pot issue and guy issue and what he said about my dad calling.....and if I will see him again, I even stated I was going to let it go about the phone call, so your post is unnecessary, this thread is over. Let's end it now. thanks.
Blue Phoenix Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Can you end a thread?? lol.. I dident think you could.. Oh well any ways I agree with the wateing thing theres no need to hop into bed right away with people. But just to let you know you cant tell people not to respond to your posts or say when a thread ends. Your newer then me here and I'm just trying to give you some friendly advice on it. Before others give the same to you in a less then friendly way. Glad you seam to have gotten a handel on things and welcome to LS
DanielMadr Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 there is nothing from my post which would suggest I had issues from not having a father in my life, and Daniel is constantly trolling my posts just to say rude, demeaning comments. An example is that he said I need to relax and that I am 'insecure with myself' because I like to wait a month or longer to get to know someone before I sleep with a guy I'm seeing in another thread. He even said in another thread he doesn't know me so can't make assumptions about me, yet he is making an assumption I have 'daddy' issues? It doesn't compute. So he deserved it, and I don't take it back. Also if you read the rest of the post, I have resolved the pot issue and guy issue and what he said about my dad calling.....and if I will see him again, I even stated I was going to let it go about the phone call, so your post is unnecessary, this thread is over. Let's end it now. thanks. This thread is about your daddy after all init? an I wrote 'sort of'. nevermind. Im sorry to hear about your recent troubles - depressions and that. It is tough thing to go through. And you made it, you can be proud of yourself. Being harsh on you has nothing to do with me liking you or not. I know it is fine to feel support....'You are doing great, the others are just azzholes.'...but the truth can be somewhere in the middle. For example read your thread in here. It sounds you dont like this pothead guy at all. It is enough reason to stop seeing him, you dont need excuses. If you dont like my posts, ignore it and dont call me names. Save your karma.
Author bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 but the daddy issue thing made me feel badly. Yeah I don't know if I'm seeing the guy again, maybe we'll go out just as friends when he gets back and I'll tell him about the job, and it can't get serious anyway. He's a good guy though and fun to be around so maybe he can just be a friend. I am still dealing with the depression, I've never quite experienced anything like it. Since I received this job offer it is a positive step but I still have been going through he** the past few months. That's why I've been spending time on here because I'm not working until August when the new job starts. I'm still deciding if I want to go on antidepressants but I am getting counseling. the one thing I like a lot about this guy I mentioned in this post is that he met me shortly after I lost my job and he has been so supportive. a lot of guys would run for the hills if you told them "well I just lost my job due to the fact that I was in a catatonic state at work due to severe depression." He still wanted to go out with me and said I was a fun person, and a good person, and an intelligent person, and an attractive woman, and he gave me some escape of not thinking of the situation for a while and just let loose and have fun with dating a guy. So even though I'm not really super attached, he has been great to me. Sorry I went on.
DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 but the daddy issue thing made me feel badly. Yeah I don't know if I'm seeing the guy again, maybe we'll go out just as friends when he gets back and I'll tell him about the job, and it can't get serious anyway. He's a good guy though and fun to be around so maybe he can just be a friend. I am still dealing with the depression, I've never quite experienced anything like it. Since I received this job offer it is a positive step but I still have been going through he** the past few months. That's why I've been spending time on here because I'm not working until August when the new job starts. I'm still deciding if I want to go on antidepressants but I am getting counseling. the one thing I like a lot about this guy I mentioned in this post is that he met me shortly after I lost my job and he has been so supportive. a lot of guys would run for the hills if you told them "well I just lost my job due to the fact that I was in a catatonic state at work due to severe depression." He still wanted to go out with me and said I was a fun person, and a good person, and an intelligent person, and an attractive woman, and he gave me some escape of not thinking of the situation for a while and just let loose and have fun with dating a guy. So even though I'm not really super attached, he has been great to me. Sorry I went on. Its OK. Depression is hard to cope with. Only time heals it. Anti-depressants can help overcome the worst symptoms in begining. No need for them now when its better....dont want to be another valium junkie It can take a year to get free of it completely. But it should be breeze. Important is that it is not weakness to fall in depression. When it is too much to cope with, brain just shuts off and tries to solve it racionally thinking it over and over, then a person becomes catatonic. You managed to cut that circle and you are out of it. You are a strong person. It can get only better now plus you now have the experince. The best prevention of depression or phobias and shyt like that is shut off bad thoughts. The best possible way to do this is to be more careless and laught hard stuff off. Dont think too much. Most of thinks cant be solved anyway. And dont be afraid it comes back, it wont if you dont fear it. If I may suggest check your diet, it is good to get some potassium, NaCl (salt) and calcium. Lack of these make neurons malfunction. Drink mineral water or that Isostar and stuff - dont get dehydrated or exhausted. And I would suggest to get off internet. These analyzings and self-analyzings wont do you any good. It is too much thinking about BS problems. And it is time consuming - its better to get some rest or do some outdoor activity. Hold tight and Good luck.
