justanothermother Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 I am in a bit of a crisis. I was working from home on a contract basis and that job has just been terminated. I told my significant other whom I live with along with our kids, both under two, and he was very adamant that I needed to go find another job right away. The thing is, that I have been the major breadwinner for awhile now and allowing him to sleep in (until mid afternoon) and goof around while I worked, took care of both the kids, and the home. Everything these kids have, I paid for. I buy all the groceries, and pay the lion's share of all the bills. He's been able to work part time and I am beyond angry that he's refusing to step up and be a real provider now that we are in dire straights. He has the ability to work full time hours at his job but flat out chooses not to. Finding a job outside the home is a big problem for me right now. I have a serious phobia that keeps me from driving and don't have a licence. He won't get up and watch the kids in the morning and I can not drag two kids this little to a bus stop every morning before dawn when it's this cold out. I don't understand how he expects me to! Not to mention the daycare rates around here are sky high and babysitters that come to the house want a lot more than I can afford to pay. Is it wrong for me to be angry that he won't step up to the plate? It's not like he's a kid, he's nearly thirty! I don't even know why I am here anymore half the time. He does so little for me in terms of support both emotional and financial. I mean, he wouldn't even pry himself away from his computer long enough to discuss this. He just kept telling me I better do something about it over and over. I don't know what to do. I am just so sick of everything being MY cross to bear alone.
Author justanothermother Posted March 13, 2007 Author Posted March 13, 2007 Not Sure Why This Thread Did Not Show Up Until Now But Please Disregard As This Is A Double Post
alphamale Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 you'll need to jettison this fellow and find one who can bring something to the table.
Erik Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 Some of it is your own fault for letting him get away with it, and maybe he could be turned around, so I say give him one more chance. Tell him he should pull his weight. Give him exactly one day to wrap his mind around this novel idea, don't discuss it, don't allow him 'a few days to think about it.' Tell him you expect him to pull his weight, not just today and tomorrow, but every single day from now on and in perpetuity. (Secretly) set yourself a date a month or two away, by which he will have to have proven himself. If you feel he has been trying to sneak out on his obligations, kick him out. You risk feeding and catering to him for the rest of your life. Your kids are probably better off without him.
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