Author shecat28 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 So get this...he calls last night to say goodnight to our baby. I pick up the phone and he's talking to some chick at his place. I couldn't help myself..I wrote to him and told him to have some couth if it was possible. I hate him...he just moved on so quickly, no qualms about flaunting it either. I hate that he doesn't even have a mourning period...for him it's just ...NEXT!
Gunny376 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I know people are thinking "rebound" but this is different. DANGER! DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! this is different. Print this off and get back with me in three years! Jezzz! Buy you books, pencils, send you to school ~ and you still don't know nuthin'!
Gunny376 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 ...he just moved on so quickly, no qualms about flaunting it either. I hate that he doesn't even have a mourning period...for him it's just ...NEXT! The sooner your recognize that this guy doesn't have a heart ~ just a thumping gizzard, the better off you'll be! Don't let him get in your kitchen (head) ~
AHIWON Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Gunny you are right. I had to back out, no way am I ready. I flat out told her I wasn't ready which is the truth and she is ok with that. I have a new female friend at least. Perhaps she will be available later when I am, if not thats ok too. No matter what I will be happy.
MoonGirl Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Moongirl, if you're around...he warned me not to use any of his money to pay for more schooling for myself...how dare I try to better myself...I have an appointment with a new therapist next week...Things have got to get better...I can see the wrinkles and bags appearing as I type! HIS money? When you're married it is YOUR money too. Have you seen your therapist yet? I hope things are getting better for you.
Author shecat28 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Gunny...you're right...he has no heart. I couldn't help but lash out today and told him in an email that I hope one of these whores breaks his tiny little heart slowly after she plays him for all his money. Moongirl....seeing a new therapist tomorrow afternoon. I have so much hatred inside me right now. Good call Awihon, on taking things slowly. I think just regaining self esteem and a sense of individuality is a great start. I'm hoping to get there myself soon.
stace79 Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 I'm really sorry you're going through this. Thankfully I wasn't married to anyone, but I can only imagine how you are feeling....being in love with someone that at the same time you really hate. It's so conflicting and just tears you up. I wish I had better words of wisdom, but I am still solving my own problems. I just hope you know there are (obviously from this site) tons of people out there going through similar things and here to listen.
Author shecat28 Posted March 27, 2007 Author Posted March 27, 2007 so my guy says one thing somewhat civil to me today and of course I melt, even right after i saw the therapist and he told me to keep my sanity, i cannot be with him ever again...he's done way too much damage. I'm sicker than I thought I was. It's been almost a month and it still kills me to imagine someone else with him, even though he's a selfish, fake, abusive prick...
AHIWON Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Shecat I was the exact same way, not wanting to imagine my SO with some one else, now I don't care. Don't fall for that snippet of him being nice, you know it's fake. Just keep thinking about your self and how you will one day have someone who you truly deserve. Not that selfish, fake abusive prick. Keep your chin up and think good things about yourself. What you have to offer to a real man. What you have to offer to yourself. Your new found freedom. You can do anything you want now.
Author shecat28 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 ahiwon...i'm amazed at how quickly you recovered from your relationship.. I have been really good about not calling him, or checking his phone messages or his e-mail..all things I would've done in the past... I saw a new therapist today...an hour is just not long enough to explain the damage done and life that I've been robbed of...I have no interest in finding a new man, love, relationship...NOTHING! I hate to say it, but all I want to do is get my revenge. But my revenge is different...I don't want to hurt him or withhold his kid from him or anything like that...I just want to look good, be successful in my career, and at least appear to be happy. He thinks I need him to be happy, he thinks that I can't make it financially on my own, and he also thinks that he's stolen so much of my self esteem and individuality that I would probably never feel secure and confident about myself again. I truly want to prove him wrong. He's trying to be civil and attempting to talk to me like we're still friends. He can go F**K himself. He has hurt me so badly that he is not worthy of my friendship. God...I can't shake the resentment, the anger, the bitterness. I want so badly for him to regret, regret, regret! Yet I'm not sure that's possible, with no heart or conscience.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I saw a new therapist today...an hour is just not long enough to explain the damage done and life that I've been robbed of...I have no interest in finding a new man, love, relationship...NOTHING! I k now that feeling. Mine likes to abuse by accusing me of sleeping with every man insight. (There's transferance for ya!) I went for a walk (so the construction guys could check me out). Any man I speak to or even those I don't see I want to f*(*&! Its crazy to me how he thinks I could EVER want another man! I don't realy believe in romantic love so I won't look for it anymore than I stay up to see if santa will come. I just want not to be treated badly and screamed at or pushed or accused of everything under the sun INCLUDING being responsible of his actions (which he calls reactions). Becareful of being happy around him though, THAT makes them even madder. You don't deserve to be happy. Its all about them. You want to make him chill out, then pretend to be miserable. ARRRGGGHHH!!!! I had no conflicts with him last night and was actually able to sleep!
AHIWON Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Hi Shecat, I wouldn't say I'm recovered but I am moving along at a nice pace that I am able to notice. Everyone else in my life sees it too. The biggest milestone I think was when I realized I and I alone was responsible for my own happiness. When that finally sunk into my thick skull, it was like 1000lbs had been lifted off my chest. Now I have something to motivate me. I did the same thing with trying to find some morsel of remorse or regret in my SO but I didn't and couldn't. It was a complete waste of time on my part. She doesn't have a conscience. For years I thought she had psychopathic tendencies. Now it appears more narcissistic. Really I don't know and may never understand. The best thing to do is not worry about your xSO at all. It won't change the outcome at all, just make you feel bad and extend your grieving. Concentrate on yourself and yourself only. Once you get to the stage where you feel good about yourself, he has no control over you. There is something to strive for. Don't think of it as revenge, think about it in terms of doing something good for yourself. An added benefit is he will be upset seeing you happy but don't let that be your motivator. Who cares what he thinks, he is sub-human anyway.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Hi Shecat, I wouldn't say I'm recovered but I am moving along at a nice pace that I am able to notice. Everyone else in my life sees it too. The biggest milestone I think was when I realized I and I alone was responsible for my own happiness. When that finally sunk into my thick skull, it was like 1000lbs had been lifted off my chest. Now I have something to motivate me. I did the same thing with trying to find some morsel of remorse or regret in my SO but I didn't and couldn't. It was a complete waste of time on my part. She doesn't have a conscience. For years I thought she had psychopathic tendencies. Now it appears more narcissistic. Really I don't know and may never understand. The best thing to do is not worry about your xSO at all. It won't change the outcome at all, just make you feel bad and extend your grieving. Concentrate on yourself and yourself only. Once you get to the stage where you feel good about yourself, he has no control over you. There is something to strive for. Don't think of it as revenge, think about it in terms of doing something good for yourself. An added benefit is he will be upset seeing you happy but don't let that be your motivator. Who cares what he thinks, he is sub-human anyway. Well said!!!
Author shecat28 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 Does mediation usually take so long? I just want this thing over with, in writing so I can move on. I feel like he's got me in a choke hold. He knows that I have no source of income and only enough money to last me a couple more months, if that...and I know he won't give me any unless the courts compel him to. Another way to control me. I know that seeking revenge is futile...I'm just talking through my emotions right now... don't worry everyone, I'm a smart girl...eventually I'll get there.
Author shecat28 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Posted March 29, 2007 If you're around Moongirl, you'll get a kick outta this one. He is charging me with fraud because I had ordered something on his credit card that he did not know about or authorize. He said he would drop the charges if I just paid him the amount that was charged. I told him basically to F**k Off and bring it on!
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