marlena Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 What do you think of online dating? Any experiences to share? Can it work? Is it too risky?
DanielMadr Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Online dating is for loosers - rejection etc. doesnt hurt so much in cyberspace. Even non-looser are stained by it - you can hardly prove otherwise. So it is all too weird. Its safer than real world though....try to meet 200 people a day in real world:D You need to see that person in reality (his appearance, how he moves, how he talks etc.) or it is only your imagination and it can be confusing. Nobody is for real in cyberspace. It doesnt mean they lie. They are just what they want to be and not what they really are. It is waste of time. Nothing better than dating on fresh air.
sunshinegirl Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 I've used online dating services on/off for a few years now. There are definitely ways to do it that will ensure your safety (use an anonymous username, at first don't give out email addresses or other contact info that can connect that person to where you live or work, if meeting in person, do it in a public place for a limited period of time and let someone know where you are, etc) - so I don't even worry about the safety aspect anymore. The harder job is sorting the wheat from the chaff. I've corresponded and/or met a lot of men who were most definitely not a match... and corresponded and/or met with a much smaller number of really quality men who could have been a match. All that said, my boyfriend and I met through mutual friends...
sunshinegirl Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 You need to see that person in reality (his appearance, how he moves, how he talks etc.) or it is only your imagination and it can be confusing. Nobody is for real in cyberspace. It doesnt mean they lie. They are just what they want to be and not what they really are. I 100% agree with this. So I don't belabor the on-line part. Exchange a few emails, maybe talk by phone once; if there is any potential whatsoever, I meet them ASAP. No point in creating an incredible email connection only to find out that the supercool rock climbing philanthropist online is a fat married jerk in real life. (Usually good screening rules these guys out, but I have met plenty of guys who give incredible email but can't hold up their end of a conversation in person.) It is waste of time. Nothing better than dating on fresh air. Disagree. Wasn't a waste of time for me. I'm in a job where it's hard to meet people "organically" - it just doesn't happen in my day-to-day life. If online dating is approached with the right mentality and appropriate expectations, it can be a very fun way to meet people outside your normal goings on...and who knows, one of them may turn out to be an incredible connection. A friend of mine knows seven married or engaged couples who met online.
Blue Phoenix Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 --"Online dating is for loosers"-- I 100% disagree I think it has opened up a wonderfull way for people that most likely wouldent have gotten the chance to meet in real life. Say maybe people that were eather to shy or people from diffrent countrys and so on. And also its nice because you get to know a tiney bit about the person before you even decide if you want to go out on that 1st date with them. I've done it bouth ways and I honestly can say its more relaxed when you meet them on line 1st. But just like in real life you have to use your head and always be safe 1st over anything else..
wergo Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Online dating is for loosers - rejection etc. doesnt hurt so much in cyberspace. Even non-looser are stained by it - you can hardly prove otherwise. So it is all too weird. Its safer than real world though....try to meet 200 people a day in real world:D Yeah, but WHERE in the real world can you meet people? It's just not as easy as it should be. (Online's not that safe either; the first thing that happens is they sell your email account to spammers. The second is often that they overcharge your credit card.) I've thrown away thousands of dollars on online dating without ever actually meeting a single real woman. As far as I can tell, 95% of the female ads are false, or inactive, or just space fillers to make men think there's still a chance. At least rejection in the real world involves human contact.
Pretty Fly Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 What do you think of online dating? Any experiences to share? Can it work? Is it too risky? I read the other day that online dating is over-subscribed with blokes and speed dating events always fill the femle half and struggle to fill the male half. Draw your own conclusions
sb129 Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 You need to see that person in reality (his appearance, how he moves, how he talks etc.) or it is only your imagination and it can be confusing. Nobody is for real in cyberspace. It doesnt mean they lie. They are just what they want to be and not what they really are. It is waste of time. Nothing better than dating on fresh air. Well hopefully you do meet them in reality sooner rather than later. I met my BF online. WE exchanged emails for about a week, and met for coffee.... which lasted for about six hours of talking. Nothing physical happened for a while but there was an instant connection. We are still together and moving in together later this year. He amazing, and I know he feels the same way about me. Exchange a few emails, maybe talk by phone once; if there is any potential whatsoever, I meet them ASAP. it can be a very fun way to meet people outside your normal goings on...and who knows, one of them may turn out to be an incredible connection. A friend of mine knows seven married or engaged couples who met online.SG is right. And the other great thing about it is (if people fill in their profiles HONESTLY) you can be fussy without offending anyone. I wanted a guy who was taller than me, the same nationality as me, had no kids but wanted them in the future, was a similar age, had a high level of education, a good job, had similar interests and passions... and I hit the jackpot!
