what2donow Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I've been reading some books, we've talked about our "issues" for awhile, and then take a break, and we keep going about life like "normal". I just feel like all this work on the relationship is just wearing me out and today I feel like I'm on the verge of a depression or something. I'm finding it harder and harder to put on a happy face for the rest of the world while I'm so sad and empty inside. This is going on over 6 months now, not all that long for an 18 yr marriage I know, but I just feel like I'm drowning. No matter how many times and how many ways I tell my H what is pushing me away, he keeps doing them. He says I have to accept him the way he is. I have really been trying to control my reactions/thoughts. I have been trying to accept certain things. I just don't think I can. Today I can almost feel the strength and resolve to work on this marriage going away. It's just so, so sad...
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 You need to find someone to talk to, get into counselling. Start off with you going on your own so you can sort out your feelings...And, definately try to convince your H to go to marriage counselling. 18 years of a marriage is alot to throw away without both of you trying. Seems he needs that fire lit under his ass - Does he know how serious you are? Does he really understand HOW unhappy you are, enough to leave him?
Author what2donow Posted March 16, 2007 Author Posted March 16, 2007 I do plan on going to IC next month -- I just started a new job and insurance will kick in then. I did find a MC and I thought I'd start going there. Yes, H knows how serious this is. Basically, he says I'm going through a MLC and need to get over it. We did MC for a little before and nothing really happened. I think that counselor's approach wasn't our style. I asked if he would want to go to another and he was hesistant, but said if that's what I need, then he would go for me. I think that's why I'm feeling so down and defeated. I know I've got things to improve on, and I have been working on me. But it's so frustrating and draining. I can almost literally feel myself shutting down every day now. When he seems me down, he gets frustrated. When I talk to him, he gets angry. Then he cries and just asks where his wife has gone.
whichwayisup Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 He needs to go to MC with you, and I'm glad to hear that he'll go - Even hesitantly... You two need to find that middle ground and work from there. Try to recapture that passion, and what brought you two together in the first place. Have you two just gone out for an evening of fun? No serious talking, just laughing and fun? Shoot some pool or go dancing? Maybe it's something that will help right now.
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