Author DanielMadr Posted March 13, 2007 Author Posted March 13, 2007 But if you want to watch Pride and Prejudice, watch the BBC series. It is MUCH better than the 2005-movie that is way too short! Id better make that story a reality for me. Elisabeths these days prefer reading and watching this stuff than living it. Daydreaming is so safer:rolleyes:
Author DanielMadr Posted March 13, 2007 Author Posted March 13, 2007 Steve Rhodes was her 1st husband...Jefferson Darcy the 2nd. Yeah that was him. They both were pretty funny. Reality horror series...Married with children:laugh:
Pretty Fly Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 Girl systematically discovers boy is complete jerk. Girl finds out all actions she condemned the boy for weren't that way at all. This happened to me recently and was a byproduct of women's natural tendency to analyse everything and assign (usually the wrong) meaning without actually talking to the guy in question and often involving a heck of a lot of assumptions. (eg my experience recently was that I had a turquoise bottle of moisturiser in my bathroom that had come free with something I'd bought that was good for preventing blackheads. However, girl in question sees this, assumes its a girls shampoo bottle and hence I'm seeing somebody else and proceeds to get back with her ex! Crazy)
serial muse Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 In the mean time, for a much shorter and very enjoyable spoof on Mr. Darcy, click here: :lmao: thanks storyrider, that made my morning.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 13, 2007 Author Posted March 13, 2007 I think I will buy those splendid riding pants first thing tomorrow That chap playing Darcy in the movie (not BBC) was fantastic in the movie about British soldiers in Bosnia (Warriors aka Peacekeepers 1999). If you are tired of romance give it a chance.
Storyrider Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 :lmao: thanks storyrider, that made my morning. Glad you liked it!
Author DanielMadr Posted March 16, 2007 Author Posted March 16, 2007 OK. Ive seen that movie (hollywood version). That Darcy is nothing much. He is somewhat cold. Maybe it has something to do with him being English and gentlemen. But put aside his money and power he is another struggling nice guy. I mean he is pretty confident but certainly not in things concerning miss Elizabeth. When guy gets this nervous with girl or even less.....he is bloody doomed.
Island Girl Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 (eg my experience recently was that I had a turquoise bottle of moisturiser in my bathroom that had come free with something I'd bought that was good for preventing blackheads. However, girl in question sees this, assumes its a girls shampoo bottle and hence I'm seeing somebody else and proceeds to get back with her ex! Crazy) Off topic - Sorry Pretty Fly but she used this as an excuse - she was already going to make the move. It is just always easier to find some reason, no matter how far fetched, so an honest discussion doesn't have to take place.
bridget_jones Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 she had already been communicating with her ex and in talks about reconciliation when she was seeing pretty fly I think....but it's still a funny story to tell. As for Daniel...get over yourself, you are no Darcy by a longshot.
Pretty Fly Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 Yeah I probably agree with both of you there in retrospect. I think I was used by a woman for sex! It's odd, as it's not as fun as your average guy might assume it is! (We spent a weekend together (we'd known each other for a few months before), had both said we had a great time and I said I wanted to see her again and she said she wanted to see me too(said she'd had an "awesome time"), but I was going away skiing in a week's time. I called her twice during the week before I left and left her VM, but she didn't reply [playing "hard to get"??!?!?!? ] Went away on hols, came back, and still couldn't get hold of her. It was her mate in the end that told me. Honesty would've been good)
Author DanielMadr Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 As for Daniel...get over yourself, you are no Darcy by a longshot. Oh no my life is in ruins now:lmao: Actually Im happy about it. Darcy was decent honest a little bit shy gentleman, I like him but he wouldnt stand a chance without his status. I think Im more like Achilles in that movie Troy....only more hairy and a bit more entertaining :D
Author DanielMadr Posted March 17, 2007 Author Posted March 17, 2007 Yeah I probably agree with both of you there in retrospect. I think I was used by a woman for sex! It's odd, as it's not as fun as your average guy might assume it is! (We spent a weekend together (we'd known each other for a few months before), had both said we had a great time and I said I wanted to see her again and she said she wanted to see me too(said she'd had an "awesome time"), but I was going away skiing in a week's time. I called her twice during the week before I left and left her VM, but she didn't reply [playing "hard to get"??!?!?!? ] Went away on hols, came back, and still couldn't get hold of her. It was her mate in the end that told me. Honesty would've been good) I think girls just dont like when somebody likes them more than they like him. Reasons? You could come up with many reasons but it is not important. Just let her fall in love with you first. Save your affection for later. When you get too serious about her, she see it as weakness or what.
