wlminfla Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 I was keeping pure NC for the first week of our break up and then she emailed me about being friends... -At first I didn't respond for a week, but then wrote her back about some cool things that I had done and congratulated her on the new house. I figured I should write her back and be nice and genuine since I hadn't been so much during the last six months of the relationship. I mentioned nothing about being friends -Then we text messaged about once a week for two months -We talked on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas -Then talked on the phone once a week in January...again, casual, fun, upbeat -Then she posts to the world on facebook that she's dating someone else (my former roommate) for me to find out. To all of you out there, GO NC for longer than I did. PLEASE!!!!! I feel like I completely screwed myself by showing her that I still cared just by talking to her briefly here and there.
Yamaha Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 She was just justifying in her mind that you were doing OK and it relieved her guilt. You aren't ready to be friends with her yet. Stick with the NC.
Mustang1984 Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Hey, I'm right there with you. My ex did the same thing to me. I finally totally broke off contact about 2 days ago. Well she never talked with me to break up to begin with. Just stopped calling one day after a 5 year relationship. I'm sure you read that in my one posting on here. I'm sorry your ex has been stringing you along like mine. She called me once like a 2 weeks after we broke up to say nothing but horrible hurtful things. Then she called a month later and was all like "why havent you called me and I mis talking to you and stuff." I was like ok maybe shes going to be nice and wants to be friends. Wrong. As soon as I forgive her all she wants to do is talk about how wonderful her new boyfrined is and the inimate things they do. Like I want to hear this. It hurt so bad to hear that stuff. So after that conversation I decided to call it quits. I was starting to feel slighly better but that convo kicked me right back down. So about a month after this I foolishly called her to try again to see what was up. She told me she often regreted breaking up with me and told me some terrible things about her new boyfriend. I felt bad, but angry that even though this guy was a total loser she wanted to be with him when I treated her like a princess. About a month after this convo I get an email from her saying her grandma dies. I wrote back to say I was sorry. I get nothing back. Then I try calling. Nothing. Then I see on myspace shes got a picture o her and her new boyriend. That did it for me. After seeing that a few days ago I decided I couldnt keep hurting myself like that. I decided no convo was best forever. So I know how you feel, becuase I screwed myself over as well. I should have gone no convo with this wierdo ex long ago. How can our ex' expect us to just accept them as freinds and watch them with their new partners. I for one cannot do it, but maybe some people can. For me its torture. My stomache dropped like 1000ft when I saw that picture of her with another guy.
Yamaha Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 all she wants to do is talk about how wonderful her new boyfrined is and the inimate things they do. What a bit*h!!!!! She never was your friend. Your so lucky to be rid of her and you should feel sorry for her new bf, not be angry because he has her. Lucky you....
Author wlminfla Posted March 16, 2007 Author Posted March 16, 2007 I agree, Mustang! What a b**tch :-) Man you will be so much better off someday...and I will too :-)
Zankon Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 I dont know what to tell you... some people can do NC some don't... some just for a while. From my experience when I was in my teens and early 20's, everytime I talked to an ex there was nothing but hurt... mind you I was the dumper 90% of the time. I trully believe that dumper and dumpee feel the same if the love was true. Now (Im 28) when I break up and I just did, when I say tomyself NC I really mean it. My ex and I broke up 2 months ago and I received text messages, blackberry messages, voice message I never answer. She even uses tricks like "I have an important question, can you call me" or "I need to confirm something with you, txt me when you're free" well, guess what I dont wanna know. a Of course when we broke up I made sure that there was nothing left that is common... so to my best guess, there is nothing she can say or give that I would be interested in. Basically you have to convince yourself that NC means I don't know this person, she's a stranger and I'm here enjoying my life and keeping my options open. Don't start looking at her Myspace or whatnot, what's the point? it works for me very well and I hope this helped...
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