lynx79 Posted March 14, 2007 Posted March 14, 2007 Hi from Scotland eveyone. I have been reading all the post on here since I began my affair with MM just over 4 months ago,a lot of what I have read has help me through all the hard times with mm to the point of our break up, I ended it 1 week ago and I am finding it really difficult to not get in contact, So far I have managed to get through today without crying lol. Does it get easier, will I stop hurting so much and what do I do if he contacts me again. I'm so confused. I know I have done the right thing so why does my heart feel so bad. I miss him so much, we spoke everyday and messaged each other constantly though the day and night. I feel like my right arm has been cut off. I just need to write down how I am feeling, I never ever though I would get myself envolved with a MM, Never say never I guess. Lynx
sb129 Posted March 14, 2007 Posted March 14, 2007 Course it gets easier Lynx! Most OW aren't OW by choice....! You will be fine.... I learnt alot from being the OW.... grew up alot too.
overandout Posted March 14, 2007 Posted March 14, 2007 Hi Lynx79 and welcome to the forum. So 4 months isn't long to be in an affair. Why did you end it, how did you end it and what was his reaction? I think it is good that you are getting out now as some OW (myself included) have been in affairs for several years and are in the same position as if the affair had started yesterday. Let me tell you it is a lonely existence. When I was sick he never called to ask how I was. When I mentioned this to him he said he didn't have time to call--in 2 weeks!. This is just plain crap--he doesn't care, can't be bothered because it's not going to net him any sex. If you two were contacting each other every day you will miss that connection if you have suddenly stopped. It is like breaking a habit. Deep down do you want him to call you and if he did what will you do? I get the feeling that you may not want it to be over. It depends on why you ended it really-4 months isn't very long to be expecting him to make you a commitment. If it is over in your mind and he contacts you, just ask him to respect NC so that you can get on with your life. But it is better to get out now then years down the line. If I had my time over again, I would have left after 4 days let alone 4 months!
sadbuttrue Posted March 14, 2007 Posted March 14, 2007 lynx, i have to believe that it will get better for you. a R with a MM is terribly stressful and trying. you will find happiness one day with a SG that will love only you. i know it must be hard to let go of something you felt was so special to you. good luck
scaredinlove Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Hi from Scotland eveyone. I have been reading all the post on here since I began my affair with MM just over 4 months ago,a lot of what I have read has help me through all the hard times with mm to the point of our break up, I ended it 1 week ago and I am finding it really difficult to not get in contact, So far I have managed to get through today without crying lol. Does it get easier, will I stop hurting so much and what do I do if he contacts me again. I'm so confused. I know I have done the right thing so why does my heart feel so bad. I miss him so much, we spoke everyday and messaged each other constantly though the day and night. I feel like my right arm has been cut off. I just need to write down how I am feeling, I never ever though I would get myself envolved with a MM, Never say never I guess. Lynx Lynx don't look back otherwise you end up like me 4 yrs later hurt and unable to break up. You will be OK! hang in there.
Jinxx Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 It does get easier. You just need time to work through all of your emotions. Be thankful you only let yourself get involved for four months. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave.
puddleofmud Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Hi Scotland! The time frame may or may not really matter because intense feelings can be the issue and sometimes when the feelings are the most intense is the hardest time to leave. Venture to guess that something significant "helped" you decide that this R isn't for you? Whatever that may be; stick to it. Trust those of us who have been through this: if you aren't feeling well you won't feel any better later. The R with a MM just gets more complicated, confusing and frustrating. Hang in there and post when you need as you have support here.
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