bridget_jones Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 It seriously is. It shows you see love and relationships as all games. I think you are a bit (or a lot) of a misogynist. So a super good-looking, slightly shy, charming, and honest guy doesn't have a chance with women? LOLOLOL I think girls just dont like when somebody likes them more than they like him. Reasons? You could come up with many reasons but it is not important. Just let her fall in love with you first. Save your affection for later. When you get too serious about her, she see it as weakness or what.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 It seriously is. It shows you see love and relationships as all games. I think you are a bit (or a lot) of a misogynist. So a super good-looking, slightly shy, charming, and honest guy doesn't have a chance with women? LOLOLOL Oh. Here we go again. You should know (I told you) that I think a game is 10% of dating ritual. Misogynist? Is it a man who can hate women almost as much as women can hate each other? No I dont think so. Im not politicaly correct but nit a misogynist. There are three kinds of people Dicks, pussies and azzholes...and I despise only azzholes As a woman you cant probably see it. But I was told about this by a woman. She told me if I want to get a woman hot.....'be indeferent to her'. Which is not all truth but shockingly it works to a certain point. I dont mean to start that Nice Guys versus Jerk debate, because it is not about it. But you can see some pattern in that. Challenge works. It is proven fact. Id like to think that Im practising challenge because Im not head over heels in love type and I think it is tactful to give her a space and not to embarrass her with my emotions too early on and that I demand other qualities than pretty face. I hope it is that. But to get a phone number from a strange girl and make it to first date, second date, third date...... You have to give her challenge. If she knows you for a long time, there is no need for that obviously....you were challenge all that time. Super good-looking, slightly shy, charming, and honest guy doesn't have a chance with women? Not with a strange girl....she sees only pretty face and charm. Challenge tells her the rest I suppose. And Not when he gets nervous with any girl, which is usualy what happens when he is in love with her. She will get some stronger type of guy not the nervous one. I dont blame her. Why do you think so many guys are dating girls they are not in love with? Slobbering after other more attractive girls. Immature are they? Weak? Sure. But its reality.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 the men who I've had long lasting (year or longer) relationships with have always just showed interest in me and didn't hold back. they called everyday, and let me know they were crazy about me. I didn't even have to call them, because they wanted me. And I was interested back, of course. No games, no holding back. The most wonderful relationships I've had are the ones where the guy was falling in love with me and went for it. They just cared for me and showed it, there wasn't 'strategy' involved! If a guy has to think that much about it, as you say, gee I won't call today, she'll see me as a 'challenge' today or whatever...well if you have to put that much thought into it, it's not a natural process and it ain't a gonna turn out happy for 'ya (the guy). When a guy thinks a woman is special, he will respond accordingly and happy relationship follows, not do the backing off 'I'm a challenge' thing you say works like a charm. And also you put too much emphasis on the role of physical attractiveness into the whole thing. I don't know all these guys in relationships who are dating girls they aren't in love with??? Is this some trend, because I am unaware of it. If a man is in a relationship with a woman it's because he wants to.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 the men who I've had long lasting (year or longer) relationships with have always just showed interest in me and didn't hold back. they called everyday, and let me know they were crazy about me. I didn't even have to call them, because they wanted me. And I was interested back, of course. No games, no holding back. The most wonderful relationships I've had are the ones where the guy was falling in love with me and went for it. They just cared for me and showed it, there wasn't 'strategy' involved! If a guy has to think that much about it, as you say, gee I won't call today, she'll see me as a 'challenge' today or whatever...well if you have to put that much thought into it, it's not a natural process and it ain't a gonna turn out happy for 'ya (the guy). When a guy thinks a woman is special, he will respond accordingly and happy relationship follows, not do the backing off 'I'm a challenge' thing you say works like a charm. And also you put too much emphasis on the role of physical attractiveness into the whole thing. I don't know all these guys in relationships who are dating girls they aren't in love with??? Is this some trend, because I am unaware of it. If a man is in a relationship with a woman it's because he wants to. Ehm. I dont mean to be rude or pushy but where are these guys who were all over you now? Where they dumped? Why? I know it is wonderful for girl when guys are all over her. Who wouldnt be happy with that. But When guy is calls you frequently and is all over you, you certainly feel perfect but it has nothing to do with him. Does all his attention rise your interest level in him? Yeah it should be natural. And I hope Im sincere with myself as I can but I also know you have to have good manners and bit your tongue time to time. And I assure you....doing the dating hollywood style is total BS. Unfortunatelly lot of guys imitate this. It is not about what to do but how to do. As I told you....70% strong personality , 10% behaviour and 20% vis major (genetics, luck etc.) That what I believe it takes. Physical attractiveness is way more important for guys than it is for girls btw. Fame, power, confidence, status etc. doesnt play such crucial role for guys. I didnt mean that guys are masturbating to Playboy. By proclaiming that some guys go for girls they dont love b/c they are more confident with them, I meant the common phenomea when Guy marry or have to marry or sleep with girl she is not in love with = HIT & RUN.
