mattie2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 i broke up with my bf of almost 2 years today, and i am wondering if y'all think i did the right thing as there is still time to go back... a few months before we met, he went on a date with a flight attendant while on vacation in california. in september he went back to california, and, at the time, we were dating (seriously). i know this sounds crazy, but recently, i had a dream that he left me for this girl. i kept telling myself that it was nothing, but i couldn't stop thinking about it. today, i looked her up in his e-mail. i know i shouldn't have been looking in his e-mail--yes, that was wrong of me to do. i found e-mails to her from august and september in which he told her that those few hours he spent with her a couple of years ago just weren't enough and that he would love to see her when he went to california (in september) and that she was "cute" and that he sent her "big kisses." when i confronted him about he, he told he that the fight was my fault for looking in his e-mail and that it was okay for him to do what he did because he didn't feel "emotionally involved" enough with me at the time, although we were unquestionably in an exclusive relationship. i am very, very sad and confused. do y'all think i did the right thing in leaving? he claims he didn't actually see her becaue he "had better things to do" on his trip. i feel kind of crushed. is it, do you think, okay to solicit dates from other people if you are going through a period in your relationship in which you feel "emotionally uninvolved?"
norajane Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Don't be confused. You did the right thing. He's a pig for trolling for other women while in a relationship with you, and an even bigger pig for putting the blame on how he didn't feel emotionally involved with you. It doesn't matter how he felt - you WERE involved - and if he had issues, he should have dealt with them honestly with you instead of looking to cheat. And do you really believe he didn't see her while he was in California? Maybe if she said no, or if she was busy and couldn't see him. But he tried to see her and now he's lying about it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. But you did the right thing.
garnet Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Please don't question yourself over this. What he did is inexcusable, and a good indicator of his character. Don't let him try to turn the blame around on you in order to justify his behavior. He sounds very weak and immature, and having been in a similar situation, I can say with certainty that you are better off without him. If he's shown willingness to do it once, he can do it again. And then every time you hit a rough patch in the relationship you'll feel insecure that he'll stray. It's not fair and it's not right.
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