Freedom Now Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Oh, geez: there seems to be a rash of EX-MM contacting their EX's after a long period of time! I expected to hear from him in a couple of months.... Today, I received an email from him. It was benign...telling me that he is continually amazed by my honesty, kindness, and strength. He said that he hoped that I was healing. (What a guy!) I am ok. For the first time after receiving contact, I am ok. And there will be no return contact from me. There is simply nothing left to say. (Sorry for the TJ, Chapter2...)
Author Chapter2 Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 Its not a TJ at all...completely applicable for you as well. When a person has moved on in their heart, they do not think of contact or certainly initiate contact in any form. There is no way that he can have contact with you and also be fully devoted to restoration with his wife. It doesn't matter if his email is simply telling you that rain is wet... respect for her means no contact with you and he cannot maintain either. The words of his email may have been benign but they were as subtle as sending you a neon sign that says WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T FORGET ME!!!!! Their lives are a mess. I expected to hear from him in a couple of months.... Today, I received an email from him. It was benign...telling me that he is continually amazed by my honesty, kindness, and strength. He said that he hoped that I was healing. (What a guy!) I am ok. For the first time after receiving contact, I am ok. And there will be no return contact from me. There is simply nothing left to say. (Sorry for the TJ, Chapter2...)
Author Chapter2 Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 Hi Woe, I read your thread a few weeks ago when you received this call...I was absolutely sick for you. I know exactly what you mean about the stress...it literally wreaks havoc on your body and your mind. I'm so sorry he put you through that. I would love to hear that you are doing better He has obviously chosen the path of least resistance which is to sit in the known. I am encouraged, however, that prior to his most recent intrusion your frame of mind was fantastic. That is such an encouragement! You will get there again. They need to continue to be fully immersed in their life choice...it is very, very sad. They continue to be haunted by what could have been. For what it's worth...I'm really proud of you. You're an encouragement to those of us that are not as far out. C2 I was where you're at one month ago Chapter. A call after 4 years of no contact. I hope you're okay .. i've lost over half a stone in weight and i think i've skipped a monthly.. (never has that happened to me and i haven't done anything to cause pregnancy).. i can't believe mere stress has done that to me!! Hang in there ..he will play you for as long as he can i guess ..or as long as you let him. I know my frame of mind was fantastic prior to his call out of the blue and i just want to be there again ..he was nothing more than a fond memory and/or could've been dead for all i knew! I think i've caused a D day of sorts by calling his home phone back 5 days after he called me. He didn't know i had the number. And if the marriage/house/kids are all so important to him still.. then he really wouldn't care would he. Even though he is thinking about me four years later. I'm obviously still not worth being honest about. I have no idea what's gone on at his end and he isn't letting me know but 'somethings' happened. I'm just trying to get on with my life again Good Luck Chapter.. let them stay in their misery.
Author Chapter2 Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 OE I am so glad you still pop in every now and again. Your prior posts have gotten me through some very tough times and have really encouraged me in my NC journey. You are legendary on these boards. This has been the fight of my life and his intrusion feels no less surprising than someone sticking their foot out to trip me. There is a contradiction in my heart and mind... I would like to PM you if I may. C2 He contacted you because he wanted to test the waters, see your reaction, and start up an affair with you once again. You blindsided him by being possibly the only OW in his life to ever take such drastic steps to get away from him, and..."scumbag" that he may be as many have said here, you impressed him.... Furthermore, he is comparing such boldness with what he has at home. He has no respect for his wife (and she little self-respect or would not tolerate such a situation for an hour more). He has respect for you, possibly the first woman in his life for whom he has realized such feelings. A woman who is such a force of nature no man forgets. Now, you know the rules: No contact unless he is a thoroughly divorced man. (And of course, assuming you would want him, but methinks you still carry a torch for him). No contact--I repeat--because you will fall back to Square One having come so far, so beautifully. Just stay strong and keep that in mind. Some wonderful (single) guy deserves someone with your strength. xo OE:D
OldEurope Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Dear Chapter 2, Merely--oh so merely--trying to help where I can for the international seductress community Mais oui you can PM me anytime.....We have to prepare you for however Chapter 3 turns out...carefully.... I am in Italy...so remember it might be some time before I get back to you.... You and Freedom Now, by the way, seem to have had enormous positive influence with each other and it is great to read about such a supportive friendship. xo OE
Freedom Now Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 Old Europe, I met Chapter2 through LS this time last year. And since then, we have developed a bond that I have never before experienced. Through the incredible valleys we both experienced in the last year, we always could count on each other for support and acceptance. Never once did we waver. And even though we live on opposite sides of the United States, we are with each other in spirit, helping each other up every step of the way. When she is weak, I am strong. And when I am weak, she is strong. Sisters in crisis. That's what we used to call each other. But now that the crises seem to have come and gone for the most part (except for when those pesky xMM contact us), we now just call each other "sisters." She has been a tremendous blessing in my life, for she UNDERSTANDS as someone who as walked through the fire would. And our friendship is proof that good can come out of bad. Through the horrific, gut-wrenching experiences of being involved with our MM, we found each other. And that is the most beautiful silver lining I've found in this turbulent, black cloud of loving my MM. Chapter2 has been my rock.