bridget_jones Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 not all relationships last forever. that was a jerky comment to say. you're not married, Daniel, so what are you doing giving all these tips for success in relationships? Huh? Please answer.I look back on my relationships with fondness, not blaming anyone or that someone did something 'wrong'. My last guy I was in a 2 year relationship with...things end sometimes. under your logic, anyone who is not in a relationship or who has ever broken up with someone is doing something wrong, which is an idiotic way to think. but I knew you were going tosay that, because you always have to get your little dig in, Daniel. When I was seeing this guy for 2 years, in a serious relationship, he called me at least once or twice a day because...he loved me and he wanted to know how I was doing and wanted to hear my voice, simple as that. He also emailed daily because he thought about me a lot. that's what people in love do, they want contact with that person. So...yes, his calling me did have to do with him because talking to the woman he loved made him happy. And me, too. the ones that lasted and 'stuck' were just mature and honest relationships where there weren't 'strategies' going on behind the scenes with the guy. actually women can see right through that, anyway, I know I can, and it's a turn-off. I want to love a man who loves me and vice versa for him, it's simple, not about strategizing. this doesn't mean we don't have activities and other friends outside of the relationship, of course a healthy relationship has that. He can go out golfing with the boys, do his thing, and so do I (running, writing, book club, etc.). it's about maintaining a healthy balance. then there were times we wanted to spend entire weekends together and more. it was a healthy romantic relationship full of passion, travel, caring, and fun and had nothing to do with not calling strategies, etc. the reason we broke up actually wasn't because of lack of feelings, it was another factor which I don't care to share, and it was my decision. Loving someone passionately and completely is not 'hollywood style,' you're really into labels. Even though it didn't last, I learned what love really is about and being in a healthy relationship really is about, so I know what I want. As far as physical attraction, of course that has to be there on both ends. what one person finds attractive another person isn't attracted to, it has nothing to do with love. of course you're with someone where there's that physical attraction.
Pretty Fly Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 When I was seeing this guy for 2 years, in a serious relationship, he called me at least once or twice a day because...he loved me and he wanted to know how I was doing and wanted to hear my voice, simple as that. He also emailed daily because he thought about me a lot. that's what people in love do, they want contact with that person. So...yes, his calling me did have to do with him because talking to the woman he loved made him happy. And me, too. Here, you're referring to the actual established relationship, post about the 3 month mark. I believe Daniel is referring to being a "challenge" and maintaining some "mystery" within the initial dating phase, which I've frequently heard even women recommend men do. Maybe people read into that too much though (and I'm guilty of this myself). For example, some guys might think, "well I've been busy today and unable to call, so I'll call when I get home in an hour", which may come across "challenging" and "mysterious" on her part as she doesn't know what your plans were for the day (and is more natural as the guy is just going about his normal life as he normally would). But a guy who is thinking and analysing stuff may think, "well I've been busy today and unable to call, so now that I've thought to myself that I want to call her, I now need to delay that for a day or 2 to appear mysterious and challenging". In the mean time, she wonders why you haven't called, thinks you're playing games and moves on.
