newtothegame Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 I'm still trying to make heads or tails of my situation. I posted her back last year about a relationship I was having with a co-worker that was emotional and somewhat physical. We are both married and have children, so the complexity is already there. During the beginning of the year, she ended the relationship to focus on her husband and family. As such, I stopped giving her the quality interaction she was accustomed to - we were still friends, but I wasn't going to be what I was to her (I guess putting up my walls to protect both of us). We were supposed to take a company trip together, and she bailed out. During the "down time", it became clear that she was missing our relationship. Within a couple of weeks we were back to where we had been - strong emotional relationship and some limited physical involvement. That just changed on our trip. We commited to a sizeable affair throughout the trip and have just now come back to our "realities", which also make us shift from fifth gear back to second, so to speak. The truth is I love her very much, and have told her so. I am just not sure where she is in all of this. I've heard her tell me many things about how she adores me, that i'm the only one who understands her (and she me), but is not yet ready to tell me she loves me. I think with each encounter we had we both were a little freaked out, but it didn't stop us from coming back for more. We obviously have other considerations in our spouses and children and the impact to their lives, but I struggle to imagine going forward in life without her. This has been going on long enough that I think that we are beyond the newness phase of relationship euphoria. I know the moral commentary awaits this posting, but I'm really just trying to see where her head is at - is her reactions those of someone struggling with real love or just something to placate a dull marriage?
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