Guest Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 I have been married for 20 years and for the first time in my life I am having a affair. I have a job that I travel alot with. I meet this person who is also married for over 20 years. At first nothing happen other than we talked alot which led to flirting. Then I saw him this first of the year and we meet for a drink. We ended up having sex. NO I was not that drunk. But I couldn't believe what I had done and how I was going to face him the next day. We decided to talk about it later that night and we both have been attracted to each other for a while and neither is sure why we let it get out of hand this time. But now that we have we have traveled to the same meetings 2 more times and ended up having sex again. We both live in different states. Last month he meet me for a business trip and we stayed together for the first time. It was nice because we didn't go to different room after the fact. But now we would like to keep seeing each other once a month and when we have to travel together which is about 6 times a year. And I am not sure that I can do that with out becoming emtional involved. I like this person, but we both made it clear that we wouldn't leave our spouses. What should I do?
MoonGirl Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 I have been married for 20 years and for the first time in my life I am having a affair. I have a job that I travel alot with. I meet this person who is also married for over 20 years. At first nothing happen other than we talked alot which led to flirting. Then I saw him this first of the year and we meet for a drink. We ended up having sex. NO I was not that drunk. But I couldn't believe what I had done and how I was going to face him the next day. We decided to talk about it later that night and we both have been attracted to each other for a while and neither is sure why we let it get out of hand this time. But now that we have we have traveled to the same meetings 2 more times and ended up having sex again. We both live in different states. Last month he meet me for a business trip and we stayed together for the first time. It was nice because we didn't go to different room after the fact. But now we would like to keep seeing each other once a month and when we have to travel together which is about 6 times a year. And I am not sure that I can do that with out becoming emtional involved. I like this person, but we both made it clear that we wouldn't leave our spouses. What should I do? It can't be done without affecting your emotions...I've been there. Stop while you're ahead and concentrate on making your relationship with your husband work instead of screwing up a bunch of lives because you're enjoying some fleeting passion. If you need help reigniting the spark in your marriage, go to the marriage builders website and read the Divorce Busters book.
norajane Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 Yes, end it now before your emotions get so involved that that you can't climb out of the deep hole you've dug. You know you don't want to end your marriage and neither does he, so why, why, why put yourselves in a positon to destroy both marriages and your spouses? Whatever you are enjoying about this, imagine having to explain that to your husband and his wife. Read some of the threads in the infidelity section of this board to see what lies ahead for you and your spouses if you continue.
kymberann Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 It will be easier to end the A now as opposed to later on when the emotions are that much stronger and you are that much more involved. We can tell you what to do, but ultimately it is your decision. What do you want more of: to continue the A as is or to break it off? Continuing the A has it's own set of consequences, some good some bad. Continuing the A will have a lifw long impact filled with ups and downs. Continuing the A will put you on an emotional roller coaster ride, just be ready if that is what you want. Are you at all interested in looking at your marriage now and perhaps addressing why the need to cheat on your H? Just thing to think about! Best!
outofdarkness Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 I have been married for 20 years and for the first time in my life I am having a affair. I have a job that I travel alot with. I meet this person who is also married for over 20 years. At first nothing happen other than we talked alot which led to flirting. Then I saw him this first of the year and we meet for a drink. We ended up having sex. NO I was not that drunk. But I couldn't believe what I had done and how I was going to face him the next day. We decided to talk about it later that night and we both have been attracted to each other for a while and neither is sure why we let it get out of hand this time. But now that we have we have traveled to the same meetings 2 more times and ended up having sex again. We both live in different states. Last month he meet me for a business trip and we stayed together for the first time. It was nice because we didn't go to different room after the fact. But now we would like to keep seeing each other once a month and when we have to travel together which is about 6 times a year. And I am not sure that I can do that with out becoming emtional involved. I like this person, but we both made it clear that we wouldn't leave our spouses. What should I do? umm.yeah you should end it..the sooner the better.
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