Dreamer69 Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 I'm in a rather difficult predicament and am unsure as how to go about....to remedy the situation. I am engaged to a man I love very much and want to spend the rest of my life with. One problem we have with our relationship is we both are very stubborn and don't like to be wrong. However, about three months ago we took on a job to manage an apartment complex together meaning we are together 24/7, which certainly doesn't help with our situation. We on a daily basis get into piddly arguments that escalate into large ones. I love this guy deeply and in my heart wish to be with him forever, but I want us both to have a happy and healthy relationship. With as much as we argue with eachother, are relationship just seems to be at a stalemate if not moving backward. I personally, am a very factual person and like to 'go by the book'. That's just the kind of person I am. A lot of times our arguments are based off of such piddly things such as 'which is closer to the sun Mars or Mercury?' Of course he'll say something like Pluto (of all things) is closer to the sun, or something silly, and be absolutely serious. And because I'm a particular person, it'll drive me crazy so I'll softly correct him, and of course we'll be in a full blown argument within five minutes. I just don't know how to cope with two personalities that are so similar. I just don't think it would be fair to always ignore his outrages remarks about something and pretend he is right. And yet I feel almost obligated to for the sake of saving the relationship. I guess what I'm really looking for is some basic advice on maybe how I should handle such situations and avoid arguments altogether if possible.
kimberlyk Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 You may want to check out couples therapy and learn some new ways of communication...it could only help and better to do it now than to wait for it to get worse. From the way you make it sound, it seems that you two could get along exceptionally well if you could just stop the arguments.
catdee Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 WHy do you feel you have to correct him all the time? Can't you just shrug or laugh it off? I have a boyfriend who's constantly correcting me about the tiniest little things... and the bottom line is WHO CARES if it was 10 past or quarter past three when XYZ happened?! Let it go! I think you should try and relax more and if he says something really outrageous, just laugh, shake your head to show you disagree and change the subject. That way you're not saying you agree with him but you're not causing a fight! Of course you can correct him sometimes, but when someone does it too often it makes you feel annoyed, stupid and embarassed (and even if you know you're probably wrong, you want to stand up for what you said to save face!). I mean are trifling little facts really worth fighting over?
kimberlyk Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 WHy do you feel you have to correct him all the time? Can't you just shrug or laugh it off? I have a boyfriend who's constantly correcting me about the tiniest little things... and the bottom line is WHO CARES if it was 10 past or quarter past three when XYZ happened?! Let it go! I think you should try and relax more and if he says something really outrageous, just laugh, shake your head to show you disagree and change the subject. That way you're not saying you agree with him but you're not causing a fight! Of course you can correct him sometimes, but when someone does it too often it makes you feel annoyed, stupid and embarassed (and even if you know you're probably wrong, you want to stand up for what you said to save face!). I mean are trifling little facts really worth fighting over? Well said Catdee! When it comes down to it, what's more important, winning the argument or your relationship?
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