typical Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 This is going to come out as extremely disorganized so I apologize beforehand.. Its been some time since I have posted on here, and during this time I fear that my mental health has been slipping into some scary places. My boyfriend and I....I dont know...I feel so defeated....and useless....but I am not really sure why... I guess it boils down to a couple of things. *Instead of talking issues out, he sleeps to avoid *He refuses to see anything past his own point of view *He has been procrastinating on major things for 2 years plus now Nevermind. I hate lists. They sound so nitpicky and I just decided Im not in the mood... How about this: I feel like I want to scream and break things every time I enter my house. I feel an empty hollow feeling in my stomach, I feel like I dont matter, like I want to run away and never come back, like I want to rip my hair out, I feel stuck in a little cage, I feel like I want to cry and cry and cry and never stop but no tears come out. I feel like I could go on and on about this.... Yes, I have tried to talk to him about this, but as I said, he sleeps to avoid conversation. What the hell is wrong with me? Is it hormonal?
a4a Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 no if the only time you want to rip out your hair when you come home it seems it would be because you hate your house or your bf is not meeting your needs. The guy sounds like he is depressed and not a good partner. It is not your job to fix him.... that is his job.
JackJack Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 *Instead of talking issues out, he sleeps to avoid *He refuses to see anything past his own point of view *He has been procrastinating on major things for 2 years plus now Nevermind. I hate lists. They sound so nitpicky and I just decided Im not in the mood... How about this: I feel like I want to scream and break things every time I enter my house. I feel an empty hollow feeling in my stomach, I feel like I dont matter, like I want to run away and never come back, like I want to rip my hair out, I feel stuck in a little cage, I feel like I want to cry and cry and cry and never stop but no tears come out. I feel like I could go on and on about this.... Yes, I have tried to talk to him about this, but as I said, he sleeps to avoid conversation. What the hell is wrong with me? Is it hormonal? I don't think its you, its him. But with him avoiding things, it can make itseem like its you. With everything you mentioned above, with how he is acting, and the way you are feeling, and the fact you have talked with him, and nothing seems to have really changed, what do you feel you need to do? BTW, welcome back.
Author typical Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 BTW, welcome back. Thanks! no if the only time you want to rip out your hair when you come home it seems it would be because you hate your house or your bf is not meeting your needs. I think you might be right on this...And that is one of the things he is procrastinating on, has been for 2 years already, finding different living arrangements. He keeps us running around in circles for nothing, he wont commit to anything at all with regards to a different place but he has us chasing after different places and the end result is always the same as it has been for 2 plus years now, and I am feeling very very weary of it all. We cant possibly live where we are now for much longer for a multitude of reasons. Why does he do this? Why does he chase down leads only to say (many times RIGHT BEFORE we even go to look at a certain place) that he doesnt think he wants to do it because it is too expensive? And then still go??? Why does he spend all of our time and energy for no reason??!! I dont get it...Do any of you?? It frustrates me to tears.
Author typical Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 Indesiciveness? Not sure. I was wondering if perhaps it could be that and then a bit of control freak added to the mix, like, denying me something he knows I want just because he holds the key... Because he does hold things over my head, using things as "goals" to get me to complete certain tasks..It worked for a bit until I realized that the tasks to be completed only benefitted him, and the reward for reaching the goal never happened. For instance, telling me I needed to do a better job scrubbing the floors if I wanted to live in a better place, or cleaning the bathroom every single day is a good idea if I wanted out of here...He almost had me.. Well, anyway, thanks for the help. I guess I will just go read a book now and stuff all of my feelings inside until I decide to do something about it. I was just incredibly sad and frustrated and feeling as if everyone else around me is making progress but not me. Now I feel a little better getting it out.
a4a Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I was wondering if perhaps it could be that and then a bit of control freak added to the mix, like, denying me something he knows I want just because he holds the key... Because he does hold things over my head, using things as "goals" to get me to complete certain tasks..It worked for a bit until I realized that the tasks to be completed only benefitted him, and the reward for reaching the goal never happened. For instance, telling me I needed to do a better job scrubbing the floors if I wanted to live in a better place, or cleaning the bathroom every single day is a good idea if I wanted out of here...He almost had me.. Well, anyway, thanks for the help. I guess I will just go read a book now and stuff all of my feelings inside until I decide to do something about it. I was just incredibly sad and frustrated and feeling as if everyone else around me is making progress but not me. Now I feel a little better getting it out. OMG.........tell him if he gets off his azz and stops snoozing you may not stab him in the head with a fork..... see if that motivates him. This guy is a wanker! controls you, and is a like a cement block while you try to tread water. Do yourself a favor..... dump him. OR You can send him to my house for a week and I will have him lick my floors clean in exchange for allowing him a meal of moldy bread and a drink out of the toilet bowl.
JackJack Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Well, anyway, thanks for the help. I guess I will just go read a book now and stuff all of my feelings inside until I decide to do something about it. I was just incredibly sad and frustrated and feeling as if everyone else around me is making progress but not me. Now I feel a little better getting it out. Its ok to get it out in the open nothing wrong with that. Sounds like you have pretty much done what you need to, now its up to him to hold up his in of the deal.
Author typical Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 OMG.........tell him if he gets off his azz and stops snoozing you may not stab him in the head with a fork..... see if that motivates him. This guy is a wanker! controls you, and is a like a cement block while you try to tread water. Do yourself a favor..... dump him. OR You can send him to my house for a week and I will have him lick my floors clean in exchange for allowing him a meal of moldy bread and a drink out of the toilet bowl. :lmao: Thanks you guys! Life is not meant to be taken so seriously I guess....I will try the lighthearted approach for a bit, and if that doesnt work, I will take you up on your offer, a4a. Or else stab him in the head with a rusty fork.
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