DanielMadr Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Disagree. Wasn't a waste of time for me. I'm in a job where it's hard to meet people "organically" - it just doesn't happen in my day-to-day life. If online dating is approached with the right mentality and appropriate expectations, it can be a very fun way to meet people outside your normal goings on...and who knows, one of them may turn out to be an incredible connection. A friend of mine knows seven married or engaged couples who met online. And I agree with this. you meet a lot of people out of your bubble. but it is not dating is it? sort of maybe. Make it to meet interesting people not prince charming.
DanielMadr Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Well hopefully you do meet them in reality sooner rather than later. I met my BF online. WE exchanged emails for about a week, and met for coffee.... which lasted for about six hours of talking. Nothing physical happened for a while but there was an instant connection. We are still together and moving in together later this year. He amazing, and I know he feels the same way about me. SG is right. And the other great thing about it is (if people fill in their profiles HONESTLY) you can be fussy without offending anyone. I wanted a guy who was taller than me, the same nationality as me, had no kids but wanted them in the future, was a similar age, had a high level of education, a good job, had similar interests and passions... and I hit the jackpot! OK. I admit my views are biased. Im on the demand part of graph, Im a guy you know. Once I made a profile like a chic...my mail was flooded in an hour. No bitterness here just facts. Sure if you are lucky. Just dont expect much as I said socialize dont date.
luvtoto Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Rarely do sparks fly between two people with just a photo and a paragraph.
alphamale Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 but I have met plenty of guys who give incredible email but can't hold up their end of a conversation in person why do you think they are trying to meet chicks online?
kribby Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 hmmm.... Last winter I met a wonderful man online... (a side note-- this is my 2nd post...I am actually perusing this site for the first time trying to figure out the protocol for saying 'I love you' so obviously things are going quite well) Not to start advertising sites but -- the big name ones are probably the best... because lots of people use them. I live in Baltimore and the big name sites have tons of choices from all the neighboring decently populated cities (DC/MD/Northern Virginia) with the general profile of a guy that I would find attractive.... I was raving to a friend about my experiences on the site and she made the comment that in Bootycrack, NC (where she lives) she surely wouldn't have so much luck. Lo and behold, after I checked... she was right. There wasn't a single person that fit her general profile. So I guess (1) thing I am saying is that online dating gives you access to a wider pool-- if there even is the possibility of a pool. It definitely expands your choices. The simplest truth is that there is no guarentee that you will find love in this or in that place. Surely it is sensible to try various things. The thing that I love about dating sites is that when a person really goes to the max filling out their profile you really get a sense of who they are. I love that fact. Maybe I am just a basement dwelling geek at heart but I love exchanging emails with a guy... I love the ease of IM conversation. It isn't at all about fearing rejection-- for me it is more about communicating the way you enjoy to communicate. And I fully agree that it is important to meet a person ASAP... a picture and a profile really cannot predict chemistry! Online dating isn't for everyone but it is definitely something everyone should try.
Pyro Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 What do you think of online dating? Any experiences to share? Can it work? Is it too risky? When it comes to dating, I think that just about anything is worth trying at least once. But don't rely on just on-line dating. I would put that secondary to RL interactions but you never know what will happen in the online world.
Totoro Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 I think online dating is a great idea, and to be honest, I think it's the *best* way to meet people **if you know what you're doing and are careful.*** I've had a lot of success w/online dating, and I have several friends and friends of friends who are engaged or married to someone they met that way. First, here's why I like it: 1) To be blunt, you can "browse" people online and weed out people based on your criteria. For example, if there's no way in h*ll you would date someone who does recreational drugs, is very left-wing or right-wing politically, etc. you can find that out from his/her profile ahead of time so you don't have to go through the hassle of meeting them and then realizing it won't work. 2) You can be very assertive and specific about what you want/what you're looking for...probably more than you would be in real life. 3) You can check out a lot of people in a shorter amount of time. Now, the caveats. Sorry if any (or all) of them are obvious.: *DON'T contact/respond to anyone who mentions money, wants to borrow money, or says some BS like "I think you are my soulmate. Please call me in Nigeria. Here's my number..." This only happened to me once, but it does happen--it's a kind of "dating site" spam. * Email back and forth a few times w/out giving your last name, address, phone, or any identifying info. *The first (and maybe second, third?) time you meet, meet in a busy, safe, well-lit location. E.g. don't meet them in a dark alleyway or at their apartment--meet them in a cafe or something. *I recommend Nerve.com (though I think it's mostly a NY thing) or Match.com. I've heard conflicting reports about EHarmony. *Obviously, if someone seems creepy online, he/she is probably even creepier in person, so go with your gut feeling. BUT I can assure you there are many smart, interesting, super-cool people out there online. Good luck!
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