Island Girl Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Here, you're referring to the actual established relationship, post about the 3 month mark. I believe Daniel is referring to being a "challenge" and maintaining some "mystery" within the initial dating phase, which I've frequently heard even women recommend men do. Maybe people read into that too much though (and I'm guilty of this myself). It IS for the initial dating phase - but it is also after. No man or woman should drop everything in their lives for the "new" person. Rather, the person is gradually introduced into your life. That is, if you have a standing poker night with the guys on Thursdays - you keep doing that, etc. For example, some guys might think, "well I've been busy today and unable to call, so I'll call when I get home in an hour", which may come across "challenging" and "mysterious" on her part as she doesn't know what your plans were for the day (and is more natural as the guy is just going about his normal life as he normally would). Exactly. And if the day goes by and you get home late - you may or may not call depending on where you are in the process. But a guy who is thinking and analysing stuff may think, "well I've been busy today and unable to call, so now that I've thought to myself that I want to call her, I now need to delay that for a day or 2 to appear mysterious and challenging". In the mean time, she wonders why you haven't called, thinks you're playing games and moves on. That is over thinking it. If you want to call - call - after living your normal life. The danger is when the guy becomes desperate to talk to her - this girl that somehow brought all meaning to his life - and he ends up sacrificing his plans, his hobbies, or whatever else he had going on before he met her. If there was nothing then he needs to find something that he can focus on besides her. Don't become always available - always there at every turn - always for her - everything and every breath for her. That is the quickest way to kill the attraction.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 Here, you're referring to the actual established relationship, post about the 3 month mark. I believe Daniel is referring to being a "challenge" and maintaining some "mystery" within the initial dating phase, which I've frequently heard even women recommend men do. Maybe people read into that too much though (and I'm guilty of this myself). For example, some guys might think, "well I've been busy today and unable to call, so I'll call when I get home in an hour", which may come across "challenging" and "mysterious" on her part as she doesn't know what your plans were for the day (and is more natural as the guy is just going about his normal life as he normally would). But a guy who is thinking and analysing stuff may think, "well I've been busy today and unable to call, so now that I've thought to myself that I want to call her, I now need to delay that for a day or 2 to appear mysterious and challenging". In the mean time, she wonders why you haven't called, thinks you're playing games and moves on. Yes that is what I meant. And another reason why not to be too affectionate, calling every spare hour etc. I dont want to be pushy. When I tell a girl 'Im madly in love with you I have to see you or hear from you at least twice a day' Im pushing her to a wall. Its like saying 'I love you, you love me back or you will break my heart'. And it is mean and absolutely unattractive. She is not my mummy. Im able to live on my own. Grown up man cant act like wounded puppy.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 you're not married, Daniel, so what are you doing giving all these tips for success in relationships? Huh? Please answer. I was giving advice how not to get blown off to pieces in the early stage of relationship.
nicki Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 Yeah, and there's nothing sexier than a new man who seems a bit indifferent, but who calls me when he is away on a business trip to say that he can't stop thinking about me...makes me melt, By doing that, he will show himself to be unpredictable. Maybe I thought he wasn't that interested or passionate, and then BAM! I see that he is....as long as he doesn't call me every day in the early days declaring his love to me. It's like unrolling a carpet a little at a time to see its beautiful design. You can't really predict the whole design, but you want to see more. Unpredictability makes it exciting...for the guys, too. I'll give a guy a compliment, but not EVERY one that I think. Otherwise, if i'm into the guy, all I'm thinking about is how hot he is, or funny, or I love his smile....and no guy wants to be complimented 10 times a day. So I'll make it one time a day. It's about holding back a bit, for yourself and for the good of the relationship. Otherwise, you can blur the boundary between you and the other person way too soon and lose your independence, which is what the other person likes. All relationships are a result of the tension between wanting to be independent and interdependent (with someone else.) That's the fun of it.
NearlyThere Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 But if you want to watch Pride and Prejudice, watch the BBC series. It is MUCH better than the 2005-movie that is way too short! The BBC one is much much better. Mr Darcy walking accross the lawn after swimming in the very big duck pond, lol. OMG!!! I better go take a cold bath. If you were called Mr Darcy, I would take it as a compliment.
Author DanielMadr Posted March 18, 2007 Author Posted March 18, 2007 Yeah, and there's nothing sexier than a new man who seems a bit indifferent, but who calls me when he is away on a business trip to say that he can't stop thinking about me...makes me melt, By doing that, he will show himself to be unpredictable. Maybe I thought he wasn't that interested or passionate, and then BAM! I see that he is....as long as he doesn't call me every day in the early days declaring his love to me. It's like unrolling a carpet a little at a time to see its beautiful design. You can't really predict the whole design, but you want to see more. Unpredictability makes it exciting...for the guys, too. I'll give a guy a compliment, but not EVERY one that I think. Otherwise, if i'm into the guy, all I'm thinking about is how hot he is, or funny, or I love his smile....and no guy wants to be complimented 10 times a day. So I'll make it one time a day. It's about holding back a bit, for yourself and for the good of the relationship. Otherwise, you can blur the boundary between you and the other person way too soon and lose your independence, which is what the other person likes. All relationships are a result of the tension between wanting to be independent and interdependent (with someone else.) That's the fun of it. You made it again nicki. Perfect insight:) Be careful with compliments. For example I hate to receive verbal compliments, talk is cheap....there is no better compliment than girl resting her head on my chest or holding my hand when danger is present.
nicki Posted March 18, 2007 Posted March 18, 2007 hmmm, kind of like nonverbal compliments! I like that. Oh, and I'm going to have to rent the BBC version of the movie. I've read the book and seen the theatrical movie. I guess I'm not much of a fan of most romantic movies. While watching the movie, I kept thinking, "Just grab him already and roll around naked in that beautiful lush meadow!"
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