dahlia Posted December 1, 2002 Posted December 1, 2002 My boyfriend is a liar. He is a game player and gets a kick out of seeing people at their worst. Since he feels so bad about himself. I am wondering, has anyone figured these type of people out yet? Just wondering if anyone else knows why these people ruin other people's lives and get a kick out of it? It is sociopathy? Is it just boredom? I don't understand why I let these people in my life. I just want to move forward and learn from my mistakes. But, if someone would be so kind, please tell me what the telltale sign are of somone who just likes to play people. This way I'll be wiser and not make this same mistake again.
Patty Posted December 1, 2002 Posted December 1, 2002 My boyfriend is a liar. He is a game player and gets a kick out of seeing people at their worst. Since he feels so bad about himself. Have a serious talk with him or get yourself out of the relationship. I am wondering, has anyone figured these type of people out yet? Just wondering if anyone else knows why these people ruin other people's lives and get a kick out of it? It is sociopathy? Is it just boredom? It must be boredom.Just dont let it get to you.If you do they will do it more. I don't understand why I let these people in my life. I just want to move forward and learn from my mistakes. But, if someone would be so kind, please tell me what the telltale sign are of somone who just likes to play people. This way I'll be wiser and not make this same mistake again. Move forward and get out of the relationship if its that bad.Sometimes bad experiences teach us lessons. Patty
Grand76 Posted December 1, 2002 Posted December 1, 2002 Move on. Honesty is key. Someone better is waiting for you. Players will get played themselves eventually. Then they will attempt reconciliation. If you let them back in, you'll have no one else to blame.
Ally Boo Posted December 4, 2002 Posted December 4, 2002 You probably think in some strange way, that you can help guys like this. Women just want to be needed....and to help, its the way we were made.
Grand76 Posted December 5, 2002 Posted December 5, 2002 You can't help players. If my previous message conveyed a different meaning, I apologize. This may get me into a flame war, but where do I go to meet those women who want to be needed? The last two women I dated "didn't want a relationship, just fun." Another one had a "net worth" test, which I would've passed, but since I refused to cooperate she didn't want to have anything to do with me... Which makes me wonder, can women be players too?
katybird Posted December 5, 2002 Posted December 5, 2002 I don't know enough about this guy's brand of BS to tell you the warning signs. What I'd suggest is reading some Self Help books for people in bad relationships. Like, maybe something on relationships with verbal abuse, or men who cheat, or something that sounds like it might apply to you. You'll get more insight on the bad behavior and that should help you spot them in the future. I have a LONG list of things I know are bad - that I've learned from hard experience - but I don't always heed the signs. In my last experience, it was a man I'd been attracted to at work. I developed a huge crush on him and really looked up to him. We didn't get together until it was clear that I'd soon be leaving that job. By that time, I liked him so much that I ignored the warning signs. In retrospect: On our first conversation outside of work, one of the very first things he talked about was resentment against women who do this or that. The red flag was there, and I was aware of it ("this guy has resentment issues) but I ignored it because I was already gone on him. Later that night, he made a stupid, jeuvenile sexual joke wth a friend. It wasn't appealing to me, but I chose to ignore it. It took time for me to discover that he was an entirely different person outside of his work situation. By that time, I was emotionally invested in him. I had a hard time getting over my initial fantasy of him. Still, the warning signs WERE there very early. Signs that I chose to ignore: 1. Numerous mentions of the ex who had done him wrong, and attendent resentment. This is a HUGE red flag - means they're angry little mofo's. 2. I once asked him if he'd ever hit a woman, and he said that he had. He indicated that it happened during some horrble fight, when she followed him through the house and badgered him for hours. He never hit me, but it still showed anger and resentment in his past. 3. Jokes of a juevenile sexual nature. He's got sexual issues that manifested themselves in peculiar ways. 4. He told me "Look, I'm damaged goods." He'd say that that was his way of warning me away. In my experience, you should absolutely believe every bad thing a man tells you about himself. Take the sweet talk with a grain of salt - but if he says there's something wrong with him, he's going to use it in the future "I TOLD you I was damaged!" Most women react by thinking "Well, I can love him better than his ex did and he'll b e OK with me." Not true.
Kat Posted December 5, 2002 Posted December 5, 2002 I was with a guy. He used to joke about having sex with other women (ie walking down the st and saying "I would F*** that"). Used to beat people up at random and was a complete and utter dickhead to his parents and me. But when he was in trouble he could talk his way out. I left him over two years ago now and he still sends little messages to me. It is obvious he is not over me. Look who is in control now, and guess who is the little puppy./ Sick really. You do not need him, Leave now, Please!
Grand76 Posted December 6, 2002 Posted December 6, 2002 I may be breaking some unwritten guy-code-of-behavior by saying this, but juvenile sexual jokes, comments and innuendos are meant to feel the particular woman out as to her "openness to suggestions" in that direction. In nine times out of ten. The other time it's just juvenile behavior, but that ends at about 16-17, at which point everything said becomes very calculated. For example, had Kat said "she wasn't bad looking" in response, the next thing would be a series of questions probing her views on all her and his female friends. Also, any guy with a sliver of intelligence knows mentioning any ex g/f on one's own is a road that shouldn't be traveled. So if he brings up the topic, run and run quickly... I may be somewhat venting here, but I've maintained good relationships with all three women. They are all good people, but it just wasn't meant to be between us. However, if the guy gets asked the "ex" question, be ready for what he's going to say. As you know, not all break-ups are amicable, and some guys have feelings.
Recommended Posts