woe_is_me Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I had a dream last night..not one that woke me up or anything..but it came back to me a few minutes after waking - we were back together again and all we could do was kiss and hug we somehow ended up on his bed and his W was just lying there ( i dont even know what his wife and bed look like) and he and i were hugging and kissing sooo much (there was no nakedness anywhere thank god) that we fell off the bed - i don't remember anymore but im annoyed that he's visiting my subconscious.. is there no escape from this guy?? And thank you so much Chapter2 for your kind and encouraging words although im sure i would've been of more value to this site prior to his call out of the blue.. i didn't know LS existed though.. i wasn't looking or needing support from anywhere or anyone until he called.. i was fine! lol yes ladies..you DO move on TIME is a great healer even love songs lose their connection! I'm left wondering why HE didn't move on though... A lot of what you write Chapter2 ..hits home when he called i just mostly listened..he kept firing questions at me and i felt like i'd lost my mind.. I had a little chuckle at your 'rain is wet' statement (one musn't lose ones sense of humor in times like these) And about MM sticking his foot out to trip you up..? Thats an understatment.. i feel like its more been shot with a gun? maybe a crossbow through the heart? Also when u wrote about "WHATEVER YOU DO DON"T FORGET ME" i just thought to myself 'wow..thats exactly what he's doing'. Old Europe? I had a big LOL@ international seductress community..very funny indeed! Thanks for the laughs im off to stumble through another day..and most importantly thanks to you ALL for just being here
movinon05 Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Chapter 22222222222222222222!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of you!!!!!! This is the woman I knew was in there!!!! And you never wrote me back, you little stinker! lol!!!!! As OE said, Chapter 3. Chapter 3!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Chapter2 Posted March 16, 2007 Author Posted March 16, 2007 Bless you MO... Please don't be too proud:o I wanted so badly to be able to say this hasn't affected me but it really has. Apathy has not taken residence in my heart and I am pretty disappointed in myself about that. I long not to care in any way...not anger...not love...just...nothing. I'm not there yet. I continue to have the illusion that even though reality suggests otherwise, this man is living happily ever after. I was doing very well (for me) before he decided to grant me permission to continue on with my life. I'm glad to see you here MO...it almost feels like the old gang is back:) Chapter 22222222222222222222!!!!!!!!! I'm so proud of you!!!!!! This is the woman I knew was in there!!!! And you never wrote me back, you little stinker! lol!!!!! As OE said, Chapter 3. Chapter 3!!!!!!!!!!!!
Freedom Now Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Yep, the gang's all here... And I love it! And MO, love you too!
BenThereDunThat Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 OK, I don't know about the whole gang being here....BUT...can I just tell you that I met TY freaking PENNINGTON tonight???!!! And, can I also tell you that he is JUST AS HOT in PERSON as he is on TV??? (yep, I'm a little buzzed....) I got a picture (or 2 or 3) if anyone wants to see!
BenThereDunThat Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Gonna change the avvie now and go to bed...before I get into trouble.... AAAHHHH!!!! (sorry, just had to get that out, cuz you know, I acted all cool and nonchalant in front of him....)
movinon05 Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Bless you MO... Please don't be too proud:o I wanted so badly to be able to say this hasn't affected me but it really has. Apathy has not taken residence in my heart and I am pretty disappointed in myself about that. I long not to care in any way...not anger...not love...just...nothing. I'm not there yet. I continue to have the illusion that even though reality suggests otherwise, this man is living happily ever after. I was doing very well (for me) before he decided to grant me permission to continue on with my life. I'm glad to see you here MO...it almost feels like the old gang is back:) Well wasn't that just so big of him! Did you thank him profoundly?? Ch2, you WILL get there!!! Have faith, Sweetie! You know my exMM dropped back in my life after a year and threw me into a frenzy! But I came here and sought help from the girls. I wish he would call so I could ream him a new a-hole! But nah, he's not worth it. You will get to the point that you won't care if he really IS living happily ever after. Because by then, YOU will be in a better place. Have faith girlfriend. Ease yourself into Chapter 3.
movinon05 Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 OK, I don't know about the whole gang being here....BUT...can I just tell you that I met TY freaking PENNINGTON tonight???!!! And, can I also tell you that he is JUST AS HOT in PERSON as he is on TV??? (yep, I'm a little buzzed....) I got a picture (or 2 or 3) if anyone wants to see! I am jealous beyond words!!!!!!!!!! What a hottie!!!!!!!!! BTW, it was not yet time to change your avatar!
BenThereDunThat Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 I am jealous beyond words!!!!!!!!!! What a hottie!!!!!!!!! BTW, it was not yet time to change your avatar! He is just as hot in person!! I wish he would hurry up and figure out that he fell in love with me! lol (or at least come makeover MY house!) Sorry for the t/j last night gals, I got a little carried away.
puddleofmud Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 He is just as hot in person!! I wish he would hurry up and figure out that he fell in love with me! lol (or at least come makeover MY house!) Sorry for the t/j last night gals, I got a little carried away. Please don't apologize: part of moving forward is being a "carried away; HAPPY person". Bless the hotttt Mr. Tye if he made you feel a bit carried away because as we all know, ooooh so very very well, we can't be "carted away" we have to walk on with our own two feet, but some inspiration is most FINE, isn' it? I am certain "he" adored you and is thinking of you in his every waking moment. If not, well, too bad, he's soooo without....
puddleofmud Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Very sorry, CH 2 that I hijacked! Tye made me do it...that's it...Tye made me do it!
Recommended Posts