someone2 Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I'd still give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, though. Men are dumb. They say the stupidest things, not realizing how hurtful it could be, and not even knowing why they are saying it. (I am a man btw don't start calling me a feminazi). The other possibility is that he is playing games with you, trying to make you feel bad. This is a game we like to play, but we sometimes go a little bit too far. This is why I say give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he is just dumb :p
Author bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 1st off, someone you may be right. He has said a couple remarks before which weren't the kindest and just kind of out of the blue. Like he did rub in my face a couple times about lost my job, sort of kicking me when I was down. But I'm going to forget, and see what happens, if he even calls when he gets back. Thank you for the advice, Daniel. I do need to get off the internet more. I have been exercising daily, even if it's just a 40 minute brisk walk outside....I agree with your advice and will think about my diet more. I am considering going on antidepressants but my therapist and I want to wait a couple more weeks to see if I can shake it off. I do have to focus on relocating halfway across the country soon, which is a big chore in itself. I'm hoping the new focus might help me shake off the depression. You are very kind, thank you. Have a good evening.
Mary3 Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I think the OP is being too threatning to the bf/date. You know he smokes pot. You can't * change * him by having him NOT smoke it. You can't threaten to do *this and that* if things are not going your way. What ever other millions of imperfections he may have you need to accept him for who he is. Accept him for what he is or leave him. Never go into a relationship with a tool box trying to repair the things you don't like. And never give ultimatums because you might end up the one losing.
Author bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 I disagree. I haven't talked to him about the pot thing yet. He's still on his business trip. But a 40 year old man shouldn't be smoking pot two or more times a week, that's a problem. And it's not threatening, if I tell him I won't date someone who smokes pot, that is just a FACT, not a threat or an ultimatum. So he has to decide. I am worth ditching a nasty, addictive problem over. And it's true, if he won't give it up to date someone as wonderful as me then his loss. I'm so much better than pot. I even asked my therapist about this and he said the same thing. He said "He could date YOU or not smoke pot....hmmm, he would be CRAZY to choose to smoke pot over date someone like you." My therapist said a 40 year old man smoking pot IS a HUGE problem and gave several reasons, and if he's smoking that much, he's probably addicted and way out of the reality zone. anyway we already resolved this whole thing. But thanks anyway, the pot thing wasn't even the issue, it was I was wondering why would he ask if my dad called when I already explained that my dad wasn't a part of my life and hadn't been for years. On top of that I received a high school teaching job offer 2500 miles away and I'm super excited about it, so this guy will be left in the dust anyway and it's all a moot point! p.s. I posted this original post before I got the job offer.
DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 I'd still give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, though. Men are dumb. They say the stupidest things, not realizing how hurtful it could be, and not even knowing why they are saying it. (I am a man btw don't start calling me a feminazi). The other possibility is that he is playing games with you, trying to make you feel bad. This is a game we like to play, but we sometimes go a little bit too far. This is why I say give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he is just dumb :p Speak for yourself you feminazi men-hating woman without tits.
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