Do you believe that if you don't have sex within three dates with a person, you are

[alphamale]

If a woman waits that long to get busy with a man then she is just not that into him.

that is so true PRICILIA....if I don't get some action by the 4th or 5th date then i'm history....I don't play that waiting 3 months game. I've bedded some women on the first or second date a number of times.

[Erik]

Don't try to be cute with me, Bridget. My English is not that bad; I understood what you wrote.

[bridget_jones]

Erik, is that you stereotype your whole country of women. It is NOT societal expecation in your country that women should sleep with men by date three.

[alphamale]

now now ERIK and BJ...kiss and make up

[whichwayisup]

that is so true PRICILIA....if I don't get some action by the 4th or 5th date then i'm history....I don't play that waiting 3 months game. I've bedded some women on the first or second date a number of times.

 

But that's because you're not really interested in a long term relationship. If a woman (or a man) wants a more serious relationship, they don't give it up that soon.

[bridget_jones]

if he got a kiss without sex, he'd be thinking I was leading him on. actually I am feeling a bit excited though. I'd do him a night.

[pricillia]

that is so true PRICILIA....if I don't get some action by the 4th or 5th date then i'm history....I don't play that waiting 3 months game. I've bedded some women on the first or second date a number of times.

 

 

I have waited three months to be with a boyfriend, and quite honestly thinking back, I was just not that attracted to him the way I should have been. The physical connection was so so when it did happen.

 

I guess I am just trying to understand why the OP is not willing to be intimate with this guy?

[Erik]

Bridget, you are the most annoying....

 

You can't even tell the difference between the Netherlands and Denmark, what makes you think I stereotype. You had a Danish girl confirming what I told you, and you called her a liar too.

 

It is obvious to me, that the mere THOUGHT that there are woman in this world not as cramped and frigid as you, is deeply anxiety provoking for you. See a shrink.

[alphamale]

But that's because you're not really interested in a long term relationship.

it depends on the woman....i take each on a case-by-case basis

 

If a woman (or a man) wants a more serious relationship, they don't give it up that soon.

thats totally not true! i've gone out with a number of women who on the 1st date said they're looking for something serious. then I ended up in the sack with them on date #2 or #3. many women want to just LOOK like they the won't give up the booty too quick.

[bridget_jones]

I was simply pointing out that letter-to-elise, your Danish sister, proudly stated that she snagged her boyfriend by sleeping with him the first night she met him, well she originally posted on here about all the problems she was having with said guy being a domineering prick yet she still wants to make it work with him? How much sense does this make?It just would have made more sense to wait to sleep with this guy, get to know him. Since she slept with him, she developed an attachment to him, even though he's a jerk.

I'm not frigid. I get more than you do, Erik. I'm hot.

[pricillia]

But that's because you're not really interested in a long term relationship. If a woman (or a man) wants a more serious relationship, they don't give it up that soon.

 

 

Not true! I know that AM may be in a different mind set... no offense Alpha!

 

I mean who is to say how soon is too soon? I mean I would not just meet a man and then give it up right away no not at all. I do have to get to know him and feel comfortable with him, however if I am attracted to him and it takes a lot for me to be attracted to a man, then I feel comfortable being with him in a intimate way. If I am going to be with a man then the intention is a relationship... how far that goes time will only tell.

 

 

But wouldn't you rather know if you are compatible sexually in the beginning rather then when it is too late?

 

Sex and intamacy is an important part of a relationship!

 

And people break up for many reasons not just because you were with them on the first second or third date...

 

 

ha ha ha I am laughing at myself... it sounds like I really don't like men, when I do... just saying that I am pretty picky is all.

 

But why torture yourself and the man. why is sex such a bad thing?

[whichwayisup]

it depends on the woman....i take each on a case-by-case basis

 

 

thats totally not true! i've gone out with a number of women who on the 1st date said they're looking for something serious. then I ended up in the sack with them on date #2 or #3. many women want to just LOOK like they the won't give up the booty too quick.

 

To your first response.

 

Well, my motto is, never rush a good thing.........

It's fun to lead up to it, fool around and let that intensity build, instead of just banging away so quickly.

 

Each to their own, whatever works I guess!

[bridget_jones]

with them first is not torture.

