Author DanielMadr Posted March 19, 2007 Author Posted March 19, 2007 developing a relationship with a guy before having sex has nothing to do with being bitchy and aloof. Of corse it has nothing to do with it:rolleyes: I was talking about early stages of dating. I was talking about it, because you wanted to know what "threatens" me. Waiting with sex does not "threaten" me. I only want to show the other side of coin. Some people when they do click together dont have to feel ashamed they havent waited 2 months, because it was proven by some Greg. And I know quite a lot of pairs who have perfect relationship and they hit it soon. Thats my whole point. Want to play it safe? OK. Want to be more confident? OK. Im giving you other possible views and you are accusing me of agenda. Is it that "threatening" to hear, that when girl doesnt wait with sex it can be because she is confident in herself, she knows she is catch and a guy wont freak out and she is confident in a guy????
bridget_jones Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 when you sleep with a guy right away, you don't know. You're walking on thin ice, russian roulette. screwing a guy soon on doesn't show confidence, it shows you don't mind sleeping with someone you don't know that well and haven't developed a bond with. Personally I like to know and bond with someone before I sleep with them, it doesn't mean I don't have confidence. A woman who does sleep with a guy right away lacks confidence because she uses her body as a way to bond, it's all she feels she has to get the guy. Just because you feel an attraction doesn't mean to act on primal bodily instincts and jump straight to bed. I have dated men and in the course of dating discovered qualities about them which made me not want to date them anymore. I'm glad I didn't sleep with them before I had gotten to know them and given my bodies to them. I cherish my body and don't just give it up to anyone. Because I am confident and don't have to use my body to try to get a guy.
TheSwordfish Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 It is about morals here. If a girl wants to have sex with me on the first date I would always think really hard about this. The things I would take into consideration are: A.How well do we know each other? (More of a feeling then hours spend together. I would go with my gut feeling.) B.Is she drunk? (if a girl is drunk I will tell her that I will not have sex with her in that state, she should come back and make the same decission when she's sober). C.Do we have the same intentions (Is it just a fling or does one of us expect more?) I do think a girl wanting sex with me right away, isn't good relationship material. But hey, you never know. You might talk about being confident, I rather think of it as a lack of self control. It is all dependent on intentions and the situation.
bridget_jones Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 an example of this is I was seeing a guy, and on our first date he told me he had a college degree from X College. a couple weeks later we were talking and it slipped in the conversation that he did NOT actually graduate from college. I said 'You told me you had graduated from X College.' His reply 'Ummm, yeah, well I quit after sophomore year, I plan on going back and finishing, it's just i found this good job and didn't feel the need to go back.' I actually was thinking that night was going to be the night I would be intimate with him! Good thing I found out I was dating a total LIAR before I slept with him. GROSS. AND it wasn't that I had an issue with him not having graduated college, no, he was actually successful professionally careerwise....it's just that he had outright told a BOLDFACED LIE on our first date! think of what else he was capable of lying about. THat would have been so GROSS had I slept with a liar. Needless to say I had him drive me home directly after dinner and told him not to call again.
bridget_jones Posted March 19, 2007 Posted March 19, 2007 Thanks, Swordfish. What you state is what every woman should know...I have no moral judgments against people who choose to have sex right away with someone....however, when some dude is saying that a woman lacks confidence if she doesn't put out for a guy right away, I'm going to set him straight cause that is WHACK. A woman is SMART if she doesn't put out for a guy right away. (unless she is just looking for a fling, and she uses a condom then have fun, girl) I do think a girl wanting sex with me right away, isn't good relationship material.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 19, 2007 Author Posted March 19, 2007 when you sleep with a guy right away, you don't know. You're walking on thin ice, russian roulette. screwing a guy soon on doesn't show confidence, it shows you don't mind sleeping with someone you don't know that well and haven't developed a bond with. Personally I like to know and bond with someone before I sleep with them, it doesn't mean I don't have confidence. A woman who does sleep with a guy right away lacks confidence because she uses her body as a way to bond, it's all she feels she has to get the guy. Just because you feel an attraction doesn't mean to act on primal bodily instincts and jump straight to bed. I have dated men and in the course of dating discovered qualities about them which made me not want to date them anymore. I'm glad I didn't sleep with them before I had gotten to know them and given my bodies to them. I cherish my body and don't just give it up to anyone. Because I am confident and don't have to use my body to try to get a guy. Well some women arent afraid of cold water or they bond pretty quickly. You know when it clicks, it clicks. It is rare but it exists. Some girls sleep with guy early b/c they lack confidence, some dont lack confidence. I understand your point but lets not generalize. You play it safe. Good for you. But dont be surprised when a guy see it as hesitance, lack of trust or whatever, b/c he was in wonderful relationship with girl who wasnt so "careful". OK His fault, I know.
ramble on rose Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Daniel your posts really interest me. You seem to have unusual insight on the ego. Do you think you could give me advice on a particular problem?
Shizz Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 I prefer the A&E version. Colin Firth makes the perfect Fitzwilliam Darcy. I can say this with no shame, if I were a woman, I'd marry Mr. Darcy in a heartbeat. Any lover who has ever lived should aspire towards some of his finer tendancies. That aside Mr. Darcy does have his failings, and she could have been either complementing you, or skillfully insulting you. Mr. Darcy is kind and generous, polite, tactful, good natured, and caring in his own way. He is also narsisitic, close minded, and selfish in many sense. So it could be either or, personally, take it as a compliment.
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