Thomas Posted November 28, 2002 Posted November 28, 2002 I have been in a relationship with a girlfriend a little over 2 months. Things are going great except that sometimes I feel like we don't talk as much as we should. Im sitting there thinking about things and i have no clue what to say. I am a social person but when I'm around her i have no idea what to talk about...what can I do to stop this from happening? what can i talk about? We talk but it doesnt seem like we talk as much as we should. What do you think i can do to get this stupid little problem out of the way?
Tony T Posted November 28, 2002 Posted November 28, 2002 Some people are natural talkers and some are not. I've never, ever had a problem talking forever...and it's always interesting so it's hard for me to identify with people who find themselves short of words. Women love to be asked about themselves, their feelings, their interests, their family, etc. You can also discuss the latest movies, plays, sporting events, etc. Just don't say nasty things about other people...or gossip. She won't think well of you for doing that. You might want to make an outline before you see her each time...an outline of topics. Underneath each topic, write some aspects of that topic you can discuss or ask her about. I used to do this before telephone conversations with girls I really liked and got nervous around. Other than that, just be patient with yourself. In time, life experiences and education will provide you with plenty to talk about. Learn to think on your feet...there is so much in the world that could be a topic of conversation.
Patty Posted November 28, 2002 Posted November 28, 2002 Hi Thomas.I don't think your doing anything wrong.I also had and still have the same problems.It's like someone says something to you and your not sure what to say? I'm like this alot.But if you put your mind to it you can over come this. 1.Like Tony says you can write things down before you say them. 2.Practice in front of a mirror. 3.Have someone role play the person you want to make conversation with.I know this sounds funny but my therapist has done this with me and it works.He would be someone else and have me role play what I was going to say. 4.You can always talk about the weather if not sure what to say. The thing about role playing is it helped me alot.After awhile it just all came naturally.And I started a conversation with someone at work.And compared to a year ago I was never able to do that.Im still shy sometimes at work and still don't know what to say but if I can think of something to say I say it. Good luck. Patty
Debster Posted November 28, 2002 Posted November 28, 2002 If in the first couple of months of a relationship (the honeymoon phase, so to speak) you can't keep the conversation going, doesn't that say something? Don't you want to know about her childhood, favourite story, most embarrasing moment, etc..... This is the time to get to know your partner. If you're finding yourself not knowing how to keep the conversation going, maybe that says that deep down, you don't want to get to know the person. What I've learned is that in the beginning a relationship should not be so hard. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be and if you have to work so hard at it during the honeymoon stage, maybe this isn't the relationship for you.
Author Thomas Posted November 28, 2002 Author Posted November 28, 2002 I have been with her taking her home from a movie or something and we would be talking then stop. To me there would be that awkward silence but i asked her about it and she said it wasnt awkward to her. So the only i was asking is how can i be at the top of my game in the social area. We do talk a lot its just i dont feel we talk enough. Thanks a lot for the help Tony it will help out a lot.
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