I respect your opinion, it's something you choose to do, Priscilla. it's just not for a lot of women and men. I choose to wait a while, as Greg Behrendt has suggested. Just because I do this doesn't make me frigid.

[pricillia]

with them first is not torture.

I respect your opinion, it's something you choose to do, Priscilla. it's just not for a lot of women and men. I choose to wait a while, as Greg Behrendt has suggested. Just because I do this doesn't make me frigid.

 

Oh BJ... I never said that it made you fridgid at all. I have waited longer then 2-3 months, and I have not been with many men... just a handfull.

 

I just have learned that for me personally and again I am picky... that I know who I have a connection with and I know who I don't so why should I drag things out when I don't have to.

 

I do get to know someone before I even go out with them... maybe for you and me there is the difference. So if I have had sex on the first or second date it is because I already have that connection.

[bridget_jones]

I have slept with guys sooner, too. It was more aimed at Erik. Because he has categorized me as frigid just because I have stated that the original poster in another post was not in the wrong or leading the guy on for wanting to wait.

[pricillia]

I have slept with guys sooner, too. It was more aimed at Erik. Because he has categorized me as frigid just because I have stated that the original poster in another post was not in the wrong or leading the guy on for wanting to wait.

 

 

Oh ok...

 

I guess that it is a personal choice, but for me personally I have learned that if I make a guy wait then there really isn't anything there to begin with. Emotional and Physical connection are intertwined for me when it comes to the opposite sex.

[Pyro]

playing games and being cruel with someone? Because I choose to wait about 2 months or so, to develop a relationship and emotional connection, does this make me have Victorian ideals? Because Erik has posted that this is true about me because of these things, and also that all Danish women believe that dating is all about having sex and that relationships are pretty much all based on sex and all of us should come to terms with that and just have sex right away.

 

In my opinion, that is not playing games at all or being cruel. Everyone is different and will have various opinions in regards to this subject matter. You have sex when you are ready to have it, simple as that.

[Erik]

You get nothing, Bridget. You judge me by your own narrow yardstick, you've probably never been outside your home town.

 

All right, as you have surmised, B. and I have been over this in VERY great detail:

 

Normally, I'd say that if everybody is grown up and aware of what they are doing, having sex on your first date is no problem. Why should there? I'm honestly flabbergasted! Sex never hurt people. People hurt people.

 

But since I'm not home on the range here, let's say three dates. I mean, we all agree that sex is the direction things should be moving, no? If three dates can't tell you if the guy or the girl is a creep, thirty dates won't either. Waiting for months on end serves no real purpose. B told me something about testing the guy's resolve or dedication or love or whatever, but this is not a good way of doing it. You don't get a clear picture of who you are dating, if the guy is stoned on pent up testoterone.

[tragicglands]

Sex never hurt people. People hurt people.

You sound like a gun lobbyist. I think you seem to be saying that sex is the relationship, whereas the majority of people here see sex as a complement to a relationship. Integral, but not the be-all and end-all. I think you essentially think with your groin.

 

And good luck with that.

[Trialbyfire]

I'll have to disagree with that Erik. Three dates tells you nothing except that he's on his best behaviour because he hasn't gotten any yet. No, sex never killed anyone but if you're not ready for it by the third date because you don't feel you know him well enough, that's okay too.

 

Frigid to me is someone who doesn't enjoy sex at all.

[Erik]

I say sex is an integral part of a relationship, not a complement. And my luck with that has been plain rotten until now, I'm being flamed like Hiroshima.

[Erik]

TBF, yes frigid was uncalled for, I was really p.o'd

 

Heard that, B.? I'm sorry I called you frigid!

[tragicglands]

And my luck with that has been plain rotten until now, I'm being flamed like Hiroshima.

Haha. Bang me before my testosterone eats me alive, baby.

[Erik]

TBF, my answer would be, that I don't think dating in itself makes you ready for sex. No matter how long you date. At some point you have to put your money where your mouth is and just embrace the unknown. It will not be less unknown the longer you date.

[tragicglands]

It will not be less unknown the longer you date.

Oh, come on. There is definitely a correlation between the length of time you know a person, and the chances that they will show you their true colours. Cut the crap, dude.