Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I would say he's done... if a man really wants to be with you, there isn't anything that would stop him from contacting you... I soooo agree with statement and it rings true with almost all guys.. It is amazing to me that you are willing to take a half relationship and being treated as a backburner girl rather than expect to be put on the front burner.. and I don't mean with his job.. ( that is just an excuse ) I mean with other girls... I'm sure there are more girls than you that he is dating otherwise you would be getting the calls.. A guy can be busy on his job but if there is a girl that has his interest or his attention then she gets his full on attention while doing his job
a4a Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 I soooo agree with statement and it rings true with almost all guys.. It is amazing to me that you are willing to take a half relationship and being treated as a backburner girl rather than expect to be put on the front burner.. and I don't mean with his job.. ( that is just an excuse ) I mean with other girls... I'm sure there are more girls than you that he is dating otherwise you would be getting the calls.. A guy can be busy on his job but if there is a girl that has his interest or his attention then she gets his full on attention while doing his job I concur...... you will be on his brain and he would attempt contact even if it was just a 3 second hello via voice mail.
Author roxxi Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 Ha! You know, I just realized that the thread title had been changed from what I originally put down. Interesting.... Anyway, I'm really sorry you had to go through that, but it sounds like you came out a stronger person, and it's definitely his loss. We're back to talking now, and I'm trying to be more supportive and enourage him to open up to me about what's on his mind. Chances are pretty high that I'll run into him again and I don't want things to be awkward when we do. One thing I just learned from his past relationship was that his gf resented his work and the amount of time he spent there. I think that was part of the reason he's been so guarded because he assumed I'd be the same way. If I were looking for a serious relationship now I would walk away, but I'm not looking for that. I can see that he clearly loves his job and I respect that he wants that to be a priority because he's trying to earn a major promotion. Right now, I'm trying to find a way to gain his trust and get him to open up to me more. I want to build a friendship first.. If it doesn't lead to a relationship, I'm ok with that. with your thread title, I thought it was mine that I had started a while ago resurrected... and looky there, it's the first one in the "similar threads" section below where I'm typing. He disappeared too, just stopped calling after 4 months of daily contact. He was newly separated and had many issues, but was always so attentive... anyway, he just stopped calling and emailing overnight. yea I wondered like you (you can see the thread), but in the long run he changed his mind... I guess I still do not know to this day. But I did have a run-in with him a month after contact ended... I didn't stop to speak to him, saw him out of the corner of my eye and kept going... man-o-man, did I get a ticked off voice mail from him... he just could not understand how I didn't stop to talk to him... I would say he's done... if a man really wants to be with you, there isn't anything that would stop him from contacting you... I'm sorry, it sucks to be left hanging and wondering, I know, I'm still trying to figure out what happened!
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 So... you think you can change him instead ?? How is that going to work ? You have made nothing but a bunch of excuses for why he is the way he is.. Well... He is that way.. period.. You cannot change him and it goes back to the fact that if you were tripping his trigger he would be all over you.. Time to move on...
Author roxxi Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 I soooo agree with statement and it rings true with almost all guys.. It is amazing to me that you are willing to take a half relationship and being treated as a backburner girl rather than expect to be put on the front burner.. and I don't mean with his job.. ( that is just an excuse ) I mean with other girls... I'm sure there are more girls than you that he is dating otherwise you would be getting the calls.. A guy can be busy on his job but if there is a girl that has his interest or his attention then she gets his full on attention while doing his job Well, I am seeing someone else in all honesty so if he is too (although I'll bet he isn't) it'll be no surprise to me. As I said, my biggest concern was keeping his friendship more than anything else.
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 As I said, my biggest concern was keeping his friendship more than anything else. why ?? are you trying to backburner him ?.. in order for that to happen he has to want you first.
Author roxxi Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 I don't want to change him. On the contrary, I like exactly who he is, career-driven and all. He just assumed I would do as his girlfriend did and give him an ultimatum. Choose your job or me. When he told me that I was floored because I had no idea about what happened in his relationship or that he was under the assumption that I was going to do the same thing. I would never give anyone an ultimatum about anything andt I told him my issue was not with his working long hours but just having to wonder if he was dead in a ditch somewhere. So... you think you can change him instead ?? How is that going to work ? You have made nothing but a bunch of excuses for why he is the way he is.. Well... He is that way.. period.. You cannot change him and it goes back to the fact that if you were tripping his trigger he would be all over you.. Time to move on...
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 He just assumed I would do as his girlfriend did and give him an ultimatum. Choose your job or me. As someone who has heard that one before I can tell you that the job always wins.. but I always had time for plenty of GF's while I was building my career.. The ones that said that just wanted marriage and I wasn't ready for that at the time.. Good Luck with him... but I would be careful and to not misinterpret his signals.. he won't blow you off with words.. he will use subtle actions and you need to be able to see those.
Author roxxi Posted March 15, 2007 Author Posted March 15, 2007 Absolutely AC, and I'm just as career-driven. The last time I was given such an ultimatum I walked away. I'm definitely not ready for marriage and maybe that's why I feel so comfortable with him because he's looking for fun and companionship too. I'm no fool, that could change for both of us at some point, but our relationship could also grow stronger too. Maybe I'm the rebound girl...maybe not. I'm taking things one a day at a time, but I still feel it's worth a shot. As someone who has heard that one before I can tell you that the job always wins.. but I always had time for plenty of GF's while I was building my career.. The ones that said that just wanted marriage and I wasn't ready for that at the time.. Good Luck with him... but I would be careful and to not misinterpret his signals.. he won't blow you off with words.. he will use subtle actions and you need to be able